A query on benefits for a family with a disabled child.

kingfisherblue

My son is another child whose nappy allowance is four for every 24 hours.

Wattdallas, regarding the wheelchair and other equipment for your daughter - have you considered applying for a grant if it takes too long? I can give you details of some charities who might be able to help if you want to pm me with a few details.

kingfisherblue

I've just realised that there is another piece of information for the OP and anybody else with a disabled relative to consider. If there has to be an additional bathroom, kitchen or other room specifically for the needs of a disabled person (such as a therapy room), council tax can be reduced by one band.

If you already get council tax benefit, the reduction is made before any benefit is applied.

I mentioned in an earlier post about wetrooms - this can trigger the allowance. Each year I complete a declaration that my son is still disabled and still living in our home.

wattdallas

kingfisherblue wrote: »

My son is another child whose nappy allowance is four for every 24 hours.

Wattdallas, regarding the wheelchair and other equipment for your daughter - have you considered applying for a grant if it takes too long? I can give you details of some charities who might be able to help if you want to pm me with a few details.

She has it now , thankyou i might take you up on that offer kingfisherblue because we all know what wheelchair services are like

Thankyou anyways

kingfisherblue

Glad to hear your daughter has her chair, but the offer is still there if you ever need any other equipment. Just pm me x

wattdallas

Soapn wrote: »

that puts me out then, 3 beds, 2 kids still at home. Bet that puts out lots of potential fosterers:(

Soapn to be honest ,with your thoughts especially that children with severedisabilies should be grateful ,idoubt youd make it past the introduction

MrsE_2

Mark31 wrote: »

A quick one regarding the strains of marriage, we are very strong together and our strain is not having enough time together, any time out of school hours is taken up. Our only viable time together is for a few hours a day during school time. A couple of hours before we both need to make preparations for the return of our son. Preparing dinner, housekeeping duties and my wife or myself catching up with sleep from a potentially difficult previous night would also need to be factored into the school hours. Not much time together but a little.!

My grandson is 11 months & my daughter has recently gone back to work full time. She's doing compressed hours to facilitate child care. So she does 4 very long days to do 5 days work in 4 days.

She has Fri, Sat & Sun off to care for her son. Her partner works in sales & has his 2 days off during the week. They never share a day off together.

When they get in at 6.30-7pm they have all that stuff to do that you would like to get done during the day.

They don't consider raising their family on benefits so they can have "quality couple time"..........

shegirl

People need to stop comparing life with 'normal' children to life with disabled children because it really is a different kettle of fish.It's not just about time and having to do normal household things either-yes both have to do and consider them but with a disabled child it can be so much harder and often impossible.

Op,rather than giving up your job,although I completely understand why you would consider it,get a carers assessment done.See what help you can get and work with it.If you gave up your job there would likely be a big strain put upon your relationship.Get some help so your wife can have a break,you may be able to get it in a way that gives you two time together aswell.Kingfisher has given some great advice.What help you get depends on various things including what is available.

Ignore those who compare to life with 'normal' children,you know life is very different.You do need to think about trying ways to have time with your wife too,although not working isn't the right way.

I'm amused that some don't understand and even more amused that some see school transport as a 'benefit'!!!

Contact social services for a carers assessment and see what you can get,it may not be much but every little helps!I get one night a overnight respite every week and two 6 hour day respite sessions during school holidays.Ds is 13 now and only in school 2 1/2 hours where he has his own room,curriculum and is on 2:1 care,support and teaching.So,it's not a huge amount of help especially given I'm on my own and have literally only seen any of my friends a whopping total of 6 times in 12 months,but hey,no different from having a 'normal' child right?LMAO well,some clearly seem to think that.They have no idea of all the 'little' things in life thy take for granted.

Take care of your relationship,it's important and disability puts a huge strain on it.Doesn't take a genius to figure out why my sons dad cheated and went off with someone with no ties going out all the time (doing childish things in my opinion) then decided not to see his son as he 'can't put him first' (couldn't give up time when he could be off messing around at weekends which was the basis of his new relationship) and I know I'll now have to remain single,I'm only 30 lol.So take care of it and find a way to have that time together while also having a break which will be great for you and for your son.

kj*daisy

MrsE wrote: »

My grandson is 11 months & my daughter has recently gone back to work full time. She's doing compressed hours to facilitate child care. So she does 4 very long days to do 5 days work in 4 days.

She has Fri, Sat & Sun off to care for her son. Her partner works in sales & has his 2 days off during the week. They never share a day off together.

When they get in at 6.30-7pm they have all that stuff to do that you would like to get done during the day.

They don't consider raising their family on benefits so they can have "quality couple time"..........

Is your grandson severely disabled? If he isn't and will grow and develop as expected then you really can't compare the situation. This thread has really shown me the lack of empathy a lot of people have for other peoples situations - thinking that a bit extra benefit money is adequate recompense for having a severely disabled child - and once you have those extra pounds in your pocket - you should consider yourself in the same situation emotionally as a family with non disabled children!

But I still think the OP should hang on to his job. This government doesn't give a monkeys about the ill and vulnerable and I think things are going to get a lot worse:(

Shegirl - you posted while I was typing and said exactly what I was trying to say. But I don't have a disabled child. I honestly can't see how people can think like that - but they clearly do!

princessdon

May be I am biased but I didn't read that post a "healthy" V "non healthy" child - I don't like the word normal personally. I read it as a comment regarding family time together. It is a valid comment that many families don't have time for each other (especially if they both work). This is something that affects many families in the UK, and it is a direct comparison "at that point in time". Yes in a few years things will be better for that ladies family and not for OP, but their reality at present is valid.

princessdon

wattdallas wrote: »

OMG Your friend whom has triplets will get to have a full nights sleep in time when her "normal" children thrive.

Mark i so sympathise with your predicament - been there.

Do what is best for you and your child,some disabilies require 2 carers ,i know my daughter does .

People cannot understand unless they are going through it themselves:)

Good luck

Just so you don't look overly silly I quoted your own post. My FRIEND has triplets, I would still be traumatised off having that many children and be so busy looking after triplets I wouldn't be able to spend time on here if I was caring that much!

So come on - seeing as I am a TROLL and so dispicable please provide your evidence, I'd really like to see it.