Am determined NOT to cry!!

floss2

Faith177 wrote: »

Hi all

Sorry I need to have a rant (feel like that's all I ever do). Does anyone else feel like their wedding is doomed before it has even started.

1) We lent money to my brother & his gf so they could get their flat they were meant to pay us back Jan 11 still nothing and they haven't even had the decency to speak to me about it. This was money from our wedding fund.
2) OH lost his job last April took until the August to get another which is a very low paid job (just about covers bills) so again wedding fund took a hit BIG time.
3) General issues around hotels ect
4) Finally getting back on track following a massive vet bill too and just learnt that OH will loose his bonus that was going to go into wedding fund because someone made a major mess up at his work that was found on the audit today. Failed audit means no bonus :mad:...

OP - 2 things struck me:

1. Ask your brother for the money back - 17 months overdue is not on and TBH taking the pi$$

2. Your OH's bonus is a bonus, not a guaranteed payment, I would take it as such and use it for something nice, not count on it for your wedding fund. My DH get a very nice bonus (totally unexpected) last year and we put it towards the costs of refitting our bathroom, upgrading to what we had wanted but couldn't really afford before he got it.

Faith177

Hi Floss

It's hard asking brother for money as only he works his OH is a student and only works part time. She was meant to be getting full time work when that didn't happen she went back to uni :mad:

I don't normally rely on things like bonuses (like any good MSE :T) but OH had worked so hard to do eveything to exceed criteria for the bonus that it look like it wouldn't be a problem (very naive I know). Plus he got one in March and the pub had done even better this quarter. If they hadn't found this one error they would have got 98% highest on the area and we would be laughing :j

That is what has pee'd me off the most I think I have bearly seen him the last yr since he started the stupid job he works 120 hours a week sometimes and receives nothing extra for it cause he is on salary. We have had to cancel days out, weekends away and due to one thing he has nothing to show for this.

Oh well back to the grindstone lunch is nearly over. Thank you all again for your comments and advise. I just needed a rant plus OH is really beating himself up over this and is in a right old state. Plus the text messages he received from his boss (who is in Egypt right now) were disgusting! I was fuming when I read them completely over the top and not necessary in the circumstances

aarchk

I would be harsh and then say your brother needs to find the money from somewhere to repay you. It was his GFs choice to return to uni but they should not have expected the loan to extend in any way. Can the parents (yours and his GFs help at all?). I assume this was for a deposit which all being well the parents will get back at the end of uni - you in the meantime need the money now. Give him a deadline or it will just drag on.

I had the same experience with my sister (I had to postpone travelling and ended up never going) and I now never lend money to anyone. It makes me feel horrible saying no but the heartache and stress seriously isnt worth it.