Dealing with difficult co-worker

doodoot

Me?

At the next round of comments/bullying I'd be saying to him:

"Erm...look, it's obvious that you have some mental health problems that cause you to revert to Primary school playground behaviour, so I'll ignore that remark."

Smile sweetly, shake your head and carry on.

Alternatively you can tell him to go screw himself.

Or even say "just what IS your problem, mate? Didn't you get any last night?".

Or perhaps raise your concerns with your manager and lodge an official complaint?

ktothema

Ever seen the movie Wanted? I always found myself imagining the scene with the keyboard when my ex boss was going off on one. Kept me quite sane for a while!

Though I think other people here have given far more helpful advice!

TrickyWicky

To be honest, half the time its best just to have it out with the person and clear the air rather than sneaking around and trying to wind each other up.

Step outside, yell at each other, clear the air, ignore each other for a few weeks and then see what happens. If that doesn't work then fight fire with fire but don't do anything that could get you the sack. You mention a scenarion where this person will take work from you in front of the boss.. So next time you're busy with tons to do, go and donate some of it to them saying "I know you'd like to help me out to keep the boss sweet, here's some extra work for you - I'll be sure to let the boss know ". That kinda thing - enough to persuade them that you'll make their life just as miserable as they're making yours.

gibson123

I have a colleague just like this, she spent a lot of time doing me a lot of damage and trying to bring me down. She was always interfering in conversations that were none of her business as well, and trying to out smart me, if we were discussing some ideas as a team and a colleague had a different opinion from me , she would wade in and make it a big deal. So say I made a suggestion and a colleague said something like "not sure I would do it like that", she would come in all aggressive and turn it into an argument rather than a discussion / differing opinion.

Anyway I have a few techniques and she has moved on to some-one else.

if she butts into a conversation, I turn my back on her and take my other colleagues elbow and steer them away from her.

If she tries to interfere when I am showing someone how to do something, I put myself in her way and say, thank you, if we need you we will ask.

if she makes a comment about me I say.. I hope you are not talking about me? or if it is under her breath i say ... Sorry your mumbling, can you repeat that please in a loud voice.

it is all about being assertive.

ffacoffipawb

Elvisia wrote: »

I like the idea of taking out a notebook and writing down what he said, and if you didn't quite hear it to ask him to repeat. I suspect he's trying to wear you down, you often find that once bullies are told what they're doing has no effect they stop. I had this problem, and I know how stressful it can be. I would also report it to a line manager, so they know there's an issue, and maybe they might have a 'chat' with him.

A mini digital recorder would be better proof and the knob may be unaware of it, unlike a notebook.

Sambucus_Nigra

ffacoffipawb wrote: »

A mini digital recorder would be better proof and the knob may be unaware of it, unlike a notebook.

The point is to make the knob be aware of it and to tell them that you have been advised to take detailed notes. Otherwise the practice is pointless. They have to think that people are watching him and that advice on the situation has been sought.

Pupnik

He sounds like a right wally, I work with someone who does some similar things (not as bad though) and it drives me up the wall, he is someone who builds himself up by knocking other people down which is not on.

I would be curious to know how other people feel about him, in my experience people do notice this kind of behaviour.

Annisele

I think it's unlikely that he's actually making you look bad.

We had a "Fred" in our office (to use Savvy_Sue's terminology). I smiled when I overheard a conversation along the lines of "I wasn't sure whether NewGuy was going to fit in, but Fred thinks he's an idiot - so he'll probably get along just fine".