Does debt make anyone else feel lonely?

bexiboo92

RAS wrote: »

Actually, you are now in control of your debt, perhaps for the first time in your life?

it still doesn't feel like it....

jandk

I agree with the lonely part....but I am a single parent so have no support network (apart from lurking on here)

I work full time but get no help at all so every penny of my wages is gone by the following pay day. When my husband and I split up, I used my share of the equity to pay off debts, so my family think I'm "well off" as they assume I have the equity sitting in an interest account. In reality, I paid off 8 debts, and am now down to the final 2 (from £42k down to £2.5k)

It's hard and lonely, but I know I will feel proud to have achieved my debt free day.

And this place is my saviour - to know I'm not the only person to feel like I do.

Chin up - we'll all get there in the end

xx

bexiboo92

jandk wrote: »

I agree with the lonely part....but I am a single parent so have no support network (apart from lurking on here)

I work full time but get no help at all so every penny of my wages is gone by the following pay day. When my husband and I split up, I used my share of the equity to pay off debts, so my family think I'm "well off" as they assume I have the equity sitting in an interest account. In reality, I paid off 8 debts, and am now down to the final 2 (from £42k down to £2.5k)

It's hard and lonely, but I know I will feel proud to have achieved my debt free day.

And this place is my saviour - to know I'm not the only person to feel like I do.

Chin up - we'll all get there in the end

xx

You should feel so proud of yourself x

mcjordi

Mine is slowly getting paid off.. my family dont know i owe money out..
1 of my larger debts goes statued barred in september according to my credit report but in reality it already is..

lilly81

Hi Bexibo,
Have you tried joining this thread:
Monday 2nd July What small DFW things will you do ?!?

It helped me so much to keep on track and not feel too lonely

Vikipollard

Hi Bex,

Yes, it is a lonely place at times, especially if you feel you can't tell those closest to you the full extent.

It won't help you much, but I'd run up almost £20k of debt (as per my signature) that my DH didn't know about. The conversation we had when the sh7t hit the fan is one I tried for a long time to airbrush out of my head.

Now, as someone else has said, I am proud to have dealt with it, essentially through facing up to it myself. I'm not proud of the debt ~ that'll never happen. But I am proud to have dealt with it. The loneliness you feel is (obviously) partly down to not having much spare, but as big is the guilt that you feel for being in that position, as well as not telling everyone the full detail. Perpetuating circle that one.

Use this forum as your sounding board. You will get a great deal of encouragement and support on the journey you have started.

Chin up, and start forgiving yourself

bexiboo92

Vikipollard wrote: »

Hi Bex,

Yes, it is a lonely place at times, especially if you feel you can't tell those closest to you the full extent.

It won't help you much, but I'd run up almost £20k of debt (as per my signature) that my DH didn't know about. The conversation we had when the sh7t hit the fan is one I tried for a long time to airbrush out of my head.

Now, as someone else has said, I am proud to have dealt with it, essentially through facing up to it myself. I'm not proud of the debt ~ that'll never happen. But I am proud to have dealt with it. The loneliness you feel is (obviously) partly down to not having much spare, but as big is the guilt that you feel for being in that position, as well as not telling everyone the full detail. Perpetuating circle that one.

Use this forum as your sounding board. You will get a great deal of encouragement and support on the journey you have started.

Chin up, and start forgiving yourself

Thank you. Very encouraging and warming words!

It's a weird sort of loneliness; like i keep trying to ask for help, i'd scream it off the top of the highest building but yet I'm terrified to explain why I need the help.

My relationship isn't the strongest which is helping. Debt is like a dirty word, but i just can't handle avoiding it anymore.