Mobile phones, partners, not reading texts !!!!!!! Please advise

Sambucus_Nigra

tankgirl1 wrote: »

Long story - sorry!
OH knows a lady with a horse - a horse that I am smitten with, but said horse has to work in the Riding school 6/7 days a week. Horse doesn't belong to school - some sort of livery arrangement - don't know the details.
Said horse obv not happy - tries to bite when being tacked up
I love this horse, asked the owner casually about a loan a week ago - said if she ever thought about getting rid, let me know! She said no, she wants to spend more time with horse, but every time she turns up said horse is busy in lessons...... She's looking to take her outta the school to a private field come the back end.. Sept or so. Owner up there pretty much daily, but never rides out the girl I love - always rides her daughter who she always owns.
So FF to Sat am, I know OH has her number on his phone (as he has looked after her dogs before), I'm up at 5.30am for work at 7am -was thinking about it all - thought that perhaps the horse owner would agree to a short term loan until her field became available - would give the horse a break from the school, and I would pay for everything. So because OH was asleep, I got Mrs horse owners number from his phone and sent her a text........
OH was furious - Said I had broken his trust because I took the number from his phone without asking........just looking for opinions.....

The woman has already said no! It's not up to you to decide what she does with her own horses, and taking your OH's phone to get a number and to continue harassing her is well out of order.

This is not about your OH being possessive about his phone, it's a matter of principle. It's like going into your partner's work and taking confidential business contact information and using it yourself.

CH27

Oh dear! You are coming across as obsessive about this woman's horse.
Back off & apologise to her & your BF.

ellay864

Have to agree with the others...you're coming across as scary stalker. The fact the horse tries to bite when being tacked doesn't mean he's 'obv not happy' - it means he has an irritating habit that many horses. You've asked the woman about a loan - what part of 'no' are you not understanding?

tankgirl1

Thanks for all the replies.
In complete honesty I didn't realise there was a problem with my actions, which is why I posted this thread - to get opinions.
I'm very aware that I am not particularly gifted with social skills, and often don't realise I am making a huge mistake - I'm glad I posted this thread as it has shown me that I am wrong in this instance.

ikkle87

Have you ever thought about volunteering at a local stables on a weekend or something hun? That way you get to see horses, and spend time with them, albeit not with this particular horse.

Cat501

tankgirl1 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.
In complete honesty I didn't realise there was a problem with my actions, which is why I posted this thread - to get opinions.
I'm very aware that I am not particularly gifted with social skills, and often don't realise I am making a huge mistake - I'm glad I posted this thread as it has shown me that I am wrong in this instance.

Just wanted to say I REALLY admire you for that post

lostinrates

Also, consider there are lots of really nice horses looking for sharers atm too. We have two or three on my yard atm who are suer horses with pretty unlimited riding and weekend days both available to sharers and no one interested (or no one able who is interested, none of them are novice rides). And, in fact, that is an issue too. If someone nagged one of the owners for them i know it would put them off, and that the person would not fit in on our yard.

There are lots of horses i have liked a lot who were not mine...and while its hard its also tough. There are lots of horses out there who could be and might be equally or even better suited to you.

POPPYOSCAR

Cat501 wrote: »

Just wanted to say I REALLY admire you for that post

Yes, me too.

We all get things wrong at times but it is not always easy to admit to ourselves that we have.

Bangton

tankgirl1 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.
In complete honesty I didn't realise there was a problem with my actions, which is why I posted this thread - to get opinions.
I'm very aware that I am not particularly gifted with social skills, and often don't realise I am making a huge mistake - I'm glad I posted this thread as it has shown me that I am wrong in this instance.

Bless you

Everything sorted now? Or is he still upset? We all do stupid things x

tankgirl1

Bangton wrote: »

Bless you

Everything sorted now? Or is he still upset? We all do stupid things x

We've split up - serves me right I guess, but at least I've learnt something from it

Completely heartbroken