Advice Needed - income support

rogerblack

Em2k wrote: »

Are you quite sure about this? Because I have told my JC time and time again how stupid it is, to send someone with my condition all those miles away, and I've always been told that's just the way it is. =[

The medicals for both DLA, and ESA can be done in your own home.
You will need to have at least a doctors letter explaining the need for this.

Em2k

rogerblack wrote: »

The medicals for both DLA, and ESA can be done in your own home.
You will need to have at least a doctors letter explaining the need for this.

Thank you. I will look into this.

I quite like the fact though that I have the chance to get out of the benefits system altogether. Will I need to inform them of my change in circumstances, taking into account the benefit will be ended?

baza52

In the OP's defence, I have suffered from anxiety and panick attacks for about 12 years now.
When i was at my worst i couldnt even go out to post a letter or to the shop thats a few minutes walk.
I had all the same feelings as the OP and unless youve been there you cannot possibly understand it.

FBaby

Surely there was a first time you took your child to his new school and that must have been hard but you succumb that anxiety and now you can cope with it. Similarly meeting your new partner must have been a very anxious event. Going to hospital to give birth or to scans etc...yet you managed it. Can't you see why people are sceptical when you must have managed to cope with a few highly stressful events that suited you but state that there is no way you could cope with a similarly stressful one but one that you don't want to do. It is heard not to see it as selective agoraphobia. In any case as you would have learnt the best way to combat your fears is to face them and make the situation routine as you've done with school.

skintandscared_2

Em2k wrote: »

Panic attacks rule my life, and I feel forced to allow a new partner to move in with me. It's early days so I worry it won't work out but I feel it's my best option because it gets me off of benefits, and in turn I won't have to keep going for interviews.

But now I've decided that, it's opened a whole new world of questions. There will be about a week or 2 of no benefit for me until he can move in. I can cope with that, but I'm worried about council tax and housing benefit.

I have huge sympathy for your condition and it must be very disabling. The only thing that really worries me about your initial post is the words I've emboldened. Does this person know that they will basically become the sole provider for you and your children, but that you are feeling FORCED to let them?! Is this what you REALLY want?? If money was not a factor and you could support yourself, would you still want to live with this person?? I know what it's like to support someone (and their son, for a time) and I know that love means a lot more than money, but the way you have phrased this worries me a lot. This person deserves more than to be an escape-plan for dealing with life...

Em2k

FBaby wrote: »

Surely there was a first time you took your child to his new school and that must have been hard but you succumb that anxiety and now you can cope with it. Similarly meeting your new partner must have been a very anxious event. Going to hospital to give birth or to scans etc...yet you managed it. Can't you see why people are sceptical when you must have managed to cope with a few highly stressful events that suited you but state that there is no way you could cope with a similarly stressful one but one that you don't want to do. It is heard not to see it as selective agoraphobia. In any case as you would have learnt the best way to combat your fears is to face them and make the situation routine as you've done with school.

When I go to new situations I have a chaperone and I also make the persons involved aware of my situation, and aware that I may run off at any time.

My schoolruns are easy. I drive there, park at the gate, pick him up and go. His teachers are aware of my situation and as a result he is always 1st out, so I can leave.

Em2k

FBaby wrote: »

Surely there was a first time you took your child to his new school and that must have been hard but you succumb that anxiety and now you can cope with it. Similarly meeting your new partner must have been a very anxious event. Going to hospital to give birth or to scans etc...yet you managed it. Can't you see why people are sceptical when you must have managed to cope with a few highly stressful events that suited you but state that there is no way you could cope with a similarly stressful one but one that you don't want to do. It is heard not to see it as selective agoraphobia. In any case as you would have learnt the best way to combat your fears is to face them and make the situation routine as you've done with school.

Yep I totally understand, but I've said already, agoraphobia is so so complex. Sometimes, I can go to Tesco and be absolutely fine, sometimes it's the worst experience possible. It is so hit and miss, and according to my therapist that is totally normal. Also, whereas I understand sceptics, I also don't have to answer to them about how much of a failure I am, and how I shouldn't have children.

GlasweJen

Em2k wrote: »

Yep I totally understand, but I've said already, agoraphobia is so so complex. Sometimes, I can go to Tesco and be absolutely fine, sometimes it's the worst experience possible. It is so hit and miss, and according to my therapist that is totally normal. Also, whereas I understand sceptics, I also don't have to answer to them about how much of a failure I am, and how I shouldn't have children.

Where did anyone say you shouldn't have children?

I am trying to understand but even meeting your partner online doesn't make sense, surely it's more nerve wracking to go and meet a total stranger than it is to have a regular appointment? Your partner could have been an axe murderer or anything! Also unless you had all your dates in the house then I'm stumped.

princessdon

Did you not find your driving test and lessons very difficult then? Strangers in a car, stressful environment no where to park if on a main road, no idea where you are heading? How did u manage?

sulkisu

Em2k wrote: »

Hi.



Panic attacks rule my life, and I feel forced to allow a new partner to move in with me. It's early days so I worry it won't work out but I feel it's my best option because it gets me off of benefits, and in turn I won't have to keep going for interviews.

Please tell me that you are not serious.
A recipe for disaster, for everyone - you, him and your children.