How do we approach this noisy neighbour?

Lbarn

Hi Guys,

I wondered if anyone else had ever had an issue with neighbours who scream at their children constantly? and how you dealt with it diplomatically?

We haven't even moved in yet, we are up there alot renovating and seeing workmen and have already witnessed the woman next door really shouting at her kids - its embarrassing!

On saturday night we were with friends, who know this womans other next door neighbours (so two doors down from us) and apparently she does this every day and its really getting them down.... but have never said anything.

Obviously we want to start on the right foot and handle this situation carefully.... but how?

We have spent alot of money buying this house and spent thousands doing it up, so we are so excited about moving in but now I am worrying about this nuisance neighbour.... and to make matters worse she is a policewoman and quite bolshy.

Any advice would be appreciated.

harrup

Bluntly..... you can't.

Not what you want to hear, I know. But there really is no acceptable or diplomatic way to tell a perfect stranger that her verbal interaction with her own children is anyones business but her own.

Actually, if she WAS a perfect stranger it would still be do-able. Who cares if she took it as a severe slight. Since she is a neighbour, a brand new neighbour no less, my advice is - don't go there.

Lbarn

LOL yes thats what I was kind of expecting the answer to be....

Its so difficult, ive heard her and i just cant believe that someone would think it is acceptable... as a parent i have lost my temper on the odd occasion but not in ear shot of other people.

I would be distraught if anyone heard me shouting like a fishmongers wife!

Even more shocking she is in a position of public authority.....

never mind... only time will tell

harrup

I just quickly wanted to add to my prior response: I fully understand where you are coming from. And I sympathize.

Several years ago I was in the exact same situation. My neighbour, 2 doors down, had 3 young children. The noise level from constant shouting - either between the kids squabbling and fighting or their mum reprimanding them very loudly - when sitting in my garden was unbelievable. Certainly not pleasant!

They weren't in any way bad kids or their parents bad parents. It was simply a fact of proximity. The gardens were so close together that it was inevitable that the noise infringed into neighbours space.

It was tedious. But there was no way I was prepared to fall out with my neighbour over it. The good news is: kids grow up and the noise level reduces. Quicker than you think.

Meanwhile, learn to "filter" and enjoy your new home. There really is no other option.

Pricivius

Maybe she doesn't realise how much you can hear through the walls - if the neighbours the other side have never told her and have never had a shouting match, how is she to know?

If you do anything, I would send round a card, perhaps with some flowers or a box of chocolates, saying that you hope your renovations were not too noisy or disruptive to her as you are aware that the walls are quite thin. Perhaps she'll get the hint, perhaps she won't, but it's worth a try and gets your relationship off on a good footing in any event.

Lbarn

Thats a really great idea..... I will definatley do that. I did go round when we first got the keys to apologise in advance about skips, workmen banging etc... so i will definatley do that with a bottle of wine to say sorry for the "noise!"

Fortunatley its not a case of thin walls as its a detached property its when they are in the garden (which having two boys they are in there alot), so hopefully in winter we won't have many problems.

My parents had disruptive neighbours a few years ago, so i wanted to find a diplomatic way to approach the subject without upsetting her... the gift idea is great and hopefully she may get the hint!

[Deleted User]

Hi,

you could maybe also add that now all the hard work is done you are looking forward to some peaceful relaxation in the garden, either gardening or reading, hint, hint, .

thriftychap_2

Personally I would grin and bear it over your 1st summer, all the while befriending the family as you would any new neighbor.

Come next summer you may be in a position then to be honest, all be it in a jovial manner with the new friend 'do you know how loud you are sometimes'.

Lbarn

love it!! LOL

Knew I would get some help from you fab people!

Mrs_Arcanum

You could always politely ask (with a concerned/worried look on your face) if everything is OK, as it sounded like someone was being murdered.

cepheus

I wish my neighbour whould scream at their children more, it might reduce the amount of noise they make! At least then I would know it gets on the parents nerves almost as much as mine and they are trying to do something about it rather than letting them run riot!

Not much hope of that.