Horrified at my DH's "little treats" !!

dandy-candy

I do the general food shopping for the household, but my DH is forever coming home with "little treats" from the M&S near where he works. This could be naughty puddings for us all (5 in the family), or extras for dinner like chicken wings, garlic mushrooms etc.
Lately it has become a nearly daily occurence (even tho I tell him not to) so last week I told him to give me his receipts each time. I totted it up yesterday - £130!!!! I'm horrified! He had come back with 2 bags worth of "nibbly-bits" for the barbeque on Saturday which alone came to £45:eek:

He is banned from any treat buying this week, but it really shows how those little odds and ends add up!

ginnyknit

Its very nice of him to treat you all like that and being a man you need to tread carefully and not dent his ego. Maybe if you gently point out how much he is spending and what one big thing you could buy with all that cash - like a special trip that he would love.

dandy-candy

ginnyknit wrote: »

Its very nice of him to treat you all like that and being a man you need to tread carefully and not dent his ego. Maybe if you gently point out how much he is spending and what one big thing you could buy with all that cash - like a special trip that he would love.

What a wonderful idea - I wish I could thank you more than once!
The money would be much better spent on a fun day out with the kids, and it would keep our waist lines trimmer too! :T

Buckslad_2

dandy-candy wrote: »

I do the general food shopping for the household, but my DH is forever coming home with "little treats" from the M&S near where he works. This could be naughty puddings for us all (5 in the family), or extras for dinner like chicken wings, garlic mushrooms etc.
Lately it has become a nearly daily occurence (even tho I tell him not to) so last week I told him to give me his receipts each time. I totted it up yesterday - £130!!!! I'm horrified! He had come back with 2 bags worth of "nibbly-bits" for the barbeque on Saturday which alone came to £45:eek:

He is banned from any treat buying this week, but it really shows how those little odds and ends add up!

I have one of them at home ...... He drives me insane :rotfl:

sonastin

I'd go the other way. When he brings a "treat" home, make a show of putting whatever you were having (back) in the freezer. Act all hurt that the meal you had planned isn't good enough. Take it is a personal affront to your catering skills that he feels the need to supplement it with extras. Train him to talk to you first about whether his "additions" will compliment what you're making or just be unnecessary.

Or alternatively, keep putting his extras in the freezer to be added to the stockpile. If he doesn't get to enjoy it there and then, he might stop "treating" himself.

bargainbetty

I had my old flatmate over for dinner last night. I had planned a very simple ragu with pasta, and he insisted on cooking a second dish to go with it. He uses every pan in the cupboard (I was going to use one pot for ragu, one for pasta, he starts cooking and we've got an extra saucepan, four bowls and a frying pan to wash up...)

I love his cooking, but what was wrong with Spag Bol? Why did we need a pasta side with garlic, chilli and pine nuts? Then again, I made two lasagnes with the leftover ragu.

Farway

sonastin wrote: »

I'd go the other way. When he brings a "treat" home, make a show of putting whatever you were having (back) in the freezer. Act all hurt that the meal you had planned isn't good enough. Take it is a personal affront to your catering skills that he feels the need to supplement it with extras. Train him to talk to you first about whether his "additions" will compliment what you're making or just be unnecessary.

Or alternatively, keep putting his extras in the freezer to be added to the stockpile. If he doesn't get to enjoy it there and then, he might stop "treating" himself.

"Act all hurt that the meal you had planned isn't good enough"

Oh no, not the silent "if you do not know treatment"

If I were him, and you treated me like this I would take it as personal affront about my "hunter gathering skills" and I would be very annoyed at you "training me" Bl00dy cheek. Get back to your ironing

Look upon it as a treat, he believes he is helping, would you rather he got home, put on the telly and waited for his dinner, or just went in the pub instead?

PS I am a bloke BTW, thought you may like it from a male perspective

meanmarie

Where does he get the money he spends on these treats? If it is out of his allowance I would let him at it...OH does this constantly and I never say anything. If, on the other hand, he is either expecting a refund from your budget or its coming out of your joint account, I would sit him down and go through the budget with him, letting him know the really nice things that could be got for the money.

Marie

BettiePage

Farway wrote: »

"Act all hurt that the meal you had planned isn't good enough"

Oh no, not the silent "if you do not know treatment"

If I were him, and you treated me like this I would take it as personal affront about my "hunter gathering skills" and I would be very annoyed at you "training me" Bl00dy cheek. Get back to your ironing

Look upon it as a treat, he believes he is helping, would you rather he got home, put on the telly and waited for his dinner, or just went in the pub instead?

PS I am a bloke BTW, thought you may like it from a male perspective

I know you were being slightly tongue in cheek, but I agree. There is a definite sexist feel to this thread.

OP, I think the saving for one big day out/ treat is a good idea.

meritaten

aww bless - a man who actually thinks to shop for 'treats' for his family. I couldnt be too hard on such a nice guy.

every day is tooo much though! can he not limit himself to once a week? after all - it stops being a 'treat' if indulged in every day doesnt it?

its a good idea to have a TREATS saving jar instead - if he wants to pop in a few quid every day, then its surprising how quickly that will mount up - in a few months that would even fund a holiday or games console for the whole family to enjoy.

TIP - beg a clear large Sweety jar from a local shop - Label it TREATS and put in a prominent place - you may well find everyone contributes to watch it grow and grow!

freyasmum

sonastin wrote: »

I'd go the other way. When he brings a "treat" home, make a show of putting whatever you were having (back) in the freezer. Act all hurt that the meal you had planned isn't good enough. Take it is a personal affront to your catering skills that he feels the need to supplement it with extras. Train him to talk to you first about whether his "additions" will compliment what you're making or just be unnecessary.

Or alternatively, keep putting his extras in the freezer to be added to the stockpile. If he doesn't get to enjoy it there and then, he might stop "treating" himself.

Woah, woah, woah :eek: Firstly, he's not treating himself - he's treating the whole family.

Yes, he's spent quite a bit of money but it's not like he was doing it to be a horrid person, rather the opposite. He probably doesn't realise how much he's spent or even that he'd probably be better spending it elsewhere - just that he was trying to make sure you all had nice things. And I find that quite sweet, bless him

If it's money that you can't afford, then sit him down and gently remind him that it's quite a bit that could've gone elsewhere (like repayments, or taking a holiday together) but please don't just make him feel like a downright loser for trying to be nice!

Farway wrote: »

"Act all hurt that the meal you had planned isn't good enough"

Oh no, not the silent "if you do not know treatment"

If I were him, and you treated me like this I would take it as personal affront about my "hunter gathering skills" and I would be very annoyed at you "training me" Bl00dy cheek. Get back to your ironing

Look upon it as a treat, he believes he is helping, would you rather he got home, put on the telly and waited for his dinner, or just went in the pub instead?

PS I am a bloke BTW, thought you may like it from a male perspective

I'm (obviously) not a bloke, and I agree with you!

I'd love to have a man treat me to nice like things, just cos he wanted to