In Laws Moving in with us!

rachyjane

Without going into all the details, my husbands parents need to move in with us. Due to complicated personal circumstances, they have no savings or other assests and can only claim basic pension. Does anyone know where we stand in terms of financial help that they can receive or where to start with it? We've just applied online to put their names on the electoral roll at our property but not sure what we can do next? Thanks

podperson

I would start with seeing if they can get pension credits - this will then make it easier for them to apply for housing/council tax benefit if they're looking for somewhere of their own to rent (is this the plan or do you mean they will be living with you long term?) and will also get them things like free prescriptions if they need them.

SailorSam

I don't know but if it was the other way around and a adult child was to move back in with their Mum, i wouldn't imagine either to be able to get any extra benefits.

paddy's_mum

In your shoes, I would be moving heaven and earth to prevent them moving into my home! In my experience, it rarely works out happily unless both women are saints, can cause the break-down of the marriage and lead to all sorts of unexpected, very unpleasant circumstances.

Can you not lend them enough money to start renting on their own account?

If there is absolutely no alternative whatever than for them to come to you, could you at least house them in a touring caravan on your drive so that both you and they have at least some element of privacy?

Good luck but I do feel that this needs a helluva lot of thinking through before jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

LandyAndy

paddy's_mum wrote: »

In your shoes, I would be moving heaven and earth to prevent them moving into my home! In my experience, it rarely works out happily unless both women are saints, can cause the break-down of the marriage and lead to all sorts of unexpected, very unpleasant circumstances.


Good luck but I do feel that this needs a helluva lot of thinking through before jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

:T:T My feelings, too. Absolutely the last resort.

LandyAndy

rachyjane wrote: »

Without going into all the details, my husbands parents need to move in with us. Due to complicated personal circumstances, they have no savings or other assests and can only claim basic pension. Does anyone know where we stand in terms of financial help that they can receive or where to start with it? We've just applied online to put their names on the electoral roll at our property but not sure what we can do next? Thanks

Actually the details might be helpful.

How old are you / they? How long have you been married? Do you have children who live with you? How big is your house? How far are they moving to be with you? Are they infirm? Are they mobile (own transport)?

I'm sure there are others.

NAR

Start strolling around the house in your skimpy sexy underwear. MIL will soon be able to find alternative accommodation! :A

lostinrates

paddy's_mum wrote: »

In your shoes, I would be moving heaven and earth to prevent them moving into my home! In my experience, it rarely works out happily unless both women are saints, can cause the break-down of the marriage and lead to all sorts of unexpected, very unpleasant circumstances.

Can you not lend them enough money to start renting on their own account?

If there is absolutely no alternative whatever than for them to come to you, could you at least house them in a touring caravan on your drive so that both you and they have at least some element of privacy?

Good luck but I do feel that this needs a helluva lot of thinking through before jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Where as i know of a few incidences where it really does work. I know a few people who live in multi genration households, where it was the beat way to get homes for younger generation by polling resources and to provide care for the older generation.

Dh and i lived in my family house for a while and now my parents are divorcing and had to toss a coin for which one got to move in with us. I am confident that while we will inevitably feel frustration at times, this will be fine for us.


Going into it with ground rules, firm boundaries and space that is theirs and yours, even if it is just a bedroom, is key. Also good lines of communication where issues can be resolved over a cuppa not in a cat fight, and also, making sure everyone pulls their weight so no ne feels taken advantage of or reminded of their debt of gratitude.

SailorSam

Do you think that's a British thing that we all find living together difficult, in some other cultures it seems to be the norm.

BritRael

SailorSam wrote: »

Do you think that's a British thing that we all find living together difficult, in some other cultures it seems to be the norm.

100% agree.
I was talking earlier today about this with a couple of Indian friends who tell me that they have both lived as 4 families under the same roof which spanned many generations. They can both laugh about it now, but even they had to admit that it was very tough. I couldn't have done it
Good luck to you if you try it

Hadrian

LandyAndy wrote: »

:T:T My feelings, too. Absolutely the last resort.

I totally agree.