teaching daughter the value of money

a_brand_new_me

Hi,
i REALLY wish I was taught about money as a child! I also have a 5 year old daughter and know how easy it is to spend money on them that we just don't have. However I have come to realise that this does not benefit her or us at all - in fact it mirrors my own past behaviour of wanting something now and not willing to save for it - hence my debt problem! I really want to teach her the value of money, something I learned the hard way. For the last year I have been giving her £0.50 - £1 a week in return for keeping her room tidy, setting the table, helping with dishes etc. At first she used to spend it straight away but as she gets a little older it is beginning to dawn on her that if she saves for longer she can get what she really wants and when she has saved enough she really enjoys choosing it and spending it. Very cute to see her clutching her little purse and paying! I don't think there is a minimum age to teach your children how to look after money and save and hopefully they will remember what you taught them as thay get older and not get tempted like I was by loans and credit cards as a very inexperienced 18 year old. And learning to say No to our children every time they want something will help stop them becoming spoilt and indulged (hopefully!!) and much nicer little people (that's the idea anyway!). Good luck! x

mandymoo86

and i know its my fault im in debt i just meant its because of me buying her things that is counting towards it not that it is actually her fault

Learning2Budget

I have a little girl, similar age. She has learnt that to get pennies in her piggy she has to help at home e.g be nice to her sister, set the table, tidy up after herself etc. She doesn't get weekly pocket money just adhoc if i feel she has been good.
I buy her a little bag if sweets in the shop if she helps put things in the trolley and behaves.....any whining and she goes without.

She understands that we don't have Lots of pennies spare but that makes her treats more special. If that makes sens? .L2B.x

mandymoo86

a brand new me that has actually really helped me thankyou :-) its nice to know im not alone x

linz

Just reading some of the other good answers on here..

I remember when I was about 10 or 11 years old and I was at a do at my dads local golf club, stood by a tombola mithering for another £1 so I could have another go, despite the fact i'd already had about 2 goes.

Anyway, I must have really annoyed my dad as he told me that I was not going to get another penny off him and if I wanted money I was to go out and get a paper round and start saving for and buying things for myself.

I thought he was so mean and tight at the time, but looking back now it was one of the best things he ever did. I went and got a paper round with my brother but he sacked it after about 1 month coz he couldn't be bothered with the early mornings so I had to do the whole round, which wasn't small, but I also got all the pay at the end of the week - £13 which was a lot back then. I was able to save this and started buying my own clothes when I was allowed into town on my own and also loved the feeling of saving it each week so that I had nearly £50 by the end of the month.

Sorry to go on, and hijacking your thread, but I am so grateful for the tightness of my dad all those years ago, it taught me so careful with money. Hope you find something that works for you and that your daughter does learn that money doesn't grow on trees.

RuthnJasper

Hi Mandy,

I know how you must feel. Especially if you are really tired and your daughter decides to play "the little madam" for all she's worth - it's so easy to give in. But that way really does lead to trouble in the end, because she's only going to get bigger and the things she demands will become more expensive.

My nephew is 7 - he is a bit too young for pocket-money, but he is encouraged to save money he gets for birthday/Christmas/visits to grandparents. Just as an example, he really wanted a toy that was very expensive. My brother and sister-in-law are better-off financially than I am, but they told him that he had to save up for it himself if he really DID want it. Then, when he had saved up just over half the amount he needed, they said that because he had been very good and sensible then they would pay the other half of the cost as his birthday present.

I was pretty impressed with that, because it encouraged him to look at the "saving-up as much as he could" experience as being positive and worthwhile, rather than something negative and boring. I also think it makes children appreciate and look after their possessions a bit more if they have had to stump up at least some of the cash for them.

If you thought your little girl was a bit young for actual cash-in-hand, maybe you could say that you have a budget for her of, say, £3. Then write down on a bit of paper in nice colours where she can see it how much is spent each time she gets something and how much is remaining? Just an idea...

Best of luck - it probably won't be pleasant to start with (!) but it WILL get easier and it IS worthwhile. Like 'A Brand New Me', I REALLY wish I'd been taught these good principles when I was younger. xx

DVardysShadow

I think there are 2 separate issues here

• Money is finite and once you have spent it is is gone
• Money is earned

To my mind, the 2 issues are being confused in the responses. For a 5 year old, she is too young for the second lesson - a 5 year old is too young to have any talents which can meaningfully be used for demonstrating 'earning'. If you give her artificial or contrived tasks, it will set up wrong expectations for later on - she will expect even more money at age 8 for tasks which are appropriate to a 5 year old.

For now, the first lesson is enough. Give her her own money, let her make her own choices with that and let her learn that when her money runs out, she cannot buy.

Later on, you can teach her that money can be earned as well as given.

wannabee_in_credit

My kids are 3 and 7 and they get £2 a week each from their granny - if they have been good. The youngest is too young to understand and it just goes into a tin and is saved. However, the eldest has a good understanding of the fact that if you want something then you need to be prepared to make choices and that you can't just have something because you want it. They get one 'treat' a week foodwise on the weekly shop, and their pocket money is theirs to do as they wish. For example, my eldest wanted a new game for the Wii a few months ago (£35). I told her to save and wait, but as she was so desperate she kept asking me to lend her the money and she'd pay me back. So I bought the game, and in fairness to her she gave me every penny she had as soon as she got it. A couple of weeks ago she'd paid back £28, and as she'd worked so hard I told her that it was paid as far as I was concerned. We're off on holiday in a few weeks and she's madly saving for that. The little one already has his spends... That's not to say we won't buy them anything while we're away, just that they need to know that some things need to be saved for.
I don't think it's ever too early to learn that you can't always get what you want, and that sometimes you have to make a choice about what you can afford. Hopefully my kids won't make the same mistakes with money as I did.

Elmgravy

I find it incomprehensible that responsible adults, or people who consider themselves responsible adutls, do not teach their children how to budget and handle money! Both my daughters were given an allowance at the age of 12 - which started on around £30/month, and they had to buy all their clothes, except school uniform, shoes and coats, they also used to to pay for social outings, Christmas and birthday presents etc.. They are now 20 and 22, at uni and know how to budget, how to work out their financial priorities, are adamant that they will only use debit cards and not credit cards, (althought it remains to be seen how long this will last!) and don't spend money until they have it! They also know how to appreciate the value of saving up for something they really want.

The schools need to step in as well. Is it any wonder that the country gets itself into massive debt when we do not teach our future adults how to budget?

nonnatus

Good Grief! This is the whole problem with that generation, we are breeding a group of children who won't accept "No" as an answer. Because there is a group of parents unwilling to set boundaries and say "No" more often because "it makes them sad to see their children getting upset"
These children toddle off to school believing they can do whatever they please because they are in charge.

Never mind about the money at the moment OP, teach your daughter basic manners and respect for authority (yours and all other grown-ups) by setting rules and sticking to them.
She will be distressed and miserable in the short term but will VERY QUICKLY adapt. In six months you will have a happy, well adjusted child and no more conflict.

Simples

(maybe Mr Cameron would consider paying me for this basic parenting lesson :rotfl:)