I feel so bad, what do you think? be careful with me please

shopaholicjules

Hi
Up until today my house sale was going through, I was selling my house to one of the neighbours.
The thing is my ex from years ago is still on my mortgage and wants a small percentage of profit. Yesterday I have had two new valuations which he wanted and it has been valued at 9,000 more than I agreed with her, me and her agreed it some time ago so prices have risen and especially in this area which is not the best so still very affordable so cos of other houses being too much it is pushin gthem up for FTB in my area.
I have spoken to her, she really isn't happy, can't afford the extra etc. I understand how she feels and feel really bad, so much so that I am sat here writing with pains in my chest.
I am going to give her £400 towards anything she has had to pay. Her family own a few houses on the street, I sadi they are going to hate me, she said only for a while.
What is anyones thoughts on this as I am really beating myself up about it, am I right to?
BTW the house was only £64,000, now valued at 74-75,000 and I said I can now take 72,000

Thanks
Jules

Norroy

First question is how far are you moving ? If the answer is in miles then there is no problem. You simply sell your house to the highest bidder, if this woman really wants it she will have to pay the going rate.

You say her family owns several properties, if this is the case then they will realise that business is business and that money talks.

Bottom line is, why on earth should you effectively give a casual aquaintance £10,000 of your money ?

Be strong, stand tall and think of the money.

shopaholicjules

Thanks for that, as yet I haven't found a house but even though I'm not planning going more than a few miles I doubt I would see them.
The girl lives with her parents, brother and sisters and next door dads brother and his family live there, so each time I go out of the house I see someone.
I don't blame her for makig me feel bad, I had agreed £64,000 with her.
I hoped by offering some money towards what she has paid out soften the blow a little but that definately has not worked.
I expect that once it goes on the market I will have it sold in 4-6 weeks but its the time to wait for that and completion.

Norroy

In that case I would tell them that as prices have gone up so much, you will need the extra £10,000 to be able to afford a new house to live in yourself.

Believe me if the roles were reversed I bet they wouldn't sell at the lower price.

£10,000 for a few weeks of tutting and cold stares, sounds like an OK deal to me.

Tiger_greeneyes

If the house had declined in value since you agreed the figure, would your ex accept less?

Has she been paying towards the mortgage/upkeep all this time, or did she stop paying when she moved out?

I'd say she should technically be entitled to half the profit up until the point she stopped paying the mortgage.

However, if we're looking at this legally instead of sensibly or morally - I have a feeling she could push for half of the profit as she's an equal party on the mortgage (assuming there's no contract of any sort in place).

brasso

"Do as you would be done by."

So. How would you feel in her position?

I simply think people should honour their agreements. Property prices have been rising for years now. Whenever you may have sold, the property would be (according to the agents) worth more at the end of the transaction than at the beginning.

The other thing I'd remind you of is that estate agents are full of bullsh1t.

shopaholicjules

Don't know if the ex would have accepted less if they had declined. Quite a few years back the house was losing money and I went to him and said about him paying half the debt which he refused to do.
He hasn't paid a penny since he left which is nearly twelve years ago, I know I should have taken his name off the mortgage then (you live and learn and haven't I just).
When I lived with him, I paid for just about everything, he was on a very low wage and this was eaten up by his car payments, insurance etc.

Brasso
Don't disagree with your do as you would be done by but I cannot afford to take the loss and also give my ex money.
But point taken, believe me I feel awful.
She has pulled out today which I understand so its back to the drawing board.

itsakidsworld

Instead of paying her any money at the moment, why dont you pay to have a professional valuation carried out on the house?

To be fair, you have dug a hole for yourself here as you already know you have acted in haste. But we all do it, I have done it many times and felt a total prat when I have had to eat my words and I have been in business many years!!! I suppose you really need constructive opinions of what would people do in your position?

Well, if it was me I would write a letter through my solicitor and explain that although you had agreed a price in principle, you had not taken into account the situation regarding your ex. Explain that he has demanded new valuations and that you have been advised by your solicitor that you have a legal obligation to comply with this request. Tell them that this has put you in a situation you did not expect and so all previous offers have to be placed on hold at this present time. Explain that an estate agents valuation cannot be used as an actual market valuation( only a guide) and so again under the advice of your solicitor, you have instructed a professional valuation to be undertaken and once this valuation has reached you, you will supply a copy to them and offer them first refusal on whatever the price is.

I may be long winded but a) it saves face for you, b) by involving a solicitor you have tried to act in a manner which is correct under the circumstances and c) should they not wish to proceed you have at least given them first refusal on the new price.

The very best of luck.

shopaholicjules

Thanks itsakidsworld
Your right, at the moment, I feel like jumping in the hole.
I have wrote to her and explained the situation in a letter and that led to her coming over which I had said for her to do to discuss it.
I offered her the £400 and also said that the ex has said he would accept 72,000 which would leave me after paying him £800 extra on top of what i was originally selling it to her for.
I have had a couple of valuations and have showed her these.
She has now said she doesn't want to buy. Hopefully I will feel a bit better tomorrow having slept on it, that is until I see her or one of the family.
I will get it on the market and see what happens.
Thanks

itsakidsworld

Ok, well done anyway for getting this far. If she has pulled out then at worst for you its a lesson learnt. At least you will be prepared and make sure it does not happen again.

Always use negatives to your advantage, no matter how bad. Remember we are in a world of learning constantly and that relates to everything we do, good and bad!!

Forget about it now, put it in a little bubble and send the memory on its way, have a good nights sleep and when you leave your house tomorrow walk with your head held high and with confidence knowing that recently you have realised what a strong, kind and caring person you are.

Have a nice day tomorrow.

Doozergirl

Thise isn't the first time you've talked about this and I know it's eating you but I can really see how difficult things will be for you to move on when your ex takes half the 'profit' you've made.

The fact that this girl's family own lots of houses really does mean that they understand the business nature of the transaction and I think they knew they were getting a good price to start with. I really don't think it's a case of 'can't afford', I think it's a case of 'don't want to'.

If you own enough property, £8000 is negligable.

I know you don't feel happy doing it, but I agree that you are a good person. Offering her out of pocket expenses is something that not many people at all would do.