advice appreciated

skm44

Hi,

Three weeks ago, my partner of eight years decided to leave. I wonder if someone can give me some advice on what I should do with regards to my financial situation. Five months ago we moved into rented accommodation. We also bought a new car and some furniture. As he had bad credit, the car and furniture are in my name which I'm paying off. When he left, he said he would pay his share of the rent until the 6 month initial contract is up. He has paid rent for June and hopefully will do the same for July. He also said that I can keep the deposit but I pay will have to pay for everything because I am keeping it all (none of this my choice, I was just told).

It has been very difficult to think clearly over the past few weeks. Now that I have accepted that our relationship is over and he is not coming back, I have to start thinking about how I'm going to cope with all the bills. I work full time but I do not earn enough to pay for everything. The most important thing is the rent. Now, I would like to look for a housemate, but is this something that I have to discuss with the letting agent? If I tell them about the situation, will they want me to move out? I would like to have some sort of an idea of what to expect before i pluck up the courage to tell them.

The other thing is the car. The finance agreement is for three years. It is a big monthly expense. Is it possible to change the repayments to a four or five year term? I know i'm probably clutching at straws here but I need to find some way to bring my monthly expenses down.

I would really appreciate if someone could advise me on the best course of action. Thanks in advance.

coinxoperated

I think firstly, you need to complete a statement of affairs to find exactly where you are with things.

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

You need to plan on what your doing when your ex stops paying part of the rent. You need to do thi asap, so you can budget accordingly. If you need to save a deposit up for elsewhere, you need to know. Do not use the deposit coming back from your current rental as a definate. Landlords can be absolute !!!!!! when it comes to them, and can drag it out for months. Hopefully won't happen, but you need a back up plan in case.

You need to prioritise your bills. ie

Rent
Electric
Gas
Water
Food
Council Tax
Car insurance

Then

Car finance
Car tax
Car Mot
Breakdown Cover
Loans
Credit Cards

Most car finance companies are not flexible in anyway. Dependant on your SOA, you could opt for re-sale of the car to pay the finance off and downgrade (or get a bus, very MSE!), have it voluntarilly repossessed (avoid if possible, but better than full repossession!!), keep going with the payments, or, try and take out a bank loan to cover the outstanding finance, pay the finance off, pay the bank loan over a longer period of time e.g reducing the monthly payment but increasing the overall cost and then you have the choice of selling or whatever without all the hassle

Hope its helped a bit!

You can post your SOA on here and I'm sure everyone will advise you on what cut backs you can make x

londonsurrey

I'm really sorry about this. Can you look at a car share, advertising a lift to work for a share of petrol?

BitterAndTwisted

skm44 wrote: »

Five months ago we moved into rented accommodation. When he left, he said he would pay his share of the rent until the 6 month initial contract is up. He has paid rent for June and hopefully will do the same for July.

Start looking for another, cheaper property so you can surrender this one at the end of your AST if you can't afford all of the rent on your own.

He also said that I can keep the deposit but I pay will have to pay for everything because I am keeping it all (none of this my choice, I was just told).

Has the deposit been registered in your name as the lead tenant? If not, the deposit will be returned to your partner.

The most important thing is the rent. Now, I would like to look for a housemate, but is this something that I have to discuss with the letting agent?

Yes, it should be. What you are proposing is to have a new tenancy agreement drawn up with someone else as a "permitted occupier". This might not serve your purposes as it still leaves you 100% responsible for all of the rent. However, the final decision rests with the landlord and not the agent. It might be better for you to enter into a new TA with another person as a joint-tenant.

Another option, although not one I would necessarily advise, would be to take someone on as a lodger and just not tell the landlord or their agent.

If I tell them about the situation, will they want me to move out? I would like to have some sort of an idea of what to expect before i pluck up the courage to tell them.

If they want you to move out only a court order can force you to do so.

The other thing is the car. The finance agreement is for three years. It is a big monthly expense. Is it possible to change the repayments to a four or five year term? I know I'm probably clutching at straws here but I need to find some way to bring my monthly expenses down.

