I need some help please. Baby shows some signs of autism.

DVardysShadow

lily76 wrote: »

There is early intervention and no one knows the reason for autism. All I want to do is to communicate more with my baby. If he is not autistic it would not change him into one. Even he is a NT baby to communicate more won't do him any bad. I need to know how as my baby has some communicational delay. I am currently teaching him how to point by showing it my self. His problem lies in pointing and language.

Depends what you mean by 'early intervention'. I doubt you will prevent it. At 21 months, I doubt the condition has really begun to develop - AIUI, autism seems to be an alternative development path when the terrible 2's start. So it seems to me that you are being premature.

While plainly you will not bring about autism, I think you do risk some unintended consequences. Like if the professionals find you to be over anxious, then this could keep you on track to be dismissed for a very long time - possibly delaying acceptance of any problem for a year or more.

I think you need to approach this far more open mindedly and with much more open questions. Not: "He is not pointing, therefore he is probably autistic". More like: "He is not pointing. At what age would you expect a child to be pointing? Is he too old for this just to be late development? What are the possible causes?"

And if pointing is a normal unaided instinctive development, but you try and teach it, you are beginning to muddy the waters for any professional who gets involved.

ETA: FWIW, I tend to agree that not pointing at that age is probably unusual. But if for example, he is myopic, he may just not have the need to point. Everything within his world may be within reach and he just cannot see anything else. Or any one of a dozen possible issues. Would you want to be in an uphill battle to get him diagnosed as autistic at 5, when a pair of specs might fix his problem at age 3?

emsywoo123

DS is nearly 19 months does not point. But I do not think he is autistic, nor do I think he is anywhere on that spectrum.

OP it sounds like there is alot going on (you mentioned depression in a pot about your GP) and that you are pushing to "get all the treatment he needs."

He maybe does not need any help in the way you are suggesting?

Nicki

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Depends what you mean by 'early intervention'. I doubt you will prevent it. At 21 months, I doubt the condition has really begun to develop - AIUI, it seems to be an alternative development path when the terrible 2's start. So it seems to me that you are being premature.

While plainly you will not bring about autism, I think you do risk some unintended consequences. Like if the professionals find you to be over anxious, then this could keep you on track to be dismissed for a very long time - possibly delaying acceptance of any problem for a year or more.

I think you need to approach this far more open mindedly and with much more open questions. Not: "He is not pointing, therefore he is probably autistic". More like: "He is not pointing. At what age would you expect a child to be pointing? Is he too old for this just to be late development? What are the possible causes?"

And if pointing is a normal unaided instinctive development, but you try and teach it, you are beginning to muddy the waters for any professional who gets involved.

I think it's far more likely that if the child does learn to point and develops speech before the assessment, then it will turn out he is not autistic but just a bit slower than usual to develop, but if he does not, despite help from his mum then that will be significant

Most children learn from observing their parents and being gently encouraged to copy them. It is a bit bonkers to suggest that you wouldn't help a child, who has not been diagnosed with anything at all at the moment, to acquire an age appropriate skill , because if he has that skill he won't later get a diagnosis. Assessment for autism is a lot more sophisticated than that in most areas.

AFAIU, it is the desire to communicate which is instinctive and can't be taught, along with the understanding that you can influence what people think by communicating your needs or desires to them. The actual form of communication, be that pointing, eye gazing, sign, speech, etc is learned by observation.

DVardysShadow

Nicki wrote: »

.... Most children learn from observing their parents and being gently encouraged to copy them. It is a bit bonkers to suggest that you wouldn't help a child, who has not been diagnosed with anything at all at the moment, to acquire an age appropriate skill , because if he has that skill he won't later get a diagnosis. Assessment for autism is a lot more sophisticated than that in most areas

I take your point, apart from the particular word you use. And I accept the gentle encouragement to copy. But I do suspect we are looking somewhere on a spectrum over the half way mark towards an over-anxious mum who will bloody mindedly make the child point in the hope of averting autism.

Nicki

Just because she has had PND doesn't mean her child isn't delayed though, and that she isn't right to check this out.

My story is that I had bad PND after my second child was born, and we didn't focus unduly on the fact that she wasn't talking by 18 months and assumed it was due to the upheavals in the family caused by my illness. It was a pushy HV who thought there might be more to it, and had her assessed and now she is 11 and quite clearly autistic.

My third child is 2 and a half, and although he has some speech he is also delayed. I don't think he is autistic as he is quite communicative non verbally, but I have asked for him to be referred to an SLT for an assessment on his delay and therapy if he needs it, and in the meantime am using all the SLT techniques we were taught with DD to try to get him speaking more. Am not in the least concerned this will mask anything, would just rather that by the time he gets to the top of the waiting list to see the SLT, that the appointment is no longer needed.

Back to OP, at 21 months it is entirely appropriate to be encouraging communication, and it doesn't matter what the mum's motivation is, whether she is worried about autism, or a pushy yummy mummy coaching her kid for some posh prep school. Though I haven't read anything in any of OP's posts to suggest she is anything other than a good parent looking out for her child, and she doesn't come across in the least "bloody minded" to me.

quintwins

lily76 wrote: »

Thank you Quintwins. How is your brother now?

