Getting 2 YO to eat veg

conradmum

Lotus-eater wrote: »

He's never eaten fresh vegetables, it used to work when we hid them in a sauce, but I think he's cottoned onto that.
So he's really almost never benefited from fresh healthy veg, now I'm really panicking :undecided

He's not underweight though and is tbh a bit of a tearaway in alot of situations...........most situations, err :undecided He has alot of energy, lets put it that way.
He likes breaking things and hitting people, crashing things, but he does also have a softer side and that's not just his Dad talking

He's really not that bad, he really isn't, it does sound like he is, but he is a handful, no doubt about it.

The stricter I am, the more he seems to rebel against it, we reached a level with his older sister, when after that, it calmed down, which was fine and I expected it, with him it just seems to keep climbing, he's not out of control, because we are in control, but he doesn't seem to care one way or the other.

Maybe this is normal 2 YO behaviour and we just had it good with his older sister I keep hoping.

It sounds like it's become a battle of wills. If you make sure he gets his folic acid etc. another way, e.g. a vitamin supplement, then maybe that will calm your fears enough so that you can step back? It takes two to fight.

Another thing I forgot to say is to allow him to get hungry before meals too. Things look a lot more appealing when you're hungry.

Lotus-eater

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Someone once pointed out to me that food is one of the very few things that children can control.

It's up to us if they watch tv, go to bed, play with toys, go outside, go to school/nursery, have a bath etc etc etc.

However no matter what we do we cannot make them eat that carrot. It's one thing they actually have some control over. Children like to explore boundaries and push buttons and food is often a battle they can win.

Don't turn it into a battle then they can't win and therefore it becomes plain old boring food rather than anything else.

I'm not sure if I 100% believe the control issue, but she did have a point imo. Certainly not turning food into a battle ground worked much better.

<sigh> I know, I don't want to turn it into a battlefield... I didn't want to turn it into a battlefield anyway.
I'm not exactly sure how I've ended up like this, I always swore I wouldn't.

I pictured my kids going into a restaurant and asking if the veggies are in season and fresh :rotfl: not asking what they could and couldn't get away with

LOL

Lotus-eater

conradmum wrote: »

It sounds like it's become a battle of wills. If you make sure he gets his folic acid etc. another way, e.g. a vitamin supplement, then maybe that will calm your fears enough so that you can step back? It takes two to fight.

Another thing I forgot to say is to allow him to get hungry before meals too. Things look a lot more appealing when you're hungry.

OK folic acid, I'll look at that in the morning.

I've allowed him to get hungry, I've allowed him to be starving before a meal and it I'm afraid doesn't work in the slightest.

My OH gently reprimanded me a couple of days ago, as I tried to feed him a meal at lunchtime and then again at dinnertime (same meal), he didn't eat it, didn't (wouldn't) eat anything, so he woke up all floppy at 4am, hungry.

He had nothing before normal breakfast time, where I gave him a banana as well as his normal breakfast and it dealt with the banana crisis, as he was starving, so bananas are now OK, I think

Then I tried it with an apple, no joy, he'd prefer to go hungry.

There's only so far you can go with starving your children he is so stubborn it's unbelievable, I'm positive it would be hospital and drips before he gave in, which leaves me in a unenviable position :undecided

But thanks for your continuing advice, I'll try to take it all in.

conradmum

Lotus-eater wrote: »

OK folic acid, I'll look at that in the morning.

I've allowed him to get hungry, I've allowed him to be starving before a meal and it I'm afraid doesn't work in the slightest.

My OH gently reprimanded me a couple of days ago, as I tried to feed him a meal at lunchtime and then again at dinnertime (same meal), he didn't eat it, didn't (wouldn't) eat anything, so he woke up all floppy at 4am, hungry.

He had nothing before normal breakfast time, where I gave him a banana as well as his normal breakfast and it dealt with the banana crisis, as he was starving, so bananas are now OK, I think

Then I tried it with an apple, no joy, he'd prefer to go hungry.

