Would You Have Said Anything

tesuhoha

I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 the other day. It was about opticians and the conditions they can spot by looking into the eyes. One of the things they said was that if you have a white ring around the iris you should get your cholesterol checked out.

Now I have been thinking about this all week because the last time I saw my brother he had a white ring round his iris. I don't see him all that often so it was a year ago. I have been wondering if I should say anything about it because I don't want to upset him in any way but on the other hand if he had a stroke or something I would never forgive myself. My dad had a stroke when he was about 70. My brother is 60.

I really don't know if he is even aware he has this but my husband noticed it too. He is overweight, not massively obese but definitely overweight. Therefore, this evening I sent him an email and suggested he got his cholesterol checked out. I have no idea what his reaction will be. Have I done the right thing or am I being intrusive?

nickyhutch

I think a phone call might have been better, but yes, of course you have. it's your brother, and you care about him. I'm assuming you've explained why you've suggested it?

tesuhoha

nickyhutch wrote: »

I think a phone call might have been better, but yes, of course you have. it's your brother, and you care about him. I'm assuming you've explained why you've suggested it?

I wanted to keep it casual and not make it a big thing. Yes I told him about the programme.

meritaten

no-one can predict how people will react hun - he may ignore your email or he may get down the GPs. I would actually have phoned him - its easier to guage a reaction when speaking to a person. Give it a couple of days then follow up with a phone call.

shellsuit

I'd mention it to him, best interested at heart and all that.

High cholesterol doesn't just occur in overweight people though, my Dad has it and has never been overweight in his life. He doesn't have a white ring around his iris, but knew he had it when he got a patch near his eye (like a fat skin tag kind of thing).

He might not listen to you, but if you tell him, at least you won't feel guilty if he does happen to have it and something happens to him.

EDIT, Sorry, missed that you'd emailed and told him. Hopefully he will just take it that it's his sis looking out for him. I wouldn't have emailed though, I would have rang and mentioned it, but then again, he might wonder why you have never mentioned it to him when you've seen him (and noticed it).

I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way

pink68

I think you did the right thing. it's what I would have done. If he takes umbridge just apologise and dont let it become an issue between you.

Brighton_belle

I think emailing is fine. It doesn't soundlike you are 'that' close if you haven't seen him for a year. I'm not very comfortable with phone chit chat, so I would have found the phone a difficult way to mention something 'casually' - I normally only use the phone for direct practical exchange of information/arrangement making.

If Email is your usual style of comunicating, that sounds entirely the natural way to get in touch. And yes I think it was worth mentioning: I can't see there is anything to get offended about.

antw23uk

I think your being too sensitive. If he has got to 60 and hasnt been told he has a cholesterol issue then he is doing pretty good, especially for an overweight guy.
You did the right thing but try and see him more often. I dont know your situation or relationship with him but family is family and you should chat as much as possible

If he takes offence do the sister thing and tell him to get a grip, your only doing your job as a sister and looking out for him

And with that bit of advice im off to phone my sister AND my brother for a quick catch up :T

nedmundo

TBF - the link between 'Arcus' and high cholesterol isn't the strongest going. Xanthelasma ( yellow spots in the skin around the eyes) are a much better indication.

maman

I think that sending an email telling baout the programme was a sensible, low-key way of approaching it.

Cholesterol problems often have nothing to do with diet but are genetic so, given your family history, you're definitely doing the right thing.

Hopefully, he'll act on your advice and get himself checked.