How much allowance for teenagers?

gibson123

Thank you, I must admit though the best bit is knowing exactly what is going out and not having that whole "can I have" discussion every five minutes.

jayII

gibson123 wrote: »

Expecting teenagers to have initiative ....:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

They don't understand this, every teenager I have ever met is entirely self-centred and self obsessed, its all me me me. They will only take action when it impacts directly on them. So unless you use reward and punishment you haven't a hope. I am reliably informed by my older sisters, that they do grow out of this self obsession and in the meantime I am an angel of patience and serenity whilst quietly seething inside. :A:A:A

They're not too bad, to be fair. As I said above, both do their allocated chores, offer to help out if we're busy and generally do whatever I ask without complaining. As teenagers go they're very good natured and easy to live with. It's just that they don't plan ahead and do the paid extra jobs when they know they need cash.

Mojisola wrote: »

So Mum and Dad work hard round the house - does anyone pay you?

Kids aged 15 and 16 can do jobs but get paid for them and usually are too lazy to bother?

There are basically four adults in the house and two of them have servants!

Youngsters of that age should be sharing the household jobs. I never got into paying our kids for chores round the house - we all live there, we all make mess, want to eat, etc, so we all help with the work but, as you're starting from that position, I would give a very limited allowance and then the rest is earned.

You also need to add the proviso that the job is done when it needs to be done without any moaning. Grumbling or delaying chores leads to a reduction in pay.

As I posted earlier, they do their allocated chores without any fuss and help out additionally whenever they're asked to, but I see that as part of being a family. I've never said that they're too lazy to bother or anything of the sort. We all, they included, pull our weight around the house and garden so we're not starting from an unequal position. What I did say was that we have a list of extra, paid chores such as cleaning the car that they can do if they're so inclined.

I'd never expect them to do as much as me as they are my children and running a small family home really isn't that hard. Yes I work hard at home, but I also have tons of free time and I'm happy with the status quo.

You're entitled to your opinion but I didn't actually ask for advice on how many chores my teenagers should do, just what is a reasonable amount for expenses.

jayII

gibson123 wrote: »

Thank you, I must admit though the best bit is knowing exactly what is going out and not having that whole "can I have" discussion every five minutes.

That is the bit I'm looking forward to most.

gibson123

jayII wrote: »

They're not too bad, to be fair. As I said above, both do their allocated chores, offer to help out if we're busy and generally do whatever I ask without complaining. As teenagers go they're very good natured and easy to live with. It's just that they don't plan ahead and do the paid extra jobs when they know they need cash.

I am with you on this, my DD will help out when she sees me working, if I wash the dishes she will pick up a towel, if I am cleaning the car, she will pick up a sponge, but actually deciding what to do and when seems to be beyond her. She is not lazy or uncooperative, it just does not seem to be in a teenagers make up to plan ahead and be pro-active.

theoldcynic

Wow your children are very very lucky lol! I almost fell off my chair when I read how much you were proposing to give them, I am sure a lot of adults working full time don't even have that amount of disposable income to spend on extras, transport and cooked meals (when sandwiches are provided for too!). I was lucky to receive a tenth of that and still had to provide most things for myself and have a job and do daily chores at home. How things have changed! Can i live at your house lol!

Look in all seriousness the first thing that came to my mind was i am sure you are aware 15/16 year olds (even the most seemingly sensible ones) are still at a very influential age and still prone to making a lot of wrong choices. IMO £140 a month, is a hell of a lot of money to be making those wrong choices with. I'd be keeping a VERY close eye on what they are spending it on. It is amazing what teenagers will go without, sacrifice and deceive when they are set on making those wrong choices, especially if essentials are still available and provided for in the house (even if not theirs) and the parents are easily emotionally blackmailed (your admittance).

Your problems may end up being larger than them whinging about pocket money, and you could be unwittingly enabling them.

I say this with concern not with criticism in mind, just something I would be aware of.

System

Wow my son must be hard up then. He gets £8 a week bus fares (even though he's only going in for exams and walks) and his Dad pays for his £15 a month phone top up.

rachhh

£140 a month?! That's a lot more than most people I know at uni live on after rent!
I used to get £45 a month between 2008 and 2010 when I was at 6th form. This was enough for clothes, bus fare, make up, going out with friends and the odd night out. Even the richest kids I used to know didn't get £140 a month.
Obviously inflation is a lot higher than I thought!

jayII

Thank you all, lots of different opinions, as I expected.

poet123

It may sound a lot because it is being given as a spend as you please lump sum, but if I add up all we pay out for our youngest it would probably equate to the same amount, but it is drip fed to him, which he seems to be happy with. As he gets older and goes to college we may do a mix of the two systems. Really though, all parents have to find what suits them and their young adult and hopefully the two are the same!!

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

So Mum and Dad work hard round the house - does anyone pay you?

Kids aged 15 and 16 can do jobs but get paid for them and usually are too lazy to bother?

There are basically four adults in the house and two of them have servants!

Youngsters of that age should be sharing the household jobs. I never got into paying our kids for chores round the house - we all live there, we all make mess, want to eat, etc, so we all help with the work

I have to agree with this.

we got £25 a month pocket money as teenagers (that wasn't for any essentials, just extras), we also had to help around the house and tidy up after ourselves, but the two weren't in any way connected!

Paying kids for chores around the house gives the impression that its ok to choose not to do the chores if they're ok with not having the money, surely?

To the people expecting their kids to get jobs at 16, remember that it isn't nearly as easy to do that as it used to be.