There's only so far you can go with starving your children he is so stubborn it's unbelievable, I'm positive it would be hospital and drips before he gave in, which leaves me in a unenviable position :undecided

But thanks for your continuing advice, I'll try to take it all in.

Yes, people with kids who eat everything won't believe you when you tell them your child really would starve itself rather than eat something they don't like. Been there done that.

My husband and I have come to an agreement that he'll stop badgering our eight year old about what he's eating at every meal. Most of the time dad sticks to it but it was surprisingly hard for him to get out of the habit. Yet, on balance, our son eats a good diet.

He eats a range of vegetables, many fruits, meat, fish etc. He's by no means a junk food addict because we rarely eat that kind of food anyway. But there is also a range of things that he simply won't/can't eat. And he won't try new things unless it's his idea to try them. There's nothing that will put him off a food faster than suggesting that he try it.

One time, when he was four, we were at a restaurant my husband was trying to get him to eat something. As per normal, he was refusing. Another stressful mealtime. Sigh. So, I said to my husband, in front of our son, 'you're going about it the wrong way. You should say - you can't have any of this, it's for grown-ups only.' Joking, he turned to my son and repeated what I'd just said. He immediately said he wanted some! My husband looked at me and said 'you're scary'. :rotfl:

So my advice is, relax about it, don't take it as a sign you're a bad parent, and ignore anyone who tries to imply as such. Kids are all different and no one who hasn't had a child like that can possibly understand what it's like.

Sambucus_Nigra

Oh LE - yes, I've been there. With a DSD that unfortunately I couldn't starve first as she is OH's and he wouldn't do it.

She will eat anything as long as it's bland and either white or has bright yellow breadcrumbs.

And she's now 15, still thin as a rake and has now decided that bread is also 'out' so will only eat pizza hut pizzas, home made just get left.

Apart from brocolli and carrots that is. So I often do brocolli and potato mash [with lots of cauli and maybe some other pale or green veg in there as well], and often do carrot mash [yes, with swede and butternut squash in there].

It's half a battle of wills as he's trying to control something; and half that you are battling with the sweet and salty food that is out there and by 2, he knows that.

What he would do if you only had fresh fruit and veg in the house, and none of the food that you don't want him to eat - I don't know....at some point he would have to eat it as he'd not starve to death would he? Or would he?

Perhaps go back a step and tell him he has to choose two fruits and two veg that he likes best and you will stick to just those - or just remove them altogether, let the topic drop and introduce them one by one on his plate later, and if he doesn't eat them, start crying and having hysterics about how upset you are after growing them 'just for him' and see if that does it.


[just kidding]


[definitely do the 'not for kids thing'...if you can]...

marisco_2

I have been giving this some thought. Lotus is your little boy still teething? You can tell how much of a nightmare that 'phase' was with my two, that I have blocked out from my mind when it all stopped! If your sons big back teeth are coming through it could be effecting his appetite and what he will and wont consider eating. His mouth may be feeling different to him and have triggered him being wary of what he will and wont put in his mouth and chew.

Another thing that crossed my mind is are you in the process of toilet training your son at the moment? Lets say he is in pull ups and begininng to read and understand his bodily functions. This can be an unnerving time for little kids. Eating lots of fruit and veg can keep people very regular. Maybe he has linked eating certain things with how this effects his bowel movements. By eating what he currently is perhaps he feels comfier about his digestive process. If he is past the pull ups stage and currently wearing normal pants and using the loo this may be inhibiting him too. Its very normal for kids to feel uncomfy about doing number 2s on the toilet. All this could be a part of it.

My son was under a dietician for a while. She encouraged going completely back to basics. Even removing cutlery and letting him explore foods. This was hard to get my head round at first as I had always instilled the good table manners I had been brought up knowing. So he was encouraged to use his fingers to eat. I was advised to use vegetables in play, for example, playing shop, cutting up potatoes etc and letting him paint with them. It was all focused about making the child comfy round food. I realise you have done all you can in introducing lovely home grown foods to him. Maybe it needs to be approached in a more childlike manner.