You need to be really pushy to get the medical help you want given the nature of the NHS system. I am not blaming it cus there are a lot of people in need of help but only we know our little darlings. My little one is walking but not in a very steady way and always need an aid, a little truck or his own pushchair. He is a massive boy so I also wonder he might need more calcium. We are going to see the physiotherapist in a month. The physio could not find anything wrong with his movement.

I think you really need to be a little bit pushy on your GP or medical service, why it should be waited until he is 6? I will try every way to get all the possible help and keep my son get all the treatment he needs.

I was always told by other people that when it comes to school age they all walk and talk. I do hope this is true.

Best wishes for your little ones.

We have had alot of help, my brotehr wasn't diagnoised tol he was 12, due mainly to teh fact my other didn't wnat to beleive there was a problem, the reason for the delay in getting him seen is that until they are 6 they are still sene as able to catch up and it won't effect there day to day living, we no longer have huge melt downs, and the fact that he can't hold a pencil won't hold him back at this age when he's not expected to eb able to write alot, he knows the letter formations just struggles with his fine motor skills, the main concern is his social skills at the moment, however he is a twin and the school have agreed to keep them togther next year even tho thats not there usual policy so again not effecting his day to day living or causing upset.

By the time he goes for his autirm review he will have had another block of OT (making it 3 blocks) another block of physio (making it 2 and 1/2 blocks- first block was cut short as they thought ot would be more help) and another block of speech (4 blocks), this is really all the help he'll receive after aswell other than maybe the odd workshop and lots more advise for me (which i know given from my brother) so he's not missing out of anything by waiting 6 months.


My brother now has a small group of friends, 7 gcse's he is currently at further education, he delt with the biggest change in his life and 2 house moves in the last year no problem, for a child who can't deal with change he did really well. however at 18 has yet to have a girlfriend, he'll get there in his own time, thats my moto if your child needs help and your willing to accept it he'll get it either from gp ect or once he starts school, however he is still young and i really do feel you've googled it and paniced, trust me i've seen it (another member of my family had autism aswell so both ends of the scale) your child may need additional help they may not, but they will deal with there issues in there own way, he'll be happy the way he is aslong as you don't make a big deal about it.


i hope that made sense and i'm not rambling.

DVardysShadow

Nicki wrote: »

.... My third child is 2 and a half, and although he has some speech he is also delayed. I don't think he is autistic as he is quite communicative non verbally, but I have asked for him to be referred to an SLT for an assessment on his delay and therapy if he needs it, and in the meantime am using all the SLT techniques we were taught with DD to try to get him speaking more. Am not in the least concerned this will mask anything, would just rather that by the time he gets to the top of the waiting list to see the SLT, that the appointment is no longer needed.

Back to OP, at 21 months it is entirely appropriate to be encouraging communication, and it doesn't matter what the mum's motivation is, whether she is worried about autism, or a pushy yummy mummy coaching her kid for some posh prep school. Though I haven't read anything in any of OP's posts to suggest she is anything other than a good parent looking out for her child, and she doesn't come across in the least "bloody minded" to me.

Clearly, you are open minded for your own children.

I don't have any problem with encouraging communication. But quite often we see here that for some children, the tap stays firmly shut until it suddenly open. Clearly, OP is stressed about the situation and I do hope she does not let the stress drive her.

lily76

Thanks for all the replies. I am far better now and I will leave everything for the professionals but do add more communication with my baby. I think I do over-worry everything. If I am not happy my baby will sense that and won't be happy as well. This is what I don't want.

BTW, teaching him pointing only means I will point something to show to him and my baby most of the time will look at them. We had a lot of eye contacts yesterday and when he finished a pot of yogurt by himself using a spoon with a little help from me, he couldn't control his giggling and laughing at me. He even feeds one of his most favourite biscuit to me.

He does get everything he wants very easily as I am a good mind reader. I don't have PND, but I did experience some huge depression last week. Now I am out of it and my baby will catch up I believe.

Quintwins, I am so happy to see your brother making such a great progress. I will take your point not to worry too early or too much but I will keep those two appointments.

Nicki, thanks so much for your understanding. I will order the book to enhance the communication between us. Now I don't do too much housework, just sit on floor and play with my baby or take him out for a walk. He is very happy now. When I was down last week, he was down as well even though I smiled to him. He has been always very happy but last week when I checked every activity from him. Thank God I am out of it now. I wish your DD get well soon.

DVardysShadow

lily76 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. I am far better now and I will leave everything for the professionals but do add more communication with my baby. I think I do over-worry everything. If I am not happy my baby will sense that and won't be happy as well. This is what I don't want.

BTW, teaching him pointing only means I will point something to show to him and my baby most of the time will look at them. We had a lot of eye contacts yesterday and when he finished a pot of yogurt by himself using a spoon with a little help from me, he couldn't control his giggling and laughing at me. He even feeds one of his most favourite biscuit to me.

Sounds good to me. Particularly giving you a biscuit shows a social dimension to him.

Penny_Watcher

Has your little boy had his hearing tested? My youngest daughter (now 15 and a complete chatterbox) had glue ear as a toddler. She was very introverted, uncommunicative and lacked social skills. This was all because she couldn't hear properly to learn to talk. Surgery and speech therapy brought her back to 'normal'.

Hope this helps