Tracking down my father...

jonrockb

Hi, long time lurker on here - just could do with some advice. If it's in the wrong place - please move.. I wasn't sure.

Recently had a letter from the CSA informing me my father has died (strange in itself - I'm 33 now) - now this is the first I've heard of this - as I lost contact with him when I was 19 (he moved without telling us)

He died back in November - Being slightly clueless on this kind of thing - I'm just trying to get ideas on how to find where he's buried as I'd like to say goodbye.

I've been told there are arrears on the CSA (can't see how) but I'm not really worried about any money from his estate - I'd just like to visit his grave. I'm not sure why I wasn't informed by the rest of his family (I have a half sister who I haven't seen for the same length of time) but that's by the by.

McKneff

I find it difficult to understand why the CSA would contact you to inform you of the death of your father.

Cant see how there would be arrears if he left when you were 19, he probably wasnt liable to pay any.

If your father had family, why dont you contact them to see where he is buried. If you dont know where they are, then they may not know where you are either so would have difficulty in informing you.

Mojisola

McKneff wrote: »

If your father had family, why dont you contact them to see where he is buried. If you dont know where they are, then they may not know where you are either so would have difficulty in informing you.

I would start with any family who might know. If that's not possible, buy a death certificate - https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/ - and phone around the undertakers in the area where he died.

sassyblue

jonrockb wrote: »

Recently had a letter from the CSA informing me my father has died (strange in itself - I'm 33 now) - now this is the first I've heard of this - as I lost contact with him when I was 19 (he moved without telling us)

Won't the CSA tell you what last address they had for him? Maybe you could trace the funeral directors if he lived in a rural area and they could give you more info. As others have suggested can you trace any living relatives?

jonrockb

Sorry - may have explained it wrongly. He moved just before I was 19. My parents separated when I was about 1. He came into my life for a brief time at about 17/18. As I said - I'm not worried about claiming any money - and can't see how there is arrears anyway.

No way of contacting the family- a slight idea of where he was living (Hastings ish).

I'll have a look at Mojisola's suggestion - sounds like a good idea. Will help me narrow it down at least.

rubytuesday

Mojisola's suggestion is definitely the best one.

I hadn't seen my father from the age of three or four but had his death certificate and that had the address he was at at the time of his death.

I was contacted by a half sister recently and coincidently she now lives in the area he was in at the time of his death.

She contacted the local crematorium and was able to find his unmarked grave and has now laid flowers etc.

I'm not particularly interested in doing that myself.