I really can't advise you about that as I have no experience of these sorts of contracts. Perhaps you could post over on the Debt-Free Wannabe part of the forum as there are most definitely posters over there who would know and be able to advise.

I would really appreciate if someone could advise me on the best course of action. Thanks in advance.

In the short-term you should cross your fingers that this ex will come up with July's rent, so you can get a plan together about how you are going to be able to afford all this debt you have taken on adn be able to afford somewhere to live. Were you aware of the risks you were exposing yourself to with this person who had "bad credit"? I know it's easy to say this now, but HUGE alarm bells should have been ringing at the time.

skm44

Thank you for all your replies. I appreciate that you took the time to respond to my post.

Coinxoperated - what will happen if the car is voluntarily repossessed? I could try and sell it, getting public transport would not be a problem for me. I will look into those options. This is all just very daunting at the minute.

BitterAndTwisted - what you wrote is really helpful - thanks. I was thinking of trying to get a lodger - it would be the easiest option. Finding someone to move in here seems the cheapest and most convenient thing to do. If I moved out I would have to find a deposit, plus the cost of furniture removals. I have a cat and moving to a flat is not ideal, as she is an outdoors cat.

I was with my ex for eight years. He has always been terrible with money so if anything was bought on credit I got it in my name. Yes the thought did occur to me that if we split I have these things in my name. But I didn't think the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with would leave so easily. I asked him if we could discuss a way to sort out the bills and payments but he refused. He has left me on my own to sort everything out. In hindsight, I should not have agreed to put everything in my name, but I believed I was in a happy, committed relationship.

coinxoperated

Well I had it done when my situation changed. I HAD to go down the voluntary repossession route as they wouldn't extend the term of the loan, be understanding with payment or let me sell the car (worth £5k at this time but had £7.5k finance on it!! no one would even look at it!) they won't let you sell it unless it pays the finance off in full.

So it all depends on the situation. When I gave my Mini back to Close Motor Finance, they halved what I owed them (from 7.5k TO £3750) then took off what they got for it in AUCTION (this bit gutted me - £2.500!!) and I think had £1250 left to pay off + £400 reposession costs - but as I was in such a bad situation I just paid them back £30 a month. I then went into a DRO this year and cleared lots of debt including this one (well - not cleared but its a whole different thing for another board lol)

SO it all really depends on your actual situation. How much is left on the finance, how much is cars real value (look on auto trader), could you afford to make up any deficit (any savings), and do you have good enough credit to take out a bank loan to change it from car finance to a loan over a long period of time?

I know its daunting, BUT nobody ever died of a bit of financial struggle! You have a job, thats a start missy! Keep your head high and battle on. Be strong, it does all work out eventually! I was with someone for 6 years who managed to use up all my savings and set me into about 14k's worth of debt. A year after splitting up, he moved in with my sister :eek: so always look on the silver lining! Hold on... where's your sister? lol

DebtFreein5Months

skm44 wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies. I appreciate that you took the time to respond to my post.

Coinxoperated - what will happen if the car is voluntarily repossessed? I could try and sell it, getting public transport would not be a problem for me. I will look into those options. This is all just very daunting at the minute.

BitterAndTwisted - what you wrote is really helpful - thanks. I was thinking of trying to get a lodger - it would be the easiest option. Finding someone to move in here seems the cheapest and most convenient thing to do. If I moved out I would have to find a deposit, plus the cost of furniture removals. I have a cat and moving to a flat is not ideal, as she is an outdoors cat.

I was with my ex for eight years. He has always been terrible with money so if anything was bought on credit I got it in my name. Yes the thought did occur to me that if we split I have these things in my name. But I didn't think the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with would leave so easily. I asked him if we could discuss a way to sort out the bills and payments but he refused. He has left me on my own to sort everything out. In hindsight, I should not have agreed to put everything in my name, but I believed I was in a happy, committed relationship.

