worried about my teenage daughter

susieanne

I just cant help but worry about my teenage daughter , she always seems to be falling out with someone . When she was in her first year of high school right from day one she seemed really popular with both the girls & boys but i did notice she seemed to be drifting from one group of girls to another but i thought this is just normal behaviour , high school is a new experience and shes just trying to find a group of girls or a paticular friend that she feels that she has things in common with but every friendship she makes she always seems to fall out with that person then move on to someone else . This problem is also happenening with boyfriends except the boy always finishes with her , her releshionships with boys seems to go really well for a couple of weeks then next thing shes upset the boys finished with her . Ive not really seen all this as a massive problem over the last couple of years although i have felt really sorry for her but its come a point now where shes running out of friends/ boyfriends because people seem to be cottoning on to her ways , people have said to her in the past is she "uses" people . I dont want to just blame my daughter because some of her so called friends have been rotton to her so i dont blame my daughter for moving on but then on the other hand you see some of these girls who have been friends with each other all through primary & high school and they dont seem to be always falling out with each other or maybe they do not sure . I have tried to stand back and look where my daughter may be going wrong but im not sure . Its as though shes gone from being really really popular to having no one .

marleyboy

She's just a typical teenager, you will find all her X friends are going around falling out with one another...............and making up again.

I would not fret over it, they do grow out of these fads and learn who is and isn't their real friends.

ariba10

She is in training to be a Woman.

Northern_Princess

marleyboy wrote: »

She's just a typical teenager, you will find all her X friends are going around falling out with one another...............and making up again.

I would not fret over it, they do grow out of these fads and learn who is and isn't their real friends.

I completely agree with this. Having been there, done it and got a t-shirt for my patience it does get better Take a step back, be a good listener is my advice but don't get involved. Oh I remember the teenage dramas well of "this one is not talking to that one" or "so and so said x/y/z is doing x/y/z". I used to smile, nod, make the "oh really" noises on occasion then get back to what I was doing. However I lost count of the mothers who got involved in the teenage dramas :eek: All I can say is I'm SO glad my daughter has got past that stage as it's wasn't easy :mad:

nickj_2

when my daughter started high school she took at least a couple of years to make good friends that she now hangs out with , she has been away with her best friend and parents to the med for hols , i was slightly worried that she didn't appear to have any real friends and most weekends and school holidays she seemed quite happy to potter around at home , now she works part time at our local hotel and earns a fair bit of cash every week , and she's always out socialising somewhere or studying .
she doesn't seem to have any boyfriends atm , although she does have several friends that are boys , you haven't said how old your daughter is but she should try and find some boy friends rather than a boyfriend

marisco_2

It all sounds completely normal to me. I think your daughter is just finding her feet and adjusting from being a child to becoming a young woman. Friendships that once suited her and worked well now dont, as she and her friends develop new interests and ways of thinking. Teenagers can be moody and touchy individuals and could well be overreacting to her in thinking she uses people. More likely is that she is just going through a faddy stage and is not committed to friendships as she once was.

Dont worry about boyfriends coming and going. As she is still at school she is way too young to get into anything long term and serious. It is all a learning curve. With each boyfriend she has she will learn something about herself and relationships. It occured to me that maybe the boys are dumping her because when they suggest moving the relationship on she is saying 'no'.

The good old teenage years are a rollercoaster of emotions and relationships for most of us. As long as her relationship with you is good and she knows she can talk to you and be listened to then all will be fine.