Signing a custody agreement without going to court

leighpea80

Hi,

Im looking for a bit of advice.

My sister is currently in a battle with her ex partner over the rights to see her son.

He has recently moved to America and just got married. He has asked my sister to sign a custody agreement for access to their son. My sister has never stopped him seeing his son but his wish to see him has been some what sketchy. He went for a period of 10 months without having physical contact with him and only seeing him on Skype every few weeks.

He now wants my sister to sign this agreement stating that he will have him most school holidays, making him fly alone from age 5, and also giving very clear outlines as to times when he can speak to his son.

What I'm curious to know is, if she agrees to this agreement (with a lot of alterations I must add) is it a legal document, or will it need to go through the courts to become legal. Her ex seems to think just having it on file with a solicitor is enough to make it a legal document.

Thanks for any help in advice!

clearingout

No - it's simply an agreement. If either or both of them decide it isn't working in the future they can simply stop it - and the other would need to drag it through court.

it is generally considered that agreements made between parents will work better than those imposed by the courts. Going with a certain pattern of contact for a period of time is what the courts call the 'status quo'. Better said, courts tend to return to the status quo unless there is good reason not to. It would not be usual for one parent to have 'most' of the school holidays given that it is recognised both parents need to spend quality time with the children. However, given the distance and time the child can't actually spend with his dad, your sister would do well to be reasonable and give her ex more of the holidays than perhaps she has.

Is he supporting the child financially? who is going to pay the air fares? have either of them researched whether a child as young as 5 can fly unaccompanied (and if so, at what cost)? does she have any concerns that he might decide not to return the child?

Mojisola

Don't sign anything without having advice from her own solicitor.

**Patty**

I thought children had to be 12 (or is it 14?) for un-accompanied transatlantic flights?

xxlouisexx56

I would not let my child fly transatlantic alone. At 16 then maybe, but before, no way!

I've flown to America a few times and it's no pleasant let alone for a child on their own! I can't believe the dad thinks this is ok!!!

RAS

I would strongly recommend that the sister also learn how the custody and access rules work in the state in which her ex is now living.

She may find for instance that by signing that documents she is making an arrangment that is legally binding in America and that failure to comply could have implications that she does not understand.

heretolearn_2

What does she or the child gain from her signing something? Nothing. So don't sign it.

Airlines do have unaccompanied child programmes but the age it starts from depends on the airline. I believe some may start at 5. Whether she feels happy with this is another matter. My son flew unaccompanied at 13 without any special arrangements but that's rather different - I wouldn't have let him go at 5!

Perhaps she could suggest dad flies over here for holidays until child is older?

GobbledyGook

She needs to get proper legal advice before signing anything. She needs to look into the ins and outs of child custody/residency law where he lives before she agrees to anything.

If she's going to agree to things like "most" school holidays then perhaps it should be more specific to ensure that her time with her child is protected as she will also want to spend some holiday time with him.

How old is the child? I wouldn't be agreeing to flying unaccompanied from a set age. I would agree to flying unaccompanied at a time where it was felt by all parties (including the child) that they were happy and confident enough to go, but not at an arbitary age. If there's going to be an agreement about the when's and how's of the child flying to the USA then it'd be worth getting the who pays put in there as well.

peachyprice

**Patty** wrote: »

I thought children had to be 12 (or is it 14?) for un-accompanied transatlantic flights?

They can fly from 5 (with most airlines) accompanied by an airline chaperone, from 12 they can fly unaccompanied.

carolan78

I wouldn't be signing anything, as raz said she needs to look into the American laws as well as our own regarding the agreement (state specific). I certainly wouldn't be allowing the child to travel alone for a good 5 or 6 years. I think I would worry the father may not return the child!

He really has no grounds to argue if he did once live in the UK and he decided to up and leave, surely any parent that gave a fig would have spoken to mum about access before even making a decision about moving abroad.