Don't beat yourself up about this, it's very common :-/ I was in a similar situation did the exact same thing - hindsight is 20/20 vision! You should have heard the lecture I got from my Mum and all the "I knew this would happen" comments that never help
But I think you are doing the right thing in acknowledging the situation and working towards sorting it out - especially when you world has just turned sideways and you're feeling like s**t! That's a big step :T
Is it possible to give notice on your place and find a smaller place near your work? (maybe a ground floor flat for the cat), I would think twice about a lodger unless as a last resort, I think you need your space right now.

PS - if he comes back asking for another chance - tell him to Foxtrot Oscar!

Good luck

skm44

coinxoperated wrote: »

Well I had it done when my situation changed. I HAD to go down the voluntary repossession route as they wouldn't extend the term of the loan, be understanding with payment or let me sell the car (worth £5k at this time but had £7.5k finance on it!! no one would even look at it!) they won't let you sell it unless it pays the finance off in full.

So it all depends on the situation. When I gave my Mini back to Close Motor Finance, they halved what I owed them (from 7.5k TO £3750) then took off what they got for it in AUCTION (this bit gutted me - £2.500!!) and I think had £1250 left to pay off + £400 reposession costs - but as I was in such a bad situation I just paid them back £30 a month. I then went into a DRO this year and cleared lots of debt including this one (well - not cleared but its a whole different thing for another board lol)

SO it all really depends on your actual situation. How much is left on the finance, how much is cars real value (look on auto trader), could you afford to make up any deficit (any savings), and do you have good enough credit to take out a bank loan to change it from car finance to a loan over a long period of time?

I know its daunting, BUT nobody ever died of a bit of financial struggle! You have a job, thats a start missy! Keep your head high and battle on. Be strong, it does all work out eventually! I was with someone for 6 years who managed to use up all my savings and set me into about 14k's worth of debt. A year after splitting up, he moved in with my sister :eek: so always look on the silver lining! Hold on... where's your sister? lol

Thanks. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. It is comforting though to know that there are others who have gone through a similar situation and come out the other side. I will look into those options. There is a huge amount left to pay, we only got the car in January, it was £13k but with it being on finance the total figure is more. I think my credit is pretty good but not excellent. I'll check the loan option out anyway.

I am trying very hard to be strong, but because the break-up is so fresh, it's difficult to think sensibly. I just don't know what I should be doing and I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

skm44

DebtFreein5Months wrote: »

Don't beat yourself up about this, it's very common :-/ I was in a similar situation did the exact same thing - hindsight is 20/20 vision! You should have heard the lecture I got from my Mum and all the "I knew this would happen" comments that never help
But I think you are doing the right thing in acknowledging the situation and working towards sorting it out - especially when you world has just turned sideways and you're feeling like s**t! That's a big step :T
Is it possible to give notice on your place and find a smaller place near your work? (maybe a ground floor flat for the cat), I would think twice about a lodger unless as a last resort, I think you need your space right now.

PS - if he comes back asking for another chance - tell him to Foxtrot Oscar!

Good luck

I think it's unlikely he'll come back, but I will definitely take your advice if he does!
A ground floor flat might be worth looking into, although with London prices, I don't think I would get anywhere half-decent for what I can afford. I don't really mind not having enough space, my priority at the minute is being able to pay all the bills, and I think having someone else around would help with the loneliness.

coinxoperated

You WILL get through this and you DO have the strength. I know how sometimes it all feels like everything is all on top of you and it seems such a mess, but organise it on paper. I spent 2 months surrounded in lists of how I was going to do things. Aim, shoot, and score missy! The fact you have come on here to ask for advice means you can do it in my opinion. The actual sorting of things will be easier than you think hun. If you ever want my number or e-mail to have someone to talk to and a friend I'm more than welcome to be there for you. You do need to grab the bull by the horns and get on with it x

coinxoperated

Oh and get a pet once you have yourself sorted. Maybe not a dog or car, but a friendly hamster, or a small fluffy thing like a house rabbit can be great to make you feel 'not alone'. I have a small dog, who is an absolute little !!!!!!, BUT he has always been available to cry into when I'm having a bad day, and it's amazing how great the conversation can be