How to tell if partner has depression?

purty

Hello

I'm hoping that someone who has been through this can help me or offer some support.

I've become very worried recently that my partner has depression. I don't want to go into it all in too much detail but on looking at his internet search history found that he had been looking up 'suicide'.

He's been unhappy at work recently but I'm sure there must be more wrong than this for him to be contemplating such a thing??

I've tried talking to him about it (I didn't mention the search history thing - just about how down he's been recently) and suggested that he go and see his GP for a bit of advice but he didn't want to.

I know all I can do is be supportive, but I'm just so worried about him and wish I could do something, anything to help

BitterAndTwisted

Crikey!

Well, if he won't acknowledge that he's depressed and won't accept your suggestion of seeing his GP there's not a lot you can do. I think I'd admit having seen his internet search history, hence my having raised my concerns in the first place and see how he responds. I'd also have the phone number of the Samaritans somewhere plainly in view.

Gingham_R

I'd phone the samaritans myself, for support, and I'd go to the GP to alert her to my concerns and ask for advice. I'd phone MIND too.

And it would entirely depend on how you feel he might react as to whether or not I'd tell him I'd seen the search. I'd tell my own husband, but someone different might either withdraw further or become angry.

neveah

hi i have just been through this with dh , came home from work to find him crying in bed and wishing he was dead . He refused point blank to let me call the dr or tell anyone
It was such a shock and j felt so helpless .
Irang the dr and she was really good and spoke to him and he agreed to go to surgery but on the way there he had a panic attack and was screaming at me to take him home .
Finally got him there and she signed him off work and started him on anti ds , slowly he is starting to improve but it hs a very long road ..please try and encorage your dh to go before it gets worse .
Idid get worse again before it got better .
The next day he told me he wanted us to drive under the bridge to walk the dog and while we were there he told me he wanted to die .
big hugs xx

j.e.j.

If you are concerned you may be able to get a GP out to him, and/or possiby a mental health assessment done (if he agrees to it) at home. If he won't go to the GP, perhaps you could have a word with the doctor on his behalf and see what they say?

gibson123

Hi there, do not leave this, he needs help, take charge now!

Have a look at this guide

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

If you are seriously concerned for his mental health and think he is a danger to himself talk it over with a doctor, as his next of kin there are actions that you can take if he is incapable of helping himself.

Suicide is endemic at the moment and is on the rise again especially in men between the ages of 25 and 40.

purty

Thank you all for your posts. I can see now that I need to get him to see a doctor somehow. I can't keep going on with the terror of coming home and thinking the worst might have happened

Thanks for the link gibson123, it's very relevant and I'll try to take action.

It's very hard to approach the subject with him though, he's very good at dodging it whenever I try to bring it up.

natlie

Hi
My partner has depression and his came about from a break down in 2009 for no explained reason really - we still don't know why he is suffering but he's been referred to a psychiatrist.

Are you sure it is depression? with my partner it started with acusing me of cheating and being generally untrusting of everyone, then he started this I don't care attitude leading eventually to OCD type behaviour - extreme bathing routine and changing his clothes constantly.

I am wondering if he doesnt want to see the Doctor because its not medical related - could he be having bullying/debt or other issues that he is hiding maybe? would it be worth trying to tease it out of him?

Nat

gibson123

natlie wrote: »

Hi
My partner has depression and his came about from a break down in 2009 for no explained reason really - we still don't know why he is suffering but he's been referred to a psychiatrist.

Are you sure it is depression? with my partner it started with acusing me of cheating and being generally untrusting of everyone, then he started this I don't care attitude leading eventually to OCD type behaviour - extreme bathing routine and changing his clothes constantly.

I am wondering if he doesnt want to see the Doctor because its not medical related - could he be having bullying/debt or other issues that he is hiding maybe? would it be worth trying to tease it out of him?

Nat

natlie all the behaviour you have described can be put down to depression.

gibson123

purty wrote: »

Thank you all for your posts. I can see now that I need to get him to see a doctor somehow. I can't keep going on with the terror of coming home and thinking the worst might have happened

Thanks for the link gibson123, it's very relevant and I'll try to take action.

It's very hard to approach the subject with him though, he's very good at dodging it whenever I try to bring it up.

Purty, it may be he just can't face it, talk to the doctor, if he is really ill, you can get him treatment without his consent. Please do this, as soon as possible.

Ich_2

I'll be honest it is very difficult, I've had to deal with my OH suffering depression for the last 30+years, it never goes away it just varies in depth.
I work on the principle of it always being there and acting accordingly, fear of getting help is common and it is only recently that the truth has been told and the correct help been made available.
Some things to watch for, pushing those close to them away, avoiding friends/dumping friends, being secretive with their body can be a sign of self harm, excessive drinking, excessive spending, being easily compliant with partner's suggestions. It is a huge list but you need to get the medics involved somehow.
I noticed a comment re the Samaritans, bear in mind that often they are there just for folk to "vent" to and may be constrained in the actual help they can offer