Partner Working Away

rachbc

My husband has just got some work that will mean working away for 2 weeks every 2 months. I know compared to being in the forces etc its not long, and not even that frequent but its a big change for us as a family.

Anyone got any tips - for things I can do to help him cope with the travel (14 hours each way)/ being away, to help the kids (5 and 13) cope with him being away and last but not least for me?

Ta

Mrs.W_2

We're based in Surrey, my OH works roughly the same work pattern in the Highlands of Scotland. He also drives, as flying is not practical.

For the drive, I make all his favourite sandwiches (bagettes - as they are less messy and easier to eat in his van cab), snack foods and soft drinks.

We spend a couple of minutes the night before he leaves discussing what sort of music he wants to take, so I'll burn four or five discs.

We pack the latest copies of Sea Angler and Top Gear magazines for him to read while away. Our daughters make / write cards, lettersand pictures that they slip (completely unnoticed:D) into Dady's suitcase.

He takes his laptop, enabling him to say good night to our DD's via Skype. But above all, we talk once a day in the evening, chatting as we would had he been at home.

Wishing you all well with this change.:)

Spendless

Mr S has worked away o/n at least once a week for the last 9 years (since DD was born) with no set pattern and in addition to also doing some late nights/early mornings.

Get as prepared as you can when there is 2 pairs of hands eg laundry up to date, grocery shopping full. Have some simple meals at hand eg I frequently do a pasta bake when hubby isn't here, it uses store-cupboard ingrediants, doesn't use many pots and pans and is filling.

Me and the kids normally speak to DH on his mobile on an evening when he works away.

rachbc

Play lists for the journey are a great idea - he'll be flying so will be able to use his laptop - but yes new music and some light weight reading matter are a good idea.

Not sure how the time differences will work with speaking in the eves/ finding a good time to speak to the kids - hoping he'll be able to sneak an occasional bedtime story via skype at him lunch time!

Batch cooking to have a few easy meals in the freezer for when he's not here is good idea too thanks Spendless

gingin_2

My husband is away 2-5 days a week, mostly staying in London because that is where work is based and sometimes abroad.

I totally agree re the goodnight by skype. We also text a lot during the day and call him up when we feel like it.

My children have been used to it since they were born but know it is not normal compared to their friends. I try to explain to them why he is doing it and we always look forwards to seeing him and our routine on the night he does come home after being away is that he brings them a treat when he comes home - either a magazine or some sweets, sometimes a book and we have a nice drink and nibbles together.

For me, it can be hard. I feel the need to over-compensate emotionally because he is not here. There is no one to take over if I am feeling ill, I have virtually single parented the children myself. We do have good family who we stay with in the holidays when OH is away, which is lovely and we also go and stay with him when we can.

There are times when I love it, like this week he is away wednesday and thurday night and I already have Bridesmaids on DVD to watch and love starfishing in the bed alone

rachbc

Yes gingin I'm already looking for the positives - and my own choice of film is high up the list!

The other up side is when he is here he'll be working from home so able to do much more of the school drop offs and pick ups than now - though obviously thats the extra things for dd to miss!!

gingin_2

rachbc wrote: »

Yes gingin I'm already looking for the positives - and my own choice of film is high up the list!

The other up side is when he is here he'll be working from home so able to do much more of the school drop offs and pick ups than now - though obviously thats the extra things for dd to miss!!

So he gets 6 weeks working at home? That is a huge plus!

amus

Mrs.W wrote: »

We're based in Surrey, my OH works roughly the same work pattern in the Highlands of Scotland. He also drives, as flying is not practical.

For the drive, I make all his favourite sandwiches (bagettes - as they are less messy and easier to eat in his van cab), snack foods and soft drinks.

We spend a couple of minutes the night before he leaves discussing what sort of music he wants to take, so I'll burn four or five discs.

We pack the latest copies of Sea Angler and Top Gear magazines for him to read while away. Our daughters make / write cards, lettersand pictures that they slip (completely unnoticed:D) into Dady's suitcase.

He takes his laptop, enabling him to say good night to our DD's via Skype. But above all, we talk once a day in the evening, chatting as we would had he been at home.

Wishing you all well with this change.:)

Wow you are a really good wife, better not let OH see this.....

rachbc

gingin wrote: »

So he gets 6 weeks working at home? That is a huge plus!

Yep - it is and the up sides will definitely outweigh the the time away.

Am hoping we'll all be able to go out t some point and tag a holiday onto the end of a trip - which will also help dd especially to understand where he is when he's 'away'.

Mrs.W_2

As gingin said, there are positives on the homefront such as being able to watch the TV programmes the OH isn't keen on. The house stays that little bit cleaner and there are definitely fewer clothes and dishes to wash. Especially as my evening meals are all frozen in advance too.

I make an big effort to not let life sit on pause while OH is away. The eldest DD still has a friend stay for sleepovers at the weekends. We still have our regular weekend days out - OH gets bought a postcard from the seaside, etc.

Good friends living near by are a huge bonus! I've no close family support so being able to phone someone for cover when a silly situation comes along is important to me. (e.g. Just about to get into the car for the morning school run when our toddler vomits all over herself and me )

Sleep deprivation can sometimes be a problem. You're the only person there for all the things that start with someone waking you up at night with the words, "Mummy, I don't feel well / had a nightmare ..."

Those six weeks working at home are something to look forward to!