Help! Divorce looming....

amateur_saver

What do I do? Divorce Looming
I have been with my husband 13 years, 10 married.
We both work full time and have our own pensions. When we bought our house in 2002 we sold our separate homes, he had no profit and I had enough to put £20,000 down for deposit and £15,000 for furniture etc. We currently have a one account where our mortgage savings and current account are altogether. For 10 years I was paying half of his child maintenance for his daughter.
He cashed in an endowment for our utility room.
We each have a car each and a motorbike. he retires in 4 years, and me in 15. He will get a large lump sum and a good yearly pension in 4 years and I will in 15 years

It is amicable and he and I both want me to stay in our house and him to buy another house. ( as although it is amicable, we are splitting because of him).
We don't have children between us.

I would like to know whether just splitting the equity on the house is 50/50 fair? If not what should I get?
Also would the mortgage company let me take over the mortgage by myself ?

This is my first marriage and his second so I really have no clue.
We don't want to use solicitors as we need all the money we can get, but I don't want to be done over.
Would a free half hour appointment be sufficient and should I speak to a financial advisor to see if there is a more suitable mortgage etc ?

Please help!

Thanks

janb5

Hi,

It`s late and I guess a lot of people will have gone to bed.

As a divorcee, I`d suggest that you try and get some estimates for a solicitor. This is your future and you cannot afford to make mistakes about something that you dont know all the permutations.

The law has changed since my divorce but my advice would be to take up a few `free` sessions and get some idea if there is anyone that you could trust to deal with this for you. I went to three before I found somebody suitable!

I`m sure your husband has got very fine intentions but you need someone suitable and neutral to arrange matters for you. Talk this over with someone you trust to get their perspective - perhaps a family member.

Dont make any speedy...or irrevocable decisions just yet! I did get a very good piece of advice early on which was to get my own bank account quickly....and I did.

PM me if you want to talk.

Wishing you strength at this horrible time.

Jan

janb5

Just as a thought- you can get free legal advice via your Union( if you belong to one) I`ve also heard of a new book re divorce which has had good reports and maybe useful to look at?

amateur_saver

Thanks Jan,
I wa wondering whether I should ask him to get a separate bank account as we have an all in one account, or perhaps open up a new account and put 'extra in it'- as I said we are very amicable but I just don't want it to get nasty and then make a mistake by keeping the same account. The trouble is that we have to keep so much in there in order for it to offset the mortgage so if I don't pay my wages in, it will be me in trouble if/when I take over the mortgage.

Does anyone know what we should be entitled to?

janb5

Hi,

I`d definitely recommend getting your own account at the moment so it`s there for when you need it. Hopefully when I send this, other people will see and respond.

It may be civil and friendly now but remember- he wants out!

SO you need to protect yourself and get decent advice. Do you belong to a Union ( for the benefits that you could use?)

amateur_saver

He does want out and he says he still loves me, but because of what he has done we cannot stay together, so I am trying to keep as amicable as possible, even though it is all his fault.
I am seeing a mortgage advisor tomorrow to see what I can and cannot afford, so we might have to sell the house for us to both downsize and start again. I really don't want that as I have a lot of really good memories in there, and it's not the bricks and mortar, its the fact of why should i move if i didn't do anything wrong?

Anyone to help me please

amyloofoo

I think Jan's given you some really good advice. Before deciding how to proceed it's really important to get all the advice and support you can to ensure that what's started as an amicable process doesn't end up becoming otherwise. Sorry I can't provide more practical help, but I wish you the best of luck with your new life (and am sure more knowledgable people will be along shortly).

silvercar

Ring your mortgage lender and ask if they would allow a "transfer of equity" and take your ex's name off the mortgage. It will depend on the amount of equity in the property, your earnings, the size of the mortgage and your credit rating.