Court Order

Whatnext

Hope someone can give me a bit of help.

Long story short; I am in a long term partnership with my'one day to be my husband'! His divorcetook place over 6 years ago, ex wife has remarried etc, BUT not moved on, buthey that is another story!


Brief History


During the divorce process there was distrust (from my partner) over his soon to be ex wife and herfinances and an order was set up protecting the sale of the FMH (withoutagreement from both parents of children) all the time the kids were under 18 orin the case of one of the 'older children, with learning difficulties' all thetime they lived with the mother in either the FMH or another (bought with thewhole proceeds), but it was agreed mother could use all the proceeds to buysubsequent home, but 50% was hers and 50% was my partners, but his name MUST goon deeds.

So now new husband of ex did not want my partner associatedwith any new home, so sale of FMH happened and split 50/50.


Rest of order stated he paid mortgage on FMH and maintenanceof £x for younger children (they are nowover 18) all the time they were in FT education and under 17 and £x for olderone all the time they were in living with mother and in the FMH or somethingbought with the proceeds, or at least that is what we though


Saleof home and as money split 50/50 he continued to pay for the younger ones only, as he saw it there was now no funds of his in FMH as it has been sold.


Within 2 months the younger children were no longer welcomein the new home (so came to live with their father and 1) while the other mucholder (adult) child continues to reside with the mother and her husband.


As soon as this happened, we made do, with the weekendsleeping arrangements, till we were sure it was not the proverbial storm in ateacup, then made arrangements to kit the teenagers out with a room etc.


Money to ex was stopped by my partner, as the youngerchildren now resided with him.


2 years on and suddenly a letter is received from ex wifesolicitors seeking payment for the older child and arrears to when the FMH wassold. This was sent to him directly.


The 2 parents of the kids have not spoken for several monthsnow (someone didn't get their own way), it's been quite pleasant actually.


Question


Letter states he has to respond and pay this money within 10days or costs would be incurred.


Is the 10 days legal?

This letter is totally out of the blue - his solicitor whodealt with divorce etc, sold the practice and retired just after the sale ofthe house.



There is a copy of the court order which has the bonespicked out of it so many times, it was so ambiguous and never got fullyresolved and apart from going back to court to resolve, it was left as it was.



What would you do ?

19lottie82

Whatnext wrote: »

This letter is totally out of the blue - his solicitor whodealt with divorce etc, sold the practice and retired just after the sale ofthe house.





What would you do ?

Get a new lawyer.

Gigglepig

Here is what I'd do

1) Look at the exact wording, and perhaps send a letter back highlighting the part where it talks about the older child living in the FMH (if that is the part that no longer applies)

2) Do the decent thing and look at how you can best support the older child - even if the is now over 18 and no longer technically in the FMH additional support may be needed if he has learning difficulties (depending on how severe they are).

3) Consider a claim for maintenance from the mum for the younger kids living with you, going back to the date they moved.

4) Suggest that OH and his ex goes to mediation, to help them communicate better - this is in the best interest of all the children.

Whatnext

I need to go to work for the afternoon, will look at exact wording when I get back.
By the way the CHILD in question is in their 30's works part time serving teas, gets help from the state ( this is what they are entitled to in their own right) and mother gets a carers allowance. The CHILD does not go without.
But thanks for the replies so far.

The divorce cost loads, as it was and the amount payable is £60 per month for the next 10 years (retirement).

Gigglepig

You did not mention the age in the first post. Anyway, you asked "what would you do".

What I'd do is based on what I think would be morally right. You'd need to see a solicitor to get advice on what you would be legally required to do.

Morally -
Even if the disabled child has turned 30, I'd make the payment to give them a better life than what they could get on just disability allowance and a small income. And I'd be extremely grateful that the ex wife is their carer!

For parents who have disabled children there might not be a "moving on" when they reach adulthood. Morally and practically, the ex wife may need to support him. If it was my ex partner I'd be grateful that they did, allowing me to have a normal life without the duties of a carer.

From your post it sounds like he agreed to keep these payments going for as long as the disabled child lived with the mother in the first place. If that was the spirit of their agreement, why should he go back on his word later on?

Has he claimed maintenance from the ex for the younger children living with him (at the rate specified in the divorce agreement), or through CSA? Can this be off-set?

daska

I think you need to get proper legal advice. The wording is critical and you need to understand how it might be interpreted by the courts. And with the best will in the world any advice on here is likely to be best guess.

Having said that, would back paying the last two years and the ongoing cost cause a huge dent in your finances? This is his child and, even if they do get a small wage and some benefits, carer's allowance is pretty meagre. So I'd be tempted to suggest that there is a moral case for him continuing to support his child - but also that if they're working he suggests it gets paid directly to the child instead of the mother.

If the younger two are still of an age where he could claim maintenance I would have suggested he do so - except that if she's getting carer's allowance it means she has an income of <£100 and it probably wouldn't be worth it.

fannyanna

Whatnext wrote: »

What would you do ?

