Munchausen syndrome by internet

Dunroamin

getzls wrote: »

There is always a suspect thread going on this site. One going now on the benifits and tax credits at the moment which is a bit iffy to me.

"A bit iffy" is something of an understatement!

patchwork_cat

Dunroamin wrote: »

"A bit iffy" is something of an understatement!

Which one?

duchy

There was one on a well known celebrity's forum.

She started off quite normally-introduced herself-posted about trying to give up smoking-and the attention she got from a few supportive people obviously went to her head -She claimed to be a single Mum with a 20 year old son -went on about what a good son he was blah blah then the next thing he's found unconcious in the street and died a few days later in ICU. ..... to be fair she'd done her research and told a convincing tale. she even met a few people...but it obviously wasn't enough for her.....as a few months later-she developed breast cancer ...... she expressed a wish to attend a big social gathering the site were having. She never actually asked for anything-people offered to pay -sent her gifts etc .
A few people were having doubts-but as one put it at the time -How would they have felt if they were wrong accusing someone who'd been through a horrible time of lying-plus the fallout from others on the site who still believed her.By this time she was "so sick" she wasn't posting-but still talking to a few people on the phone-Her assistant at work was posting updates about her health....Strangely he wrote in a similar style to her...... In the end she slipped up-someone sent her a parcel -to be signed for which wasn't acknowledged-so rather than "bother" someone unwell with the side effects of chemo she checked the delivery online -and lo and behold the parcel had been signed for by her "dead" son.

At this point the whatsit hit the fan -as all her posts and emails had been sent from work -her employer got involved -She worked as a book-keeper heaven knows how she got all her work done and kept all her online and telephone activities hidden as she was prolific-but she did-until her employer went into her email-saw what she had done and promptly sacked her.

This woman was convincing -she'd met probably 300 people at the function so it wasn't just on-line -and people were concerned for her-and upset for her. I think the worst was people who HAD lost children or suffered breast cancer themselves or lost family to it. This woman played them and used their vunerabilities -and would "ask them for advice" not just on-line but one to one too.

I have little doubt she's still doing it -even though she lost her job-and her son was informed that she'd claimed he was dead -it seems she was so desperate for attention it became a mental illness. I'm sure she's out there on a site somewhere doing it again-Who knows -she could even be here ....are you there TM ???? At least there are photos so if there are doubts she can be identified in the future if needs be if she tried it elsewhere

In my early internet days there was a girl who was one of the founding admins on a different site-after four years members were quite upset to discover "she" was a guy and had finally "confessed" as she/he was missing out when people got together as they obviously couldn 't attend without blowing their secret. That didn't go down too well either but at least was a lie that snowballed rather than a deliberate effort to defrau]d and decieve.

Saturnalia

A forum I used to belong to had a few serious mentalists.

One was a single man with no luck in love who posted often for years about how lonely he was. Then he met a woman, she also joined the forum and we all liked her too, they often posted about what they'd been up to including pics of themselves out and about. They moved in & got engaged quite quickly then a short while before the wedding, she got up to find he'd gone out and he didn't come home and his phone was switched off. The next day she reported him missing & as he was well-liked, we were all on pins hoping he'd be found.

I don't remember how it came out but the girlfriend never existed, she was the man's sockpuppet, although his and her posts were written so differently it was hard to believe it was the same person. It was a shocker as others on the forum had met the man IRL and liked him. And the woman in the happy pics was actually his sister who he spent most of his free time with. The sister was engaged hence the troll having pictures of them at an engagement party, her with a diamond ring on - it truly was sis's e-party but he wasn't the fiance, obviously!

We wondered if his loneliness has reached such a low that he'd made the story up then kept running with it and perhaps his sister's engagement and wedding planning had inspired his story-telling. But he hurt a lot of people, probably himself most of all as he lost friends in the end.

Then a couple of years later there was another, similar but darker. A woman and her fiance both posted, she got pregnant, the two of them had quite a few problems and got a lot of sympathy. The fiance posted one day that the woman was in ICU fighting for life and was going to lose the baby. One of the most popular people on the forum knew her IRL and had never met the fiance but used to text him often, so she was in touch with him and posting updates on the forum... until one person popped their head up and said that there were so many holes in the story it didn't make any sense. Again, a bit of detective work revealed no fiance, no pregnancy, no illness.

That was horrible as again a few people knew her IRL and had had texts from her supposed fiance. Sad thing is the woman had special needs and seemed to have a childlike mental age and her fiance seemed to be the same way (well obviously in hindsight!) we'd all thought over the years that bits of her story didn't add up but put it down to her/"their" condition and that life must've been difficult for "them" and they didn't express "themselves" very well at times in their posts. Again, hurt a lot of people when it all came out.

