letting them grow up!!!! struggling

bargainsneeded

Ok am feeling rather teary and a little bit daft so please go easy on me!
My son is 11 going to high school in sept, has a few problems is registered with the mental health team but you wouldnt see his problems on first sight. Anyway he has been invited to go to camelot with a school friend tomorrow in a family group trip aprox 20 adults and 16 kids (family). I am letting him go but i am soooooooo worried about him, not so much that he will run off altho bit worried bout that but the bit thats worrying me most is him falling off a ride. god i feel sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am i being daft or does everyone go through this?:o

balletshoes

we have all been there at various stages in being a parent .
Now realistically, your son is not going to fall off a ride, is he? Theme park rides are made with safety in mind.

Why would you think he would run off though? If that was a serious concern of mine regarding my 11-year old, she wouldn't be going.

Desperado99

Well done for letting him go

My DD's 11 (high school in sept too) and we're currently working on 'walking to school by herself' (it's a good mile and a half - two busy crossings). I'm feeling pretty neurotic about it.

I think most parents go through this

WestonDave

Provided at least some of the adults are aware of his problems, he's probably going to be closer supervised with them than with you! I've taken a friend of my son out for the day (with my son obviously) and you tend to be a bit more careful of what the other child is doing than your own, partly because you have a fair idea how your own would react to any given situation.

If he's happy to go and those going are reasonably trust worthy then its a good thing as he'll be off on school trips etc soon enough so this is a good stepping stone.

(Oh and worrying about your kids and being a bit daft about it is a compulsory addition to your mindset - it gets implanted somewhere between conception and birth - you won't lose it until they are at least 40!))

marisco_2

I would suggest making the adults accompanying him on this trip aware of all your worries and concerns. That way you can rest in the knowledge that you have done all you can to make his day out safe and enjoyable. Then you can make the most of some 'me time' and be able to relax and enjoy yourself too.

I am sure they will be extra careful and vigilent. Every parent goes through these kinds of moments OP. It isn't easy letting go, but so valuable in a kids development. Something that will come up regularly during your sons time at high school.

The thing that I am most greatful to my parents for is that they gradually let go and trusted me to stand on my own two feet. Didn't stop me being embarassed as hell when they were in tears waving me off at Heathrow to go travelling for a year. I was 19 at the time. I didn't understand just how much that must have taken of them. It all helped to make me the confidant, street wise, capable person I now am though. That is every parents aim isn't it to raise their kids to be independant, well prepared for the life ahead of them.

luxor4t

WestonDave wrote: »

.....(Oh and worrying about your kids and being a bit daft about it is a compulsory addition to your mindset - it gets implanted somewhere between conception and birth - you won't lose it until they are at least 40!))

20 adults to 16 kids - he'll have a good time with plenty of people watching out for him but any mum would worry, it's part of the job.

I'm 54 and according to my mother I'm still incapable of crossing a road alone

bargainsneeded

aw thanks guys i feel a bit better now, i have just got back from dropping him off at his mates house not sure if i mentioned in 1st post but the trip starts with a sleepover tonight, i have packed him extra clothes incase of wet weather and have explained to the adults there my concerns, i have sent him with the cheap mobile with giffgaff credit in so if any probs he can ring home, they didnt laugh at my worries and said they would look after him closely, i know i sound daft about the rides and falling off but these things sort of go through your mind as usually my husband will go on the ride and make sure he is strapped in etc, believe me ive worried about every step of the day out from sleeping over tonight to travelling there and back etc etc but from all your lovely posts i now know its normal and am glad ive let him go although will probably not enjoy the peace as will be secretly worrying!!!! hahaha

marisco_2

Awww bless you, you sound like a great mum. Keep focusing on when you pick him up tomorrow and the huge grin that will be on his face. He will love this bit of independance and all the fun that goes with sleepovers and days out. I am prettty sure that it will also cross his mind just how much you trust him to be okay. That will give him loads of confidence.

midnightraven3

**nods knowingly**

i think most of us have been there at some point

with me it was the outward bound school trip for a week:eek:
he came back with a bag of filthy washing and slept for 15 hours:rotfl:

natural to worry OP
but congratulations on letting him go
easier for you to have kept him home
best thing for him to have gone
he will be well looked after and have a great time

FatVonD

We moved house 2 weeks before my son's Year 6 trip (so he was just about to be 11) and it was so hard waving him off with a bunch of kids he'd only known for 2 weeks but he wanted to go so I pasted a smile on my face then shed a tear once the coach had pulled away

It did him a world of good though, when he returned a week later he just seemed so much older. It'll be tougher for oyu than for him, in fact he'll have a blast!

Millie2008_2

It's totally normal to worry, it's part of being a mum. But the risk of anything going wrong is so so so so low that I wouldn't let the worry take over the next 24h. The rides are really bloody safe, otherwise they wouldn't be allowed to operate (even I go on them and I have a tendency to assume that everything is unsafe); He is being supervised by adults who care about him and he is 11 and although 11yo boys can act a bit useless, they are far more savvy than we know

Big hugs xx