Plans for 85 yr old mother

My mother, who is 85, wants me to accompany her to her solicitor's to make sure that everything is set up as it should be for her future and for after she dies. She has an 'everyday' bank account and a 'nursing home' savings account. Plenty to live on.

She has her own house, car, teeth and faculties (more than can be said for me, her daughter!!) and has a will and power of attorney already sorted out - though I think she wants to revisit these to be sure they're up to date. She wants to make a living will which is one thing she will ask about, but I wondered what else she should be checking on?

I'm a bit worried that the solicitor will suggest various things that she doesn't really need (years on this site makes me sceptical about everything!!) but also want to make sure she has everything in place so she can get on enjoying life without having to worry about anything legal or financial.

Can anyone advise me about things I should be sure she asks about? We'll go with a list if necessary.

Thanks very much.

Comments

  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,544
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    Eliza wrote: »
    I'm a bit worried that the solicitor will suggest various things that she doesn't really need .

    See if your mother will agree not to make any decisions about new things on the day - make a list of any suggestions and give yourselves time to research them and discuss them before going back for another appointment if she wants to go ahead with anything.
  • Eliza_2
    Eliza_2 Posts: 1,320
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    Thank you very much - an excellent piece of advice.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,809
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    What sort of PofA does she have, the old or the new? If she has the old, then she will probably be advised to do both sorts of new, so taking a look at that beforehand could be useful.

    She also might want to consider a funeral plan, perhaps not so much for the prepayment aspect if there won't be problems paying for it, but for the knowledge that her wishes are known. Even if she doesn't want to pay for one now, then at least discussing it and writing down her preferences could be helpful. This may be something to do outside the solicitor's appointment, but my parents' wills state(d) that they wished to be cremated.
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  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,809
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    BTW, you and your mother should be aware that even if you accompany your mother, at least part of the interview should be just with her, AFAIK. This enables the solicitor to check that these your mother's plans, rather than your plans for her. It's clear from reading your post that that's the case (not always so!), so please don't think I'm suggesting anything untoward!
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  • Eliza_2
    Eliza_2 Posts: 1,320
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    Thanks Sue. She has a little book that sits on the piano with all her funeral wishes in, right down to which hymns at which point. It also has details of her accounts, insurances and so on.

    That's good advice again about seeing the solicitor alone, though he knows her well having always been the family solicitor - he might be older than her even, she lives in a town full of oldies!!! I will actually suggest that she might want to do that anyway especially as I have a brother and sister.

    I will look at the POA thing though, it was a long time ago that she did it.
  • monkeyspanner
    monkeyspanner Posts: 2,124 Forumite
    edited 17 June 2012 at 10:41AM
    Probably an old style POA so the medical and care aspects will not be covered. Normally NHS will take account of relatives wishes so an old style will suffice. The solicitor may suggest she updates her POA to a new style. If this is the case she could consider multiple people to look after her affairs but in this case be careful how it is written as the death of one may invalidate the POA. Also this can cause confusion and disagreements between relatives. Some sort of succession might be preferable. Also it may be worth checking if the living will would take precedent over the wishes of the attorney.

    As Sue says the solicitor will wish to see her on his own to determine if she is acting on her own initiative and ensure she is capable of making a decision.

    She sounds a very capable and thoughtful person.
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