Opening a new account...

bach230

There is more to this than just the title.

Basically my husband is a terrible spender and has landed us in pretty deep water. We have an overdraft limit of £2000 on our account and we've just started going over this in the last few weeks. We went to our bank a few weeks ago to try and get some help (we'd actually gone to set up an Isa for our son and the advisor wanted to help us with our joint account). The advisor we saw attempted to get us a loan to cover things but this didn't go through as I had to take an extra £2000 on top of my current car loan to bail the account out in October 2011 and they felt that they could end up lending us money only for things to go bad again.

My credit rating is pretty good from what I've been told.

Unfortunately no matter how many times my husband has been spoken to about his spending, nothing seems to be working and he just can't seem to stop spending.

My question is, though I would like to take his name off the joint account completely, I googled this earlier today and it doesn't seem possible due to the overdraft problem, I wonder whether it might be better (in some ways) to open up another account, just in my name, transfer all direct debits/standing orders to this account and pay off the outstanding money on the joint account.

Would this be possible/good idea with what is happening as we seem to be in a never ending circle where we just can't seem to get things better.

As a note, I am not a spender at all but have been having to use my own account and my isa to keep bailing out the account a lot lately. If I hadn't had to use my isa I would probably have a few thousand in there by now! My mum and her mum are also helping as much as they can to buy us some bits of shopping etc and my brother has also lent us £1000 which we are paying back by putting money into our sons isa but I feel incredibly guilty having to have them help us all the time :-(

[Deleted User]

bach230 wrote: »

There is more to this than just the title.

Basically my husband is a terrible spender and has landed us in pretty deep water. We have an overdraft limit of £2000 on our account and we've just started going over this in the last few weeks. We went to our bank a few weeks ago to try and get some help (we'd actually gone to set up an Isa for our son and the advisor wanted to help us with our joint account). The advisor we saw attempted to get us a loan to cover things but this didn't go through as I had to take an extra £2000 on top of my current car loan to bail the account out in October 2011 and they felt that they could end up lending us money only for things to go bad again.

My credit rating is pretty good from what I've been told.

Unfortunately no matter how many times my husband has been spoken to about his spending, nothing seems to be working and he just can't seem to stop spending.

My question is, though I would like to take his name off the joint account completely, I googled this earlier today and it doesn't seem possible due to the overdraft problem, I wonder whether it might be better (in some ways) to open up another account, just in my name, transfer all direct debits/standing orders to this account and pay off the outstanding money on the joint account.

Would this be possible/good idea with what is happening as we seem to be in a never ending circle where we just can't seem to get things better.

As a note, I am not a spender at all but have been having to use my own account and my isa to keep bailing out the account a lot lately. If I hadn't had to use my isa I would probably have a few thousand in there by now! My mum and her mum are also helping as much as they can to buy us some bits of shopping etc and my brother has also lent us £1000 which we are paying back by putting money into our sons isa but I feel incredibly guilty having to have them help us all the time :-(

I don't really understand your question. I think the first thing people will ask you to do is post your SOA.

tealady

Hi
Firstly do NOT have an account with a bank that is linked to your current one (there is a list somewhere). However this is only part of the problem, your husband needs to address why he is so bad with money, and he needs to accept the consequences and he may not whilst people keep bailing him out. Harsh I know but the reality is you could end up with no money and no availability to credit.

opinions4u

If you stop funding the joint account with salary there is a reasonable chance that they'll demand full and immediate repayment of the debt.

It sounds like controlling this foolish man's spending is the important thing.

While they won't take his name off the joint account while it is overdrawn, you need to take his access to it away.

No debit card. No cheque book. No online banking for him. Hand him his weekly spending money as cash each week. You need him to spend not a penny more than can be afforded.

If he feels he needs an account for himself get a savings account with an ATM only card.

One other thing, can you get to the root cause of his over spending? While it's possible that you are living with a stupid man, it's more likely that it's some sort of emotional crutch. Is there something in your relationship that could be changed or improved? Is the balance of control wrong in other areas?

Is he from a poor family? Does he feel the big "I am" by spending?

If you can actually address reasons you might be able to change the habit.

Barbeduk

His behaviour is totally out of order and he is very foolish and downright selfish to be expecting you and other members of the family to use their money to make up for his lack of control.

He is not behaving like a grown up so though it may sound awful, I think the above is the only way to go. Weekly spending money so that he can learn to save for the big stuff.

bach230

We have planned on him having weekly spending money but, although his spending is a main issue, getting the joint account back to a decent state is a major issue too. We just can't seem to get out of the position we are in and I'm losing more and more money by bailing out the account so we don't get charged for every day we are over our overdraft. My brother has offered to help as he has a small fortune from his job - he's an electrictian and still lives at home, but it would be how we would pay him back that would be the big issue.

My husband's family aren't poor but both my parents and his parents are of a more working class type family who just work, work, work and budget. My husband has been a spender for a very long time, from his teens onwards I believe so what really started him off I don't know though over the years he has lost a lot of family due to cancer and his best friend too, however I'm not sure exactly when his spending issues started.

poppasmurf_bewdley

Your husband isn't a terrible spender.

I'm a terrible spender.

Your husband is a very good spender, and that's the problem which needs to be solved.