Benefits of marriage

Doozergirl

I've never felt so profoundly loved as I did on my wedding day. Men aren't always the best at expressing how they feel (though he does have his moments!) and life just gets in the way of romance sometimes.

I was so sure that I loved him enough to commit my life to him that it was easy but I could not get through my vows in one piece because I really understood how solemn they were and I could see mirrored back in his face when he read his, exactly how much I mean to him. Not only that, but how public our personal declarations were and how many members of our friends and family cared enough for us that they were also moved to tears. I will, quite simply, carry those memory with me forever because they make me particularly thankful for everything that I have

There is an additional something about the ceremony and the declaration you make that is just as important as loving each other constantly and the benefits you receive.

Morglin

We did our own readings as well, and I was totally overwhelmed with his, as he'd written them himself.

Marriage, it's true, doesn't guarantee a lifetime together (we left our ex's after 30+ years), but it just put a seal on it all.

And, this one is for life........;)

Lin

shelovestobuystuff

OP You said in your post "I cant really see the point of marriage(unless for religious reasons)"
More and more people these days consider themselves to have no religion, I am one of them, but I am a spiritual person.My partner on the other hand is an athiest.I would love to get married in a non-religious ceremony, I dont much fancy a big white dress either.I dont know whether you are religious or not, but it may be worth considering a non-religious ceremony or some sort of alternative ceremony.The possibilities are growing all the time as society slowly adapts its rules and sets new precedents to suit the changing needs and wants of the population.There are more non-church wedding venues added to the approved list all the time.You could even find a minister willing to carry out a non-religious ceremony in a beautiful old church building.
Anyway,might be something else to think about.
It looks like you have had some great advice so far about the financial side of things too.I would suggest that legal documentation of your status in the relationship, whether through marriage or just visiting a lawyer to check what they can do for you both,would be of great use especially as there is an ex.
This is something I have to sort out in my family too as I have been with my partner for 16 years, we have 2 kids and if something should happen to him his company pension and our home would automatically go to his parents.It is a worrying situation to be in even though its unlikely to happen in the near future.BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY THOUGH.

angeldeelite

shelovestobuystuff wrote: »

It is a worrying situation to be in even though its unlikely to happen in the near future.

I bet that's what my mum thought too....

don't mean to worry you but sort something out asap. i wouldn't want any family to go through what mine went (and is still going) through.

shelovestobuystuff

angeldeelite wrote: »

I bet that's what my mum thought too....

don't mean to worry you but sort something out asap. i wouldn't want any family to go through what mine went (and is still going) through.

I know, I wish I could take my own advice and get it sorted but there always seems to be something more important to sort out.We dont even have wills because these can be easily contested by other relatives anyway if you are not married.Too many c.c. debts to even think about getting married in the near future but I dont suppose a trip to the lawyers would cost too much.Difficult to get advice on something like this here through postings as marital/co-habitation laws are different in England and Scotland too.

Justie

shelovestobuystuff wrote: »

I know, I wish I could take my own advice and get it sorted but there always seems to be something more important to sort out.We dont even have wills because these can be easily contested by other relatives anyway if you are not married.

Really? Are you sure? My understanding was that a will was binding and all the more important if you weren't married.

Morglin

Wills are binding (although angry relatives can contest it).

Nominated NOK's are helpful but no one actually has to abide by it.

The DWP make no provision for "common law" whatesoever.

Lin

BettyDebt

Many people dont believe in marriage and some have an easy come easy go notion about it all. Likewise for long term relationships, its the 'get out easy clause'.

However to be married and have a successful marriage I really feel you have to both believe in the importance of marriage and what that means to you. Benefits or not if you value that importance in your relationship/ marriage/ life one wouldnt be swayed with numbers/ figures or otherwise.

pboae

I am finding it really interesting to see all the different views on here.

BettyDebt wrote: »

However to be married and have a successful marriage I really feel you have to both believe in the importance of marriage and what that means to you.

You could argue the opposite of that though too, if it's only belief in the institution of marriage which is holding people together, then they must have a pretty poor realtionship. I would only want to be with someone because I wanted to be with them, and not just because I feel I have an obligation through marriage.

I feel our marriage is fairly irrelevant to our actual relationship. It doesn't define anything about us or how we are together. I don't regret being married, but I am 100% sure we would still be together whether we had married or not.

I can understand why people feel a spiritual need for marriage, but that doesn't apply to us. I've never felt any need to have our relationship validated, acknowledged or approved by anyone else, whether friends, family or a God. Our commitment to each other was there long before we married, and marriage didn't change that. So that only really leaves the practical stuff as a reason to marry. We've managed 16 years so far, so I think we are probably doing something right.

inkie

There are more non-church wedding venues added to the approved list all the time.You could even find a minister willing to carry out a non-religious ceremony in a beautiful old church

[/QUOTE

Doubt that very much. A minister is about God's business, and therefore I would not perform a non-religious wedding, and certainly not in a church!