Speak to a lawyer

kingfisherblue

You say that all children are now over 18, so unless they are on certain collecge courses, there wiull be no child benefit or tax credits - therefore no maintenance is enforcable from the mother. If the 'children' have jobs, they should be paying board; if they are on JSA, they should still pay board from this.

Regarding the older 'child' who is in his thirties - I doubt if there is any legal requirement for to pay towards their keep, unless there is something in the court order that states this.

Regarding the FMH (family marital home, I assume) - it appears to be that the court order says that the mother can remain in the home (or any home bought with the proceeds) as long as their child with learning difficulties lives there. I hope that I have understood correctly. If I am correct, then this is a similar situation to myself and my ex. The court imposed a Mesher Order, and in my case, it states that I remain in the family home as long as:
1. My son needs it as his permanant home
2. I do not marry or cohabit for a period of six months or more
3. My son does not die
4. I do not die

If any of the above triggers happen, the house will be sold and the proceeds will be split 50/50 between my ex and myself (or our estates if we are deceased).

This order was put in place because my son has severe disabilities, although they are not life limiting. He cannot live independently and will never be able to live without substantial care. The Judge wanted to ensure that my son has a home to live in, despite the fact that I cannot earn a living in the same way as my ex can - as my son's carer, I am on benefits.

I get help with the mortgage (SMI) and I pay the remaining amount myself, along with the endowments, insurance, and all repairs and general upkeep. My ex has not paid anything towards the mortgage or house since he left more than seven years ago.

If it is a Mesher Order that your partner has, this should have been explained to him at the time. Meshers are not particularly common, but are sometimes used in cases like this, where a disabled child of the marriage will require ongoing care.

It may be worth contacting a solictor who specialises in family law to check the court order and to see if everything is being done correctly, according to that specific order.

Whatnext

kingfisherblue wrote: »

You say that all children are now over 18, so unless they are on certain collecge courses, there wiull be no child benefit or tax credits - therefore no maintenance is enforcable from the mother. If the 'children' have jobs, they should be paying board; if they are on JSA, they should still pay board from this.

Regarding the older 'child' who is in his thirties - I doubt if there is any legal requirement for to pay towards their keep, unless there is something in the court order that states this.

Regarding the FMH (family marital home, I assume) - it appears to be that the court order says that the mother can remain in the home (or any home bought with the proceeds) as long as their child with learning difficulties lives there. I hope that I have understood correctly. If I am correct, then this is a similar situation to myself and my ex. The court imposed a Mesher Order, and in my case, it states that I remain in the family home as long as:
1. My son needs it as his permanant home
2. I do not marry or cohabit for a period of six months or more
3. My son does not die
4. I do not die

If any of the above triggers happen, the house will be sold and the proceeds will be split 50/50 between my ex and myself (or our estates if we are deceased).

This order was put in place because my son has severe disabilities, although they are not life limiting. He cannot live independently and will never be able to live without substantial care. The Judge wanted to ensure that my son has a home to live in, despite the fact that I cannot earn a living in the same way as my ex can - as my son's carer, I am on benefits.

I get help with the mortgage (SMI) and I pay the remaining amount myself, along with the endowments, insurance, and all repairs and general upkeep. My ex has not paid anything towards the mortgage or house since he left more than seven years ago.

If it is a Mesher Order that your partner has, this should have been explained to him at the time. Meshers are not particularly common, but are sometimes used in cases like this, where a disabled child of the marriage will require ongoing care.

It may be worth contacting a solictor who specialises in family law to check the court order and to see if everything is being done correctly, according to that specific order.

Hello, yes it was a Mesher order which was attached to the Former Marital Home.

She was entitled to use all the money (50% was my partners), but when it was sold, her husband refused to use the money as it would have meant new husband would have to have both mother and father of children on the deeds of the new property. So money was split 50/50 between parents of children.

At that stage, maintenance continued for the 2 teenagers, but he did not pay for the other ADULT child as it appeared to be a condition of the Mesher Order.

EXTRACT
Provided as always that the said charge shall not becomeexercisable in any circumstances whatsoever as long as NAME OF CHILD remains inthe full time care of the Applicant (Mother) and lives in any property subjectto the Respondent's charge as NAME OF CHILD full time residence.

At no stage prior to now, has it been brought up and this is now 2 years ago and was payable until retirement of father.

As for their father claiming off of the mother, he earns more than her, and we felt it was not fair on the remaining ADULT. Mother works quite a bit and ADULT child is left on their own in the home.

The ADULT child is able to socialise, drinks, smokes etc and never seems short of money, mother controls their bank account or they would have no money. May at a later stage be able to live in assisted living which the father wants to investigate as he does not want to wait till the parents are not around, but mother won;t hear of it.

Hope this makes it a bit clearer.

Yes you are right legal advice needs seeking, but just wondered about the 10 days, as partner is working away at the moment, which is why I am asking as I will need to sort a solicitor out and arrange a meeting for him, but am worried we will not get it done in time.

If legally he needs to pay he will, he would also if he thought or knew there were needs for the CHILD.