Divorced with kids

chirpchirp

There are lots of us about so I thought I would ask you all how you handle your kids birthdays. Do you both see them together or do you have separate time with the kids but both see them that day or something totally different?

RainbowDreamer

We usually have half the day each. So one of us has half the week before and the first half of the day with the kids, then switches. So that we can both spoil them.
Though this year both birthdays fall on "his" day and he is refusing to allow me to see the kids on their birthdays. So instead I will be treating the day that I see them (well the first day with me after their birthday) as their actualy birthday, if that makes sense?

I dont think it really matters much to the kids. Its more the parents that feel upset if it doesnt go the way they are used to I suppose.

mintymoneysaver

I've only been separated 3 months, but for my daughter's 15th birthday she was here in the morning to open presents off family and a few bits just off me, then after school her dad came round, gave her some bits off him, and then when I came in from work we gave her the joint main present off us. We then all went out for tea together. I ended up paying but that's a different story...

Katexx

My parents have been divorced since I was very young (3 or 4) and as far as I can recall I'd just spend my birthday with whoever I was meant to be with - I lived with my mom during the week and dad at weekends. Perhaps it was different when I was younger but definitely since 13 or so I'd usually be out with my friends on my birthday and just go back to whichever parents house I would've normally been at on the night! My parents were pretty friendly so if I had an actual birthday party they'd usually both be there.

I_wanna_live_for_free

Depends who they're with. We generally split the day so one has morning "birthday breakfast" and the other has "birthday dinner" as we do Christmas too.

We have done separate days but the children regarded it as "I saw Daddy on my birthday" and not "I had 2 birthdays one with Dad and one with Mum"

MandM90

Not divorced, but not together.

DD's dad, his girlfriend and us throw her a party together. Whoever usually has her that morning/night will have her as usual. I think it's nice for her to have all her family together rather than 'sharing' her time out.

Then again, there has never been any awkwardness or hard feelings and we get on well with each other, partners included. If we'd been through a messy divorce/hard break up it might have been different.

kylehp04

I think it depends, I have been divorced over a year now and since the divorce I get on a lot better with the ex.
So we could probably be ok at a birthday party together but the kids are more then happy to have 2 birthday celebrations (no surprise there), at the end of the day it just depends on circumstances and what everyone is comfortable doing.

tea_lover

My OH is 40 next week and this will be the first birthday since he was 4 that his parents are both going to. He's really excited, bless him.

Slinky_Malinky

I have been divorced dearly a decade since my son was a toddler and have always had a pretty much `open door` policy for his dad, at all times not just Christmas and birthdays. I have possibly shot myself in the foot a bit, in that this has very much reduced my own quality time with my son. I think my son has been happiest this way, and if he is happy then I am happy, but I realise not every ex couple would be able to do this.

For birthdays I have generally laid on a birthday tea at my house or if he has had a more formal party I have arranged it but his dad comes too.