Costs of Raising the children

ToughCooky

Hello All

I'm new, be nice lol

To fill you in a little... I split with my partner of 14 years in the middle of 2010. We have two children who are now 7 and 4. We owned a house together and also had debts of around £15k. We agreed that I'd pay him £20,000 and i'd carry the debt and the house would transfer to my name. There was about £50,000 equity in the house at the time. He had been made redundant and was trying to set up a new business but basically could not quite be bothered. Prefers copious amounts of online gaming (part of the reason for split)

I agreed i'd give him time to sort himself and not request any money but obviously i'd require him to do his share with the children.

Fast forward to middle of 2011 and he was having them maybe 4 hours on a sunday and i put my foot down and said its not fair and not enough. He now takes them for a full weekend every other weekend. As he is still living at his mothers and its too small for them as well, he either takes them to a BnB or other family for the weekend.

He always claimed he couldnt get a place because the business wasnt working and he couldnt claim anything as he was self employed. Now he has closed the business down but unsure of signing on as they will take his little nest egg into consideration!

So we are basically in this no mans land. Hes claiming he cant get a job but i found him two through agencies i deal with at work, the hours were too much or they were mean to him :mad:

Apart from a couple of haircuts, 2 pairs of shoes and some birthday presents, theres been no other financial input which to a point is fine as that was the agreement BUT we are now well into 2012 and im getting fed up tbh. I pay over £450 just to go to work and pay everything that they need.

Its been fairly amicable and id like to remain so but im growing really tired. I've recently met a new partner and its not really fair for him to pick up this tab either.

What costs should I expect him to put towards? I'm thinking clothes, school costs etc. I also put money away for them for when they are older.

What are my rights if he refuses? Since he doesnt sign on as hes living rent free at his mums and has a savings egg he sits on.

I'd also like opinions on if im being reasonable? You kind of feel like you lost perspective sometimes when you "in it"

Sorry for the babble. I feel abit better just having a yarn about it lol

podperson

Would say look at getting some advice on whether you'd have a chance at getting him to contribute through CSA - not sure if they take savings into account or if it's purely based on their income.
When you say you're having to pay to work is this in childcare costs? If so, could he take them for some of these times since he doesn't seem to be doing much else!
I agree it's not unreasonable for him to be contributing something towards the children if he does have his savings he's living off. If it's amicable then could start by at least broaching the subject with him, think about what you would like him to contribute to then you at least have a starting point.