Dilemmas of a Wedding Guest

anibell

Hi OP :hello:

As a soon to be bride (Yay!) I am feeling guilty about friends and family having to pay out for travel, outfits etc etc. Yes, we've invited people we want to be there and yes, they all want to come, but it doesn't stop me feeling bad. It would kill me to find out that someone was struggling financially and that they felt the need to get us a present/go to the hen night/new outfits/hotel/travel etc. We haven't asked for anything as guests coming are present enough. We don't need/want anything either.

If you feel you want to do something a homemade card is a great idea. I for one would love it You don't have to feel compelled to put anything in the card either.

Just my two cents :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

McKneff wrote: »

How about just saying you are going away on holiday, its already booked and send them £50, it will be a lot cheaper in the long run.

The only people I would do all the travelling etc for would be close family

My answer too - except I would maybe say "It's very very far, we cannot afford to come here is £50-100 as a wedding gift, have a great time!"

I would not dream of expecting guests to pay out £100's in order to celebrate our wedding with us, get hotels etc and wouldn't be offended if they cannot come because it's too far to travel/expensive transport/paying for hotels

(but then our whole wedding is coming in at under £2500 for c.100 guests)

Idiophreak

mrsnolimits wrote: »

So an old friend of mine is getting married. The ceremony is far from where we live and we dont have a car, so in order to go, we have to get a 5.5hr train AND spend two nights in a hotel (an early train on the day of the wedding wont get us there in time). This alone is going to cost us a couple of hundred pounds, not taking into account food and drinks outside of the wedding, taxis to the venue etc.

You don't state whether you can actually drive or not...if so, have you just considered renting a car? You can normally pick up a car on Friday night and have it back on Monday and not pay much more than £50. Get something small and you probably won't spend more than £50 or £60 on petrol. Then you wouldn't need the hotel and there would be no need to worry about getting to/from the venue. And, by virtue of one of you driving, you're likely to spend less on drinks at the wedding anyway.

reformedEffortmaker

OP, I cant add much to the many useful posts above other than to say that I am getting married in Dec and if a friend gave me £20 I would not see that as a 'small' or 'offensive' amount.
Please dont feel embarrased/pressured into spending more, at most weddings I have been to where I have done that, no one notices anyway...

Birdie85

I'd be tempted to give the hen party a miss (if your money is refundable), sadly we can't always afford to go along with what our friends want us to do and it takes a big person to admit it!

I'm a little crafty and for the last 2 weddings I've been to I've bought a cheap frame (about A4 size) and made a fancy scrapbook style layout to go inside using the couples wedding colours, their names, wedding date and a quote from a reading I knew they were having. I left an obvious space for them to stick a wedding photo in so they could add it after the day. They seem to have been well received as they showed a lot of thought and effort but only cost about £5-£10 to make. For a wedding before that I used Amazon vouchers that I'd earned through a review website to buy the couple a popcorn maker, it cost us nothing but the couple thought it was brilliant and appreciated us thinking outside of the box!

We're off to another wedding this summer and I was wondering what to get the couple and I really like the idea of the honeymoon hamper so I'll be borrowing that idea lazer, thank you!