Another memorable one was a woman who posted about being abused by her partner. Just about everyone on the forum replied to the thread with emotional support, sadly way too many of us had had similar experiences which we revealed to support her, and again nearly everyone replied with offers of a bed for a few nights, help with hiring a van, getting her stuff out of the flat, being there when she told him it was over, offers of help with money and anything she needed when she left... this went on for days before she was seen on another forum talking about this supposed monster like he was Mr Perfect!

What is sick is that a couple of months later she pulled the same attention-seeking stunt on this other forum! The members of the other forum forgave her after she apologised, she stayed with the man and they had a baby the next year, but then she was caught out there lying about DV again and that was the end of that!

God knows what she got out of that (or if the man involved ever found out what she'd accused him of doing) but why that one stands out is the way everyone offered to help in any way they could - it really showed what a supportive friendly community that was. The forum was re-vamped and made unusable not long after that and the community has all floated away, I still miss it at times.

spaghetti_monster

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01jggl2/Desperately_Seeking_Sympathy/

on the same subject, found it quite interesting. Amazing how far these things can go on the internet - I guess it's just made for it!

Sparklebabey

Interesting thread and articles...thanks for all links!!

I would agree that there are a few that roam this site and there is a couple of people on this section who can't seem to be able to buy a pint of milk without posting and asking for opinions...you wonder how they get by in life as it's the most useless info that is asked for 'help' on or 'handy' updates on how their day is going;)

I can understand using a differnt user name if your query is of a sensitive nature and you know that friends/family use the site but I do laugh when it starts off as 'I am using an AE as hubby/Mum/friend ete use the site' and then go into the most tiny details!!!

I am enjoying (does that make me weird?!) the stories people are posting so will keep an eye on this thread

Sparklebabey

BugglyB wrote: »

I think thats absolutely the right attitude, I hate it when you see posts like 'I woke up worrying about you this morning' or 'please let me know you're ok I'm really sick about it'.

ooohh....not just me then!! Personally I always think when people say 'let us know how things pan out as we will be concerned' is just nothing more than sheer nosiness!! you're not telling me that someone wakes up in the morning and thinks the leccy bill is due/probs with the hubby/running short on money but never mind all that, let me give some headspace to someone that I have never met that posted on a public forum......;)

killerpeaty

This kind of thing makes me feel quite bad for everyone involved to be honest. But I've actually had more experience of this in real life than online surprisingly.

Back when I was in school, there was a girl who constantly told everyone that she was engaged, having children or had decided to become a witch. I'm hoping she will have grown out of it by now.

Much more recently, a different girl spent 8 months screaming and crying about her ex then found a boy she fancied and decided she was in love with him. They met once (after she had decided she was in love with him) and he apparently wasn't attracted to her err obsessive attitude. Now with a new boyfriend, she screams and cries and accuses of abuse, they've been "in love" from 3 weeks into the relationship and no one understands their love. She's 23-24! I fear there's no hope of growing out of this.

I've had an eventful few years, especially this last year. I have found that I am hesitant to talk about it until very recently due to fear of being accused of wanting sympathy and it's mostly due to the people being spoken about in this thread.

carolan78

killerpeaty wrote: »

This kind of thing makes me feel quite bad for everyone involved to be honest. But I've actually had more experience of this in real life than online surprisingly.

Back when I was in school, there was a girl who constantly told everyone that she was engaged, having children or had decided to become a witch. I'm hoping she will have grown out of it by now.

Much more recently, a different girl spent 8 months screaming and crying about her ex then found a boy she fancied and decided she was in love with him. They met once (after she had decided she was in love with him) and he apparently wasn't attracted to her err obsessive attitude. Now with a new boyfriend, she screams and cries and accuses of abuse, they've been "in love" from 3 weeks into the relationship and no one understands their love. She's 23-24! I fear there's no hope of growing out of this.

I've had an eventful few years, especially this last year. I have found that I am hesitant to talk about it until very recently due to fear of being accused of wanting sympathy and it's mostly due to the people being spoken about in this thread.

This is why I would still offer advice because you can never 100% know if it is a troll or there is someone real behind the problem. I just wouldn't allow myself to get drawn into the situation any further than the advice or opinion I have.

Don't let it put you off posting, ignore the few that might shout troll ect ect because really they are no better than the actual troll.

FatVonD

Sparklebabey wrote: »

I am enjoying (does that make me weird?!) the stories people are posting so will keep an eye on this thread

Not on this site but a music site I used to frequent an absolutely stunning girl I'd become friends with developed a close friendship with one of the guys (online.) She arranged to travel to meet him and a couple of days before she was due to go he told her he was a little fatter than in his pics. When she arrived he was morbidly obese, lived with his mum and they put her up in a room with filthy sheets. She told him the relationship wouldn't be going any further (in the nicest possibly way too, she was a lovely, kind girl that had been deceived.) A couple of weeks later somebody came into the chat room attached to the site and said he was from the same town (Dublin) and started talking about a guy that had committed suicide while online on an Irish site and said this guys name. It turned out it was him (ie not him that had topped himself, it was her man pretending he'd done himself in.) :eek: