Resignation went horrifically

dilemma10

Hi,

People on this board may know of my peculiar working setup. I am 23 and earn £28k working in a high profile membership organisation. I have been working in this job for 2 years direct to the CEO. I work from home and the job is extremely long hours and stressful.
I just landed another job with one of our members. I informed my boss of this yesterday and she responded horrifically/said she had never known such an act of disloyalty, that she had bent over backwards to help me, that I was going to one of the members, that I should ALWAYS inform a boss of my decision to go to an interview for another job...so she said I WILL serve my full 3 months notice.

3 months seems extremely unreasonable to me and she has already started e-mailing me a 5am to get me to finish work 'ASAP' so the whole thing is transpiring into a nightmare.

My question is - how much power do I have in my control to renegotiate 3 months? My new boss is eager to get me to start ASAP but at the same time in my resignation letter I have been very vocal about ensuring all transitional arrangements happen to the best of my abilities and that I promise a smooth handover...so it's not like I want to run...

?

MX5huggy

Did you sign a contract with 3 months notice?

Start just working your contracted hours 40?

dilemma10

MX5huggy wrote: »

Did you sign a contract with 3 months notice?

Start just working your contracted hours 40?

Hi there, yes I did unfortunately. And would you believe I am contracted only 37 hours per week - laughable!

Wellery82

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hi there, yes I did unfortunately. And would you believe I am contracted only 37 hours per week - laughable!

Why don't you just work them - you are leaving with another job to go to, if work doesn't get done it isn't your problem anymore?

MX5huggy

You work at home, it's easy, turn off you phone and computer. Turn them on at 9 go out for lunch at 12:30 for 30 mins work till 5 turn them off. You can finish at 4:30 on Fridays.

[Deleted User]

If you can't negotiate a reduction in your 'leaving term' then you're stuck with it.

I had a 3 month term once. I gave them a choice between me working 3 months as normal, or me fully documenting all the projects i was working on and providing handovers and leaving in 2 months.

7 weeks later I left

DVardysShadow

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hi,

People on this board may know of my peculiar working setup. I am 23 and earn £28k working in a high profile membership organisation. I have been working in this job for 2 years direct to the CEO. I work from home and the job is extremely long hours and stressful.
I just landed another job with one of our members. I informed my boss of this yesterday and she responded horrifically/said she had never known such an act of disloyalty, that she had bent over backwards to help me, that I was going to one of the members, that I should ALWAYS inform a boss of my decision to go to an interview for another job...so she said I WILL serve my full 3 months notice.

3 months seems extremely unreasonable to me and she has already started e-mailing me a 5am to get me to finish work 'ASAP' so the whole thing is transpiring into a nightmare.

My question is - how much power do I have in my control to renegotiate 3 months? My new boss is eager to get me to start ASAP but at the same time in my resignation letter I have been very vocal about ensuring all transitional arrangements happen to the best of my abilities and that I promise a smooth handover...so it's not like I want to run...

You've finally done it! Congratulations. [There are quite a few previous threads on this screwed up working relationship]

Obviously, you have been under the thumb of this woman for far too long and if you don't watch out she will get you back under her thumb. I suggest that from now on, you stand up to her. It is none of her bllody business when, where or with whom you have an interview. Make sure she knows this.

If she is being a tibch, tell her to stop being a tibch and to get out of your face. Give her a hard time. She has no power now. If she starts being nice to you and reconciliatory, tell her to stop being a tibch [it will actually be true] and to get out of your face. Don't do her any favours, don't work a minute over your day and if she texts or emails, ignore it until your day starts. If she calls tell her to gubber off. Make it very plain that she has lost her power over you.

Don't feel obliged to her clients. Don't promise anything to them except to refer them to your boss.

Hopefully she might lose it and tell you to clear off. Don't waste a minute. Leave.

Seriously, this is one abusive relationship and if you don't stand for yourself for these next 3 months, you will find yourself withdrawing your resignation.

Don't discount the possibility of spite - particularly if you have told her where you are going to work, which I imagine you may already have done.

dilemma10

DVardysShadow wrote: »

You've finally done it! Congratulations. [There are quite a few previous threads on this screwed up working relationship]

Obviously, you have been under the thumb of this woman for far too long and if you don't watch out she will get you back under her thumb. I suggest that from now on, you stand up to her. It is none of her bllody business when, where or with whom you have an interview. Make sure she knows this.

If she is being a tibch, tell her to stop being a tibch and to get out of your face. Give her a hard time. She has no power now. If she starts being nice to you and reconciliatory, tell her to stop being a tibch [it will actually be true] and to get out of your face. Don't do her any favours, don't work a minute over your day and if she texts or emails, ignore it until your day starts. If she calls tell her to gubber off. Make it very plain that she has lost her power over you.

Don't feel obliged to her clients. Don't promise anything to them except to refer them to your boss.

Hopefully she might lose it and tell you to clear off. Don't waste a minute. Leave.

Seriously, this is one abusive relationship and if you don't stand for yourself for these next 3 months, you will find yourself withdrawing your resignation.

Don't discount the possibility of spite - particularly if you have told her where you are going to work, which I imagine you may already have done.

Thank you so much for your very kind words and support. I am so relieved to know I will be moving on to pastures new, at the same time, the next '3' months are going to be difficult - eek!

Will let you know how it all goes....

DVardysShadow

dilemma10 wrote: »

Thank you so much for your very kind words and support. I am so relieved to know I will be moving on to pastures new, at the same time, the next '3' months are going to be difficult - eek!

Will let you know how it all goes....

Although this falls under employment, it is actually a fairly classic abuse situation. I suggest that you go to the Marriage Couples and Relationships forum http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=24 and start a diary of your efforts to leave - with some background so that people view it under the heading of abuse, rather than employment. Many women who leave partners have difficulties far worse than yours. But when they make the decision to go, they can go very quickly. I think you will need lots of support to see this through.

heretolearn_2

Sorry about this. Some bosses do get very nasty when people resign, I've had to deal with it myself.

Unfortunately you are stuck with the 3 months notice but if she is going to start playing silly !!!!!!s then stand up for yourself (nicely) and keep to your contracted hours etc. It makes no difference to you if she wants to email you at 5am. All it means is the silly moo is working herself at 5am. While you are in bed asleep. So let her, just deal with it all in your normal hours then turn off PC, switch off phone (or ignore her calls) and relax.

You shouldn't have given her details of where you were going though, it's none of her business and she is extra miffed as she now knows a client 'poached' you from her. But noone ever tells their boss they are going for interviews, she is just being ridiculous there.

Never mind, in 3 months time you'll be as happy as Larry. Last little bit to get through best as you can.

MarkTed

Had she already accepted you resignation formally? If yes, then you should stood over her now and be on your own - yet still doing what you should do during the same work hours you render. Plus, there ain't no reason at all for them to know everything that you want to do or plan. You have notified them and that's probably enough - with over 3 months that you have to render before finally leaving and transferring to your new job.

I guess both of you should talk about it and should understand and clear out both of your limitations and professionalism.