ex refusing to take maintainence payments

kevin137

johnnyl wrote: »

ive done it....its a hell of a lot

I am trying to pay but she wants nothing. It is possible that she is just claiming eveything and doesnt need my cash.

As a question, morals and ethics aside. What are the implications of me just not paying? Ive asked her what she wants and it is nothing. Could I just sit on this cash until the times comes for a formal separation involve the CSA then go for the divorce?

I was under the impression that if she claims certain benefits then these will want to know who the father is and that they will then track down and involve the CSA anyway. Is this how it works?

Sorry all for harrassing you.

The implications for you not paying are the divorce courts and getting screwed there...

YOU can involve the CSA yourself, and then it is done. If you do this, then they will assess at 25% of income as per there calculator, but i am NOT sure what happens if she rejects the process. This could go against her in the court if she is trying for a payout there. But it is best done through them if you can....!

You cannot accrue arrears on a CSA claim if there has not been one opened, and either of you can do this.

The court may look at a divorce and say you have paid nothing so we will take that into account. If you have opted a case with the CSA that is not possible, if she rejects a CSA claim then i would assume the court will also reject this as well and advise you go back through that route.

It is about protecting yourself, nothing else.

There are many who don;t want to pay, and at £600 while you may be able to afford more, if that is the assessment you can get through the CSA there is nothing to stop you paying for the extras as others suggest, like school trips, uniforms, clothes etc. It is about being fair for you all....!

johnnyl

Oh, it is all about games being played, retaining power and hoping that I will come back. The children are being used too with variable access.

It seems that the best option is to avoid the temptation of paying nothing and living "the high life" instead doing as much as I can to force the payment.

The problem I can see here though is that I cant win. Going off what has been said then I have to involved the CSA, she doesnt have to take it. If then I want to separate I can only go via divorce to which she can use the CSA a year later and I pay twice. There is no avoiding that as far as I can see.

Cheers again everyone.

kevin137

johnnyl wrote: »

Oh, it is all about games being played, retaining power and hoping that I will come back. The children are being used too with variable access.

It seems that the best option is to avoid the temptation of paying nothing and living "the high life" instead doing as much as I can to force the payment.

The problem I can see here though is that I cant win. Going off what has been said then I have to involved the CSA, she doesnt have to take it. If then I want to separate I can only go via divorce to which she can use the CSA a year later and I pay twice. There is no avoiding that as far as I can see.

Cheers again everyone.

If she refuses CSA, then if it got to court for the settlement, you would have the paperwork from them showing willing to instigate payment. But that you would be happier for it to proceed through the CSA should she indeed decide to change her mind...

The court would be reluctant to make an order when you have already tried, and there would only be one option for them... To advise she goes through the CSA

Mojisola

Have you got it in writing that you have offered maintenance and she's refused it? She said/he said arguments won't be given any weight in court.

kevin137

Mojisola wrote: »

Have you got it in writing that you have offered maintenance and she's refused it? She said/he said arguments won't be given any weight in court.

Which is why going through the CSA is great, if she refuses it, the court will look at that and he will have the opportunity to prove he tried and is willing to pay through legislation already provided...

johnnyl

Mojisola wrote: »

Have you got it in writing that you have offered maintenance and she's refused it? She said/he said arguments won't be given any weight in court.

Yes, in both texts and Emails

Mojisola

johnnyl wrote: »

Oh, it is all about games being played, retaining power and hoping that I will come back. The children are being used too with variable access.

Some people do associate maintenance with access but, legally, the two are quite separate. If she thinks that she will have more control over when you see your children if you're not paying maintenance, she's wrong.

johnnyl

Mojisola wrote: »

Some people do associate maintenance with access but, legally, the two are quite separate. If she thinks that she will have more control over when you see your children if you're not paying maintenance, she's wrong.

aye, I know they are unlinked, I probably didnt explain that well.

What I meant was that she pretty much wants me to come back, and by sorting the child maintainence is another step in the other direction.

The kids being used is a different issue, are essentailly being used to punish me for walking out.

Both are separate examples of the games that are being played.

Mojisola

johnnyl wrote: »

aye, I know they are unlinked, I probably didnt explain that well.

What I meant was that she pretty much wants me to come back, and by sorting the child maintainence is another step in the other direction.

The kids being used is a different issue, are essentailly being used to punish me for walking out.

Both are separate examples of the games that are being played.

Sounds like you're in for a rocky ride before things get settled.