Child custody

rose111

Hi there
Just looking for some help and advice please

My ex partner is wanting full custody of our child. At present he has him 2 days per week and he works 6 days a week but the 2 days he has him our son is with his mum.
I work 3 days per week, 2 of the days that he has him and 1 other day where I work a half day and my mum takes him
Now he wants him full time with me only having him on a sunday.
He has just settled into nursery before the summer holidays and goes to a few clubs already in my area. Ex Partner lives in a different city so would have to change everything
I also have another son so would be taking him away from his brother too.
I had to move out of my house and into temp accommodation untill I find another house, which should be very soon. Got a few viewings lined up.
This is the reason he wants custody - that I am an unfit mum and not responsible.
How would a court or lawyer see this? That my children are still safe with me and with me 5 days per week. Or that my son should live with his dad where his only day off would be the day that I have him and all the other days he is with his gran and not his dad. So in effect he would never be spending time with him and my son would be allowed to see his brother and mum 1 day per week and spend 6 days with his gran.
I know in my head the answer but he is adamant he will get FULL custody
I am making an appointment with a lawyer also
Thanks in advance for your help :-)

Mojisola

rose111 wrote: »

I know in my head the answer but he is adamant he will get FULL custody

I am making an appointment with a lawyer also

Make sure your lawyer is a good one because it sounds as if your ex is going to be trouble.

I think it's unlikely that a child would be taken away from mother and a sibling and moved to another town unless you could be shown to be an unfit mother.

Keep copies of everything he sends you - texts, emails - and record phone calls. He may let something slip that will show his intentions. He could just be desperate to see his child but, as he doesn't have him on his day off, that doesn't ring true.

thehappybutterfly

How awful for you rose111. Is this a bolt out the blue or has this threat always been hanging over your head? Could it be an empty threat - maybe in response to a recent argument? I'd like to think he's just bluffing to keep you on edge but only you know what he's like. But like Mojisola said, get yourself a decent family lawyer - even it turns out to go nowhere, you're better having good legal support because he does sound like trouble.

Caroline_a

Courts will rarely split siblings. My ex tried this. He lost. Sort out your accommodation and be the best mum you can. What a plonker to put you and your son through this!

Person_one

I really really doubt he'll get full custody. How long have you been separated? How long have you supposedly been an 'unfit' mother but he's happily let you look after the children?

Does he even want custody, truly? Obviously I've never met him but it sounds a bit like he just wants to exert some power and upset you.

poet123

Get a good Solicitor and be open and frank with them. He is probably just trying to intimidate you in the hope you will decide to give in. Good luck.

kingfisherblue

My ex tried this. I already had a good family solicitor and spoke to her about it. She told me that unfortunately, many coiuples that have split use the children to hurt each other, and she doubted that it would go anywhere. He would have to prove that I was an unfit mother to gain custody. It turned out to be an empty threat, said in anger - unless, of course, he diid take legal advice and found that he had no grounds whatsoever to suggest that I was unfit to bring up our children.

How long ago was the split?

Does your ex pay maintenance? (maybe he sees your child as a way of not paying you anything, or as a way of increasing his income if he can get child related benefits and maintenance from you)

Has he threatened this before, or shown any interest in having your son full time before?

Is there anything that can be held against you? If there is, be upfront with your solicitor from the start. You don't want it to come back and bite you on the bum.

Has he made any of these comments in writing (email/text)? Keep them.

Are you concerned that he won't return your son after a visit at the moment? Others will be able to tell you if an emergency order is possible, but you may need to give more information.

You might want to check whether he is allowed to collect your child from nursery. My children are at school, one at special school. The special school will only release children to named adults My son will only be released to me, my adult daughter, or my father-in-law - I didn't add my ex's name to the list because he doesn't live round here and is never likely to collect him.