maintenance deductions?

level200

Hi Everyone

My ex-wife and I came to an agreement of what maintenance payment I should pay each month. Lately my daughter has been staying over with me along with her friend. Should I deduct a percentage from the monthly maintenance that i pay my ex to cover food etc.. On the days that my daughter stays over?

clearingout

depends....

if you go through the CSA, they would deduct 1/7 for every night you had the child over an average of 52 weeks (you only get the reduction if you are expected to have the child one night a week for a year, they don't allow you to reassess everytime you miss a night or have an extra night. It's calculated in blocks of 52).

Are you paying in line with CSA calcluations at the moment? I would suggest if you're paying less than what you would with the CSA then it would be sensible to leave it. If you're paying more, you have little to lose.

Morally consider the impact the loss of any money may have on your child's household. That, and the potential impact the reduction could have on your relationship with your ex and consequently your daughter.

level200

Hi
Its an informal arrangement with my ex and I have used the CSA guidelines to work out what I should pay. I am living on my own and money is tight, she now has her affair living with her. he is also working so money for them at the moment is ok.

Seanymph

I think you have to ask your wife not us.... she obviously has the same bills whether your child is there or not. So leaving her short suddenly may cause hardship.

But you can moot the point that you can't afford as much whilst also providing for your child under your roof...... what you don't want is for your wife to limit access in order to obtain maintenance.

Judith_W

If you are using CSA guidelines I would say start a conversation about it, if you are also paying for other ad hoc expenses that come up, e.g. school trips etc. If you are only paying maintenance then you might be surprised at how uneven yours and ex's expenses are.

kingfisherblue

level200 wrote: »

Hi
Its an informal arrangement with my ex and I have used the CSA guidelines to work out what I should pay. I am living on my own and money is tight, she now has her affair living with her. he is also working so money for them at the moment is ok.

What a horrible phrase. My ex had an affair and left our children and myself to be with her, but I would never refer to her in this way - at the end of the day, 'her affair' is helping to support the household in which your daughter lives for most of the time.

level200

kingfisherblue wrote: »

What a horrible phrase. My ex had an affair and left our children and myself to be with her, but I would never refer to her in this way - at the end of the day, 'her affair' is helping to support the household in which your daughter lives for most of the time.

I say it as I see it.
If I put glitter on dog crap is still dog crap!

floss2

level200 wrote: »

.... I am living on my own and money is tight, she now has her affair living with her. he is also working so money for them at the moment is ok.

How do you know? Have you asked to see their bank statements or are you going by the assumption that 2 incomes = lots of money?

He may be paying maintenance / mortgage / bills to a previous partner & family; they may have a large childcare bill for after-school care for your daughter; they may be paying off debts; he may have a massive tax bill or be paying a large amount into a pension to build it up after a splitting order.

Unless you have all the facts, don't make assumptions about someone's financial situation.

FBaby

Regardless of how you feel about the guy she left you for (I do agree with what you refer him as!), it is not up to him to support your children. You are still their dad, it is you they love as such, they remain your and your ex's responsibility.

The key thing is what you are paying in relation to what you would be if going to the csa. If you are paying less, you are taking the chance she will go via them, and reduce the times you have your daughter occasional over in addition to what was agreed. Not worth it. If however you are paying above, you could remind her of that fact and ask if it is ok if the weeks she stays a bit longer, you provide less. If she doesn't agree, she is the one losing out...

kingfisherblue

level200 wrote: »

I say it as I see it.
Glitter on dog crap is still dog crap!

So why have dog crap bringing up your daughter?

DylanO

level200 wrote: »

I say it as I see it.
Glitter on dog crap is still dog crap!

I'm pretty sure it's still glitter.