3 year old still not sleeping through the night please help!

spartacusthe1st

She has always been a very bad sleeper I can count on two hands how many times she has slept through the night since she was born.

First of all she is fully potty trained and has been since 2 1/2 including through the night.
She wakes up calling me and not crying but whinging, her excuses are she needs a drink/wee/teddy that has fallen on the floor/cuddle/dummy that has fallen on floor or lost in bed. Etc
She has a toddler bed so she is only 2 foot off the floor so can easily Rach down and pick up item fallen on the floor, and she has a small table attached to bed so she can easily get her drink/turn on her music.

I have tried cutting out her sleeps/cutting them down and also cutting them out.
She still wakes up regardless of naps she does/doesn't have, due to being overtired or not tired enough?

I can't leave her to cry because she is so stubborn she will literally cry all night long,also my hubby gets up for work at 4:30am so it's not fair on him.

Has anyone got any suggestions? Thanks:o

fluffnutter

She's not learnt to settle herself and, tbh, she won't learn anytime soon if you continue to go in to her. You're just reinforcing the message that if she calls for you, you come.

I don't see how you're going to resolve this unless you start leaving her. I doubt changing her routine to make her more tired will make any difference; the fact is she's waking at night and she doesn't know how to settle herself. The practicalities are irrelevant (I can't reach drink/teddy etc), she just wants you there. She's never really learnt to soothe herself by the sounds of it (not your fault, some kids are just poorer sleepers than others).

Have you actually tried leaving her? Does she really cry all night? I completely understand that even a few minutes of a crying child is distressing, but I'm not convinced she'd genuinely cry all night.

Alternatively, you can keep going in to her and just accept the broken nights' sleep. She'll grow out of it eventually.

There will be a myriad of books on how to teach your child to settle at night. Have you tried any of the methods? They'll all mainly revolve around leaving her so if you're really serious about tackling this, you're going to have to get your head round the idea that she's going to cry and get worse for a few weeks before she gets better.

FatVonD

How is she getting to sleep in the first place, on her own or are you rocking/comforting her in some way?

spartacusthe1st

No she goes to bed and sleep fine she has a music lullaby thing she can turn on and it stays on for 15 mins then turns off.
Oooohh I know I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and leave her to cry and eventually she will learn to sleep properly.
Also it's her 3rd birthday next week so we are getting rid of the dummy which will make it evn worse!
Her older sister was a good sleeper and had no probs with getting rid of dummy either.
Chalk and cheese!
I kept going to her doing it quietly/light off etc hoping eventually she would grow out of it but here we are 3 years later still doing it!
Any yes she is extremely stubborn!

fluffnutter

TBH, lovey, I don't think she'll stop all the while that you're going in to her. Mind you, I've not heard of many 15 year olds still crying for mummy in the night, so I'm guessing they all grow out of it eventually

spartacusthe1st

Lol I should hope she grows out of it before then!
I think I will wait until we get rid of the dummy and do it all in one go!
Lol that did make me laugh :0)

masonsmum

I know I am a little different as my little one is younger but he turned 1 on the 4th May and I still felt as if I was at the newborn stage and after breaking down to my health visitor at his 1 year review she told me if I get up and feed him/comfort him he will always look for that.

So cue 1st night of controlled crying, he woke at 3am and I just lay him down again and tucked him in, cry cry cry, repeat the process every ten minutes of letting him know I was still there but just lying him back down and not talking, this lasted till 4.15am when he eventually dropped off, I have now had him sleeping through every night since then (last Sunday)

And OMG what a difference this is making to our lives, I feel so much better and OH and I are not snapping at each other, I know its tough but try it xx

the_cat

spartacusthe1st wrote: »

I kept going to her doing it quietly/light off etc hoping eventually she would grow out of it but here we are 3 years later still doing it!QUOTE]

Well yes, it sounds that she has trained you perfectly and sees no need to change her behaviour. Sorry, I know how hard it is and I do sympathise but, as you say, if you keep doing the same thing, you are going to get the same result

You need to set aside a few days to bite the bullet and tackle this. Try to arrange a specific time where your OH is at home (weekend or take a couple of days off?) so you can share the load during the day and both get a nap to keep your strength and sanity;).

And then change how you deal with her. Let her cry maybe or do that routine that Supernanny does? I'd stick with the dummy tbh for another few months - why take away something which might help just because she is a certain age? A bit longer won't hurt her

MX5huggy

What's dad doing?

For my 2.5 year old I am the bad cop. From 19:30 till 5:30 mummy is asleep I will entertain his diversion tactics for about 5 mins then it's good night sleep tight. Then I just go back and put him back as many times as it takes. He has a stair gate on his door so is not running round the house. It is very unusal for it to take more than 1 visit from me for him to go back to bed.

If he is ill or I am away it all goes to pot, but normally takes only 1 night to restore order.

spartacusthe1st

masonsmum wrote: »

I know I am a little different as my little one is younger but he turned 1 on the 4th May and I still felt as if I was at the newborn stage and after breaking down to my health visitor at his 1 year review she told me if I get up and feed him/comfort him he will always look for that.

So cue 1st night of controlled crying, he woke at 3am and I just lay him down again and tucked him in, cry cry cry, repeat the process every ten minutes of letting him know I was still there but just lying him back down and not talking, this lasted till 4.15am when he eventually dropped off, I have now had him sleeping through every night since then (last Sunday)

And OMG what a difference this is making to our lives, I feel so much better and OH and I are not snapping at each other, I know its tough but try it xx

Once I get up to her she is fine she will go bk to sleep almost straightaway then a few hrs later I will have to do it again so it's not like she is awake for hours on end ,she will go bk to sleep as soon as I have been in to her.

Thanks for all the advice.

Her dad is v hard of hearing and it's just easier if I get up instead of nudging him for ten mins trying to get him to do it!

Do you think I should cut out her naps as almost none of her friends still have sleep in the day?
I can't wait for a good nights sleep:T

the_cat

spartacusthe1st wrote: »

Her dad is v hard of hearing and it's just easier if I get up instead of nudging him for ten mins trying to get him to do it!

Yet you claim that you are following the current routine to prevent him being disturbed due to his early start??

Have you tried just not going in and seeing what happens. If she isn't actually crying before you spring into action, then you aren't giving her much of a chance to settle herself tbh.

I agree that for an easy life and a quick return to sleep yourself, it must be mighty tempting to do just that but a bit counter productive imo