HELP: SOA indicated a shortfall but I can't see how? Must be why we're in debt!!!

asparagus1968

the 35 ish % for ebay via topcashback isn't 35% off what you spend,just 35% of the revenue ebay makes by the way.:)

PasturesNew

catsense13 wrote: »

Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Presents (birthday & christmas etc)...... 80 (about £1000 a year)

That's where it is.

You can shave £200-300 off that first one without noticing.... and the second one might be harder as you seem to have a big family and have got stuck buying everybody something for every event.

Food/etc though .... £500 can be halved almost overnight.

freshstart11

I agree! For two of us our grocery is max £120 a month! so you should easily get to £200-250

ViolaLass

catsense13 wrote: »

My hubbies family spend loads just on special/personal gift bags and wrap, let alone gifts! And I've noticed if we give them something 'unsuitable or not equivalent' to theirs then they treat us the same.

Do you mean that they don't treat you differently if your present is 'good' or 'bad'? Or do you mean that the next year, your present from them will be smaller/cheaper? Either way, I don't see that it matters.

Sounds like you're buying presents because you feel you ought to. Why not talk to the family and say that you can't afford to keep this up? We can't afford presents for everyone at Christmas so when visiting MIL, for example, for a family meal, we'll get one box of fancy chocs for everyone - £25 covers up to 6 people.

All that said, I think your grocery bill is a much bigger issue. If you cut that in half (easily done), that would save you £3000 a year!

catsense13

Well, I've just gone through May's bank statements and I'm quite pleased with our shopping bill - came in at £352 (average £88 a week) and this is including nappies, gifts, clothes for our son, etc. as I buy nearly everything from supermarkets for convenience. May's car fuel not so good at £207.50...

catsense13

Just to let everyone know that I got the brown bin charge wrong - it's £3 a month (£36 a year) nor £9, lol

ss3n08

Hi catsense, have you spoken to family members about presents. My oh has 5 brothers and sisters and 3 nieces and he whole family has come to the agreement that only presents get bought for under 18's and nothing extravagant. The kids parents can take care of extravagance all other gifts are really just an acknowledgement. My point is that you may find other family members want the same thing but don't want to ask. Someone needs to bite the bullet x

bargainbetty

If the people treat you differently because of the cost of your presents, then the best thing to do is bloody ignore it! What an ungracious bunch.

Either talk to them about just buying for the kids or set a limit and ask people to do 'fun presents' on a strict budget. Make it more about the thought than the expense. If people have wasted their time and money on personalised wrapping, more fool them - why should you be worried about that? If they go over budget and splurge on luxury stuff and particularly if they sniff at your gifts, just sigh and say it's a shame that some people don't have the imagination to be inventive and resort to wasting cash on frivolities to cover up their own short-comings.

If you have a big garden, grow fruits and vegetables - you can grow chillis or fruits really easily and give home-made gifts of chutneys, jams or pickles. Your expense is on the jars, which you can pick up from charity shops - all different and unusual.

There are cheaper card shops now where you can get a pack of 6-9 gift bags for a couple of quid. In my family we reuse them. One Christmas bag went back and forth for four years. My mum used it for my birthday present for a laugh, so she could get it at Christmas again!

Without wishing to be mean, your mindset is holding you back here. You are choosing to allow them to control you - you have to decide that you are going to do what is best for your family, and do it, regardless of what others think.

For example, why are you looking for something with 21 on it? It will be unusable in a year. Find a simple silver chain/pendant, with her birthstone or suchlike. Something that will last. Smaller, well-thought gifts mean more to anyone with a heart instead of a till, and I am sure the birthday girl will get plenty of '21' tat from her immediate family

Good luck

mrsb83_2

You're going to need to make some hard decisions and difficult changes if you want to reduce your debt.

We see it often here on the DFW board - people make excuses for their spending. I'm afraid I don't think you've had your lightbulb moment yet - where you realise that you can't continue as you have been, or that if you do you'll reach a crisis point.

You don't need to justify your spending to us, and you don't need to take on board every suggestion, but realise that people are offering you the benefit of their experience. We've been there, and we know that fundamental changes need to happen. Every penny saved is great, but if you don't address the reasons for overspending then you won't change your relationship with money.

badger_

I like getting toiletries for bday/Christmas - means I have to buy less throughout the year:o

I notice you say you tend to get most things from SM for convenience, it really is worth looking around for the best deals. You can get some fab stuff in Home Bargains or B&M especially store cupboard items. I've picked up some lovely pressies for people in there too.

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