Disappointing report card

dprovan

My ds got his end of year report card yesterday. He is just finishing P5 and has turned 9 in the last couple of weeks, so is young for the year. We have seen his teacher twice through the year at parent nights and she told us the same thing both times. Ds is a lovely child, great personality, very popular, very funny, capable but is easily distracted, gets involved in conversations with others and spends time entertaining rather than concentrating. Ds never gets into trouble just is the life and soul of the party. Both times teacher was at a loss what to do and at 2nd meeting said same thing as first. If he doesn’t focus I will move him next to me! My response was, do it, move him up.

So we get the report card yesterday and it is hard to read. There is no sense of his personality; the greatest strength identified is that he takes part in all aspects of school life! In the negative Colum he needs to read passages closer needs to work on presentation, needs to be more settled and show more maturity! And so it goes on. “Again his potential is more than he is showing!”. His standardised test scores are in the above average category for communication and average for maths but in both he is below class average. I have mixed feelings. I don’t have a high opinion of the teacher and feel that little progress has been made in the year. I am unhappy with the tone of the report card, my son asked if it was good or bad and given how adorable he is as a person I feel that it is pretty harsh in terms of language and tone. I also know that concentration is an issue, homework’s are rushed and it is as quick as it can be finished and we are always re-enforcing the issue that work is careless so he is up and down the stairs correcting things.

Deep down I worry it is something to do with our parenting. My dd was the exact same and got a lower than expected transfer test score, she was very careless with work also. All through her schooling we were told that she was capable of more if she took time and care over work… I hear from so many parents at school how their kids love to read, do homework, and nail homework’s and tests. My kids would rather be out playing, on playstation or whatever and only read at bedtime. We did implement a rule that no tvs or PlayStations would be on before 7pm so there was no reason to rush homework but that didn’t seem to matter to much. So any tips from anyone? I was thinking of getting ds some extra tuition to see if it can help him to move on a bit or to get their opinion. Should I just relax and trust he will find his way when he is ready? Pretty much the minute my dd finished the transfer test, I noticed a massive improvement in her focus and homeworks… Maybe it will just happen when he is ready.

wifeforlife

I wouldn't worry to much to be honest, each child is different and will have different ways of working. My own 2 kids are polar opposites!

My daughter is the year below your son, so I understand how your feeling.

Tell your son he done very well and your very pleased with his report, however you and the teacher know he can do better, so he has something to aim to improve in P6.

I remember watching a programme years ago about childrens concentration and lack of interest in reading. The crux of it was that computer games and Tv editing is super duper quick, the editing has speeded everything up so when a child then goes to read a book, it doesn't move quickly enough for them so they get bored, and frustrated and give up.

My daughter reads everyday, sometimes she will read for hours, but I had to buy books to gain her interest, horrid Henry, diary of a wimpy kid and Malory towers. She still watches tv, maybe too much at times but we can't be perfect.

Sometimes a teacher gels well with a child and sometimes not, however I don't think the teacher has done anything wrong. Next year keep an eye on what's going on, and don't be afraid to speak to the teacher on a more regular basis, I don't think the parent teacher meetings are overly successful, as you don't get a good idea of what's really going on. Speak with your son and see why he gets distracted, having personality isn't a bad thing, it's how to utilise his skills that will be the making of him. If he likes to talk rather than read, have a fun debate on a subject he is interested in. Ignite his imagination!

bingo_bango

Stick with it! The teacher may get to see them during the day, but you get to see all aspects of your son's life. You would have recognised anything of real concern by now.
So you've raised an extrovert who gets on well with others. I would say that is to be applauded, especially as he is only 9. As long as he is showing some aptitude for learning, then I wouldn't get too stressed.

I'm with cathy on having a more involved relationship with the teacher. They would probably be glad of the opportunity to have continuing discussion of DS's 'shortcomings' in the classroom and how to mould him in the direction you want. One meeting a year isn't enough to make any real progress.

I'll admit to being very good at school right through until I hit 15. That's when I lost focus and started to wonder if school wasn't for me. I almost gave up completely, and didn't do very well at all in my final exams. It all worked out alright (took another 20 years, but hey!), but perhaps better that DS is doing this now when there is still time for you to discuss the importance of education with him and ensure that he gives himself the best fighting chance of doing well.

My eldest is now doing AS (actually finished this week) and I've been having long discussions with him over the past 2 years to guide him in the direction he wants to go. Before that he just wasn't ready to deal with making decisions like that. I'm happy that he has been given the information I wish I had when younger, and has used that to make his own mind up about wanting a decent education. He has an xbox, and a TV in his room, but he is sensible about using them when studying, as he wants to do this for himself, not because I expect it from him.