As for the way you describe his behaviours and approach it all seems very normal to me for a boy of his age. Boys are far louder and more boisterous than girls and need alot of gentle handling. My now 6 year old went through the hitting, biting, cant be reasoned with phases. He also showed signs of briefly acknowledging bad behaviour before starting all over again. Can strongly relate to the naughty step never cooling down. In the last year or so, since starting year 1 at school and getting a teacher who even I am scared of, he has settled right down.

This whole situation is clearly really getting to you and understandably. Hope this thread has helped you.

JoJoB

I know it's not a popular method, for reasons which i do agree with, but when my daughter went through a no veg phase I used bribery.

First of all I made sure that there was veg or salad on her plate at all mealtimes without fail, even if she didn't eat it, and i didn't make a fuss if she left it, just thought it was important to present it as the norm for all meals so eventually it loses a bit of the horror factor.

Then I found out what her absolutely favourite meal is as well as her absolutely favourite treat. Then I would give her salad as a starter and say her favourite will be on the table when salad is eaten (explaining that the salad is what helps her body stay strong etc). We experimented with different dressings in dipping bowls and I would eat at the same time, dipping leaves into various dressings and saying which one was my favourite. Eventually she tried too, and now she will eat all types of salad as long as it has honey and mustard dressing.

And I am afraid my daughter, like most ladies, is a big fan of chocolate, and I have unashamedly used the hint of chocolate biscuit for pudding as encouragement to try and eat her vegetables. I say if you really can't manage your vegetables that's fine, but chocolate can only be eaten after vegetables.

Admittedly my child will do literally anything for chocolate , but maybe there's something else your child is absolutely obsessed with?

The bribery phase only lasted a short while and served to get her used to eating the good stuff - now she doesn't question it at all when it is on her plate and she is one of those rare children who will try anything and eat most things (yesterdays lunch was a beetroot risotto with goats cheese lol).

Judi101

Oh I went through this with my DD. She hit 18 months and became the pickiest eater alive. So we did some hiding of veg in pasta sauce which was her favourite meal - so we had it every other meal almost. Cant stand the stuff now (she's 6) lol. We fell into the battlefield technique and it doesnt work. By making food an issue ur telling them its something to be worried and stressed over. Its SO hard to relax about it I know but until you do it wont get better. And I do think it can be a waiting game. We did the hiding veg thing so she'd eat some but made sure she was given veg to eat properly too. Ignore the behaviours you dont want and praise to the hilt the behaviours you do. Eat meals as a family so they can see you eating properly and just wait them out. They'll come out of it eventually.

My DS (now 4) went thru the same thing at the same age. His wasnt anything as extreme as we applied all the above techniques with him and it worked. We just ended up eating meatball pasta for everyother meal again. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My DD is fab now, will try anything and loves asparagus and broccoli.

SkintGypsy

Does he eat plenty for breakfast and lunch, even if it's not your preferred choice of food?

If so, it may be worth continuing to sit down at the table, all with the same thing, veg included, and just let him not eat it. That is the norm and he will get used to it. If he doesn't eat, he won't starve if he's eaten two normal meals beforehand.

My girl is older now (6) but she was quite fussy with veg. She knows the rule is that she at least tries each item, but if she wants pudding she must eat an agreed amount.

You are right to worry/address this now. Kids don't just change on their own if they get what they demand and parents stop questioning poor food choices.

Judi101

I totally agree. Make it clear this is what we eat. The rule is try some of it then make a huge thing of the fact he tried it, no matter how small and ignore him playing up about it. But dont make a different meal for him. He chooses to eat the meal everyone else is eating or not. We do have the rule even now that you try it once. Even at 4& 6 it can still take several goes to agree to liking something.

We have meals regularly that one of the kids isnt partial too but they do eat some of it. I will not make more than one meal. That way lies madness lol.