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Finding this hard (again)

As some of you may know my ex has refused to let me see the children again.
Last time he kept them for 3 weeks as I had to take him to court.
A contact order was given and I saw my children for 3 weeks.

He is now "keeping" the children (his words). Has made more silly accussations.
I cannot get to court earlier than 2 weeks time. Which means 3 weeks or more until i see my children.

My 3 year old cried at nursery every day since i saw them after those 3 weeks. Clung to me and told me not to leave him. Now he will think i have left him again, because that's what his dad tells him.

On the meantime I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel lost and my days are dragging. I am pottering round the house feeling miserable and really miss my children.

My house is sparkling clean and tidy and I've decluttered.
I am also barely sleeping.

Just feeling lost and lonely with no idea what to do with myself.

Comments

  • nonnatus
    nonnatus Posts: 1,458 Forumite
    Oh God! I have no constructive advice but didn't want to read and run off again. What a horrendous situation to be in and what a vile man your ex seems to be. He's obviously "punishing" you for something using the children as his weapons. Unfortunately, the children end up being hurt most, as they obviously desperately miss their mum and are too young to understand the "Game" he's playing.

    I assume from your post that you are going to sit tight for 2 weeks until you can go back to court - did you get professional advice to do that?

    If so, and it's distraction therapy you're after, why not try tiring yourself out? Go walking, volunteer for some night time charity work or something? It'll take your mind off your immediate problem and you'll be exhausted at bedtime!!

    I hope you find some peace of mind x
  • Yes that is the advice given by my solicitor, the police and cafcass.
    I have been going to the gym daily. Though had a day off yesterday because was in pain from doing too many classes.
    Have seen a few friends but they all have kids. And i get a bit emotional because it reminds me of what my children are going through.

    I will see what voluntary work is available.
  • dibuzz
    dibuzz Posts: 2,021 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    What an awful situation, I hope it gets sorted out :(
    14 Projects in 2014 - in memory of Soulie - 2/14
  • Uniscots97
    Uniscots97 Posts: 6,687 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    This is a very similar situation to what my friend is going through. She has 3 kids. Her and her ex live in the same house, he lives downstairs and my friend and the kids live upstairs. When its her turn to look after the kids (they do week about) he's allowed to be there when it's his he insists she cannot be in the house. He's filling their heads full of nonsense (well the younger ones, the middle one has taken to hitting his head off a wall in his Dad's prescense, says it all really doesn't it?). They're at court this week and i hope for the kids sake the court tell him to get on his bike, when they were together each weekend he would be 'busy', away with friends overnight, away with work overnight, always busy and my friend always had the kids every weekend.

    My advice to you about the allegations is have as many people you can speak up for you, also texts, emails or whatever that might prove your case. Good luck.
    CC2 = £8687.86 ([STRIKE]£10000[/STRIKE] )CC1 = £0 ([STRIKE]£9983[/STRIKE] ); Reusing shopping bags savings =£5.80 vs spent £1.05.Wine is like opera. You can enjoy it even if you don't understand it and too much can give you a headache the next day J
  • neneromanova
    neneromanova Posts: 3,051 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Why can't you go to nursery and pick up the children and take them home?
    What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine..
  • neneromanova only my eldest goes to nursery. My youngest is too young for education. It has been suggested by many that I go and collect my eldest, but I do not think it would be beneficial for the children to be seperated. They have enough going on already.
    As hard as it is, I am trying hard to do it the correct way and with the childrens best interests at heart.

    I am sure if the role were reversed he would be kicking down my door to take the children.
  • I have spoken to CAFCASS today. They are doing home visits in July.
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