You seem to have a good grip of the situation so far, and the very fact that you have recognised an 'issue' bodes well for your son's future. As you said, your daughter was similar and now has more focus. Maybe you have learned more than you think from raisig her! Anyway, it's certainly not anything you as a parent have or haven't done. You seem to have a reasonable attitude to all of this, so I can only advise you to keep calm and carry on. He'll get there in the end!

mrsrwallace

I'm in total agreement with the comments above. Your child seems to be a happy child and one who can communicate with his peers and this is something to be pleased about. How I wish I had been a more extrovert child! You are concerned only because you want him to do the best he can and not fall behind, this is the response of a caring parent so no I would not say you have done anything to worry about. Keep abreast of the situation as he enters P6, from memory this was a very busy year for my children and it will become evident then if he really needs extra tuiton or not. My children are different in academic ability, sporting ability, personality etc. yet they all have good qualities within them and everyone has the potential to be the best they can be so I would just keep a good relationship with the teacher/school, raise concerns if you have any and maybe introduce a reward scheme at home for say maybe reading for ten minutes a day or spending some time going over topics covered in school. Don't forget there are loads of free websites available too that help with Maths and English and so can be a fun way of learning. Just keep encouraging him and he WILL do well. He has a parent that is obviously concerned and interested in his wellbeing and future so how can he go wrong?!

dprovan

thanks for the word of encouragement guys it is reassuring. I agree that I could/should have had more contact with his teacher to monitor how things were going. I know his teacher for next year is really approachable so i will get on the case earlier. In terms of ds, the comments abover are correct, in terms of being a sociable/happy child he has it sussed. I was disapointed that his report did not reflect any of that but i will get over it. It is so true that you never stop worrying/wanting the best for your little ones.
thanks again for your kind words

leftieM

My advice is to remove the playstation/computer games/excessively lively programmes from the end of the summer holidays until after the transfer tests. It is not an easy option and it will mean more work for you because you will not have that down time when he is on the PS. However it will probably help his concentration and behaviour in class and that will impact on his results. If it doesn't help his behaviour/attainment then you can always turn it back on again. Give it from September to Christmas to see.

elliemoo

This sounds exactly like my son and I wouldn't remove his playstation etc. The transfer test is not the be all and end all, my eldest has just finished P7 and will be going to grammar with an A. Yes we did get extra tuition, an hour a week, but I deliberately kept the rest of her life as normal as possible with all her usual activities etc. She very rarely read and I thought her reading was below average.

Encourage your son, take every opportunity to bring learning into his lfe just through normal activities.

I will be doing the same with my son as I did with my daughter and you know what sometimes the change of teacher will make a difference. Give him a chance and just encourage the good sides.

Best of luck

NAR

dprovan wrote: »

Deep down I worry it is something to do with our parenting. My dd was the exact same and got a lower than expected transfer test score, she was very careless with work also. All through her schooling we were told that she was capable of more if she took time and care over work… I hear from so many parents at school how their kids love to read, do homework, and nail homework’s and tests. My kids would rather be out playing, on playstation or whatever and only read at bedtime.

Sounds like you know what the problem is but you are not rectifying it. You just want to blame the teacher!

Blackpool_Saver

I kept thinking it would all come right, it didn't, schools are not firm enough with children nowadays. Keep on at them and make sure your child works hard.

travellinglight_2

It's impossible for us to know from this forum if there are any underlying diffs for your child. However, we found limiting xbox to the weekends with 30 mins twice a week as a reward for good effort at homework (ie not enough to just rush through) was useful. We went back to shared reading to get one of our children started in reading - picked a book from a movie he'd seen... it was not easy as after years of his reluctance, being disorganised, acting the class fool and despite having a good general knowledge and doing fine in discussions etc he continued to struggle. His behav became distracting to others and an irritant to teacher. We asked for assessment from ed psch as we wondered had he an underlying diff. We were told he was not "bad enough" and others needed this more. Long story short. Terrible 2ndry school experience where he was labelled as a trouble maker and finally lots of assessments showed he had dyslexia and ADD. Do not ignore your niggling concerns at primary school stage. If school do not refer ask GP for help. BELB now have a team of OTs, ?physios and SW( I think ) who assess if referred by school. Hope none of this is what you face as it is a struggle to get heard. Good luck.

leftieM

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I kept thinking it would all come right, it didn't, schools are not firm enough with children nowadays. Keep on at them and make sure your child works hard.

Teachers need the support of parents. How can they deal with a disruptive child during the day when the parents let them sit on game consoles for the evening?
Then if the teacher tries to tell the parent that their child's behaviour is difficult what does the parent hear?? What they want to hear, not what's actually being said.
The one thing I always look for at parent teacher meeting etc is how my child behaves in class. If their behaviour is good then everything else follows. If the behaviour is not good then I will tackle it.