Does debt make anyone else feel lonely?

bexiboo92

I feel like ever since I buried myself in this hole of debt I've sort of become isolated and feeling incredibly lonely. Despite having a support mum and dad, and an OH, i just feel like there's no one there at 1/2am when I wake can't sleep because of the worry. Or when I talk to a friend and she's like "I'm so skint" yet still has £300 still left in her bank account

Is this just me who feels like this!?

mum2one

no its not, sounds like u have a good support network, I know mine os frustration, is it wasnt for the interest be a doodle! x

bexiboo92

mum2one wrote: »

no its not, sounds like u have a good support network, I know mine os frustration, is it wasnt for the interest be a doodle! x

the support network don't know about half of the debt

mum2one

right, its not the easiest of things that you can drop into conversartion, for me, my family and friends (bar 1) who know the true extent of my debts, yet on here ift feels the natural thing in the world. So I guess I use this as my support network.

The thing that keeps me going if little treats, of I hit a new target, say £500 figure, then have little treat even book or long soak in the bath (luxury as don't have a bath - walk in shower),

Without sounding personal what level of debt are you at, x

DalePie

I think debt is one of the hardest and possibly most shameful (Not sure if this has come out right) kinda problems. People either don't talk about debt or when they do it's a nudge nudge wink wink kinda thing.

I think being on here helps alot though! It's good to now there are other people just like us out there!

BlushingRose

I find it lonely too as there are things that we can't do/go to because it just costs too much money. I'm finding that we socialise even less than we did before, and that was rare even then.

foxgloves

No, it didn't make me feel lonely. It made me feel proud. You see, I started overspending aged 19 when I was a student & was in debt of some form or another for over 20 years. After I'd had my LBM (followed a couple of months later by partner having his!), I started budgetting properly for the first time & paying down what we owed. So why did I feel proud? Well, because I'd finally decided to do something about it, because I found that instead of being hopeless with money, as I'd always thought, I actually found I was pretty good at it once I'd experimented a bit & got a budget in place. Then I felt proud of the different skills I was using to help us get debt-free.....for example, growing veg, cooking from scratch, batch cooking, making presents, meal-planning (I was a good cook, but meal-planning & careful food shopping was totally new to me). Every time I mended something or made something instead of rushing out to buy a new one, or took the time to research the best deals if we did need to buy something, yes, I felt proud of myself, because this was new behaviour for me & very different from the old behaviour that got me into such a long period of debt in the first place. Sure, I'd sometimes see a fab pair of boots & think 'I sooooooo want those', but I never wanted them as much as I wanted to become debt-free. We paid off the last bit of debt in May last year & as we've had a redundancy since then, the new budgetting skills have been really useful. As for lonely......we're in difficult economic times & so many of us are having to be very careful with money. I think we should all feel part of a community of the sensible, creative & resourceful people that we clearly are......that's my motivating post of the week, lol x

Wood.Justin

I agree to a point with the money situation making me feel a bit lonely. We have to watch everything we spend so more often than not our spare time is spent just lounging around saying how much it sucks not having any money to do anything.

I think we're in a good community here, no matter how big or small your debt these guys on here are so resourceful and supportive.

I've picked up many ideas during my lurking and being a member which I hope I can keep with me for the rest of my life!

bexiboo92

mum2one wrote: »

right, its not the easiest of things that you can drop into conversartion, for me, my family and friends (bar 1) who know the true extent of my debts, yet on here ift feels the natural thing in the world. So I guess I use this as my support network.

The thing that keeps me going if little treats, of I hit a new target, say £500 figure, then have little treat even book or long soak in the bath (luxury as don't have a bath - walk in shower),

Without sounding personal what level of debt are you at, x

I owe around £4000. It's not a lot to some people but on minimum wage and living out of home, i barely have £100 left over after all the bills.

Some of my friends know the full extent. My mum and dad know I'm in money troubles but don't know what or to what extent.

I only had my LBM a few weeks back, but I'm not patient and I just want to sort this and stop feeling like it's controlling my life.

RAS

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I only had my LBM a few weeks back, but I'm not patient and I just want to sort this and stop feeling like it's controlling my life.

Actually, you are now in control of your debt, perhaps for the first time in your life?

mcjordi

well im "they cant have what i havent got" type of person.. worse case ccj if i dont pay then they take my non existent possesions.
just had a phone call off fenton cooper about 10 mins ago treatening legal action on a non enforcable debt.. i said bring it on matey.. how the hell they got my phone number ill never know

oh i owe around 8k i think.. been a while since i tallied it all up..maybe less but as im on disability money its a lot lol

edit.. its more like 5k after a quick tally up..