Newbie - baffled by her neighbours' financial situation!

LandyAndy

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

What is fascinating to me is how a couple with one young child and another on the way can feel things are a bit "tight" in a three bedroomed detached house. That's the thing which truly baffles me about your little story.

My thought's exactly.

Clearlier

It's also really easy to be out of control if you've never been taught how to handle money. My parents were relatively high earners and rarely talked about money with any of their children. So far as I can tell money came in and money came out but budgeting was rarely done and certainly never demonstrated.

This is reflected in all of their children. My wife taught me to set up standing orders to move some income straight to savings which really helped and I've begun to budget for certain items but it's not ingrained in me at all and I don't think that I'm quite as much in control as I should be - working at it though. The rest of my siblings have various levels of debt - none of it is going to make them bankrupt but most of it isn't necessary and some of it should have been cleared months if not years ago.

RoaringTwenties

JJLandlord - I would say that my neighbour made it mybusiness by involving me in her situation, indeed, asking for my advice. As ithappens I like my neighbour and am going to miss her when she leaves. My firstpost was an observation on the difference between her choices and mine. I’m sadfor her that her choices have left her in a bit of a financial mess. Iunderstand that this forum is a place for a free and frank exchange of views,but I don’t feel that your response was particularly helpful or pleasant,especially as a first reply to a new poster. Your assertion that I should findmore friends or an occupation is in my view quite insulting. Perhaps if youhave nothing nice or helpful to say to me (or indeed anyone else) then youshould say nothing at all?

Bitterandtwisted (good username...) you haven’t met my son!A mad five year old can dominate a space! As it happens it’s a dinky house,smaller than many two bed terraces (modern builders don’t like giving up muchspace.) In any case, my desire to aspire for more space for my kids to grow upin – and to work hard to achieve it - is in my view perfectly reasonable.

Many thanks to those of you who have posted friendly andconstructive replies. Joyful – you are quite right, prices here have dropped.The info on sold prices that is in the public domain clearly shows that nothingcomparable to my neighbours house (and they are directly comparable as this issuburbia and the houses are boringly identical!) has sold for more than £250ksince 2005 and I’m noticing similar properties on the market being reduced weekly.I fear for her that as prices reduce she will have less and less money in thehouse, and if she goes interest-only this will of course compound the problem. Itotally agree with those of you who say that some people don’t seem to have/havebeen taught skills of financial management. As I said I’m quite sorry for myneighbour because if she’d been able to make some different decisions she’d besitting pretty now (she bought her first house for a very low figure donkeysyears ago and could me near to mortgage free now it transpires.) The Earl ofStreatham- I promise to be more succinct in future (not doing too well in thissecond post I grant you!)

GDB2222

corrag wrote: »

We went round for dinner recently where they served up this gawd awful miniture concoction of food but it was from Fortnum and Masons don't you know so we were suppose to like it.

We got some chips on the way home as we were still hungry.

I just hope that your friends are not subscribers to the MSE forums.

corrag

GDB2222 wrote: »

I just hope that your friends are not subscribers to the MSE forums.

It wouldn't matter if they were, I make my feelings known to her and I worry about her debt. When we were both 25 she was already in £18k worth of debt and used to cry on the phone to me about it. With help she managed to clear it to £3k but met her now husband who is as bad. They constantly chip away at debts but cutting back makes them feel depressed, so they treat themselves to feel better. Its a terrible circle.

auroan

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

What is fascinating to me is how a couple with one young child and another on the way can feel things are a bit "tight" in a three bedroomed detached house. That's the thing which truly baffles me about your little story.

I had a new build 3 bed detached back in 2008 that is a rabbit hutch compared to my 1968 3 bed semi I have now.

Some older two beds are bigger than the tiny 4 bedroom'd 5hitboxes that builders put up now.

franklee

RoaringTwenties wrote: »

The Earl ofStreatham- I promise to be more succinct in future (not doing too well in thissecond post I grant you!)

There's nothing wrong with the length of your first post, it's just really difficult to read a large block of text like that. All it could do with is a quick edit to put a few blank lines in to split the large paragraph up a bit.

JimmyTheWig

There's no reason why you can't buy their house at market value, sell yours on the open market and let them buy somewhere they can afford on the open market.
Obviously, like anyone else, if they can't afford to buy what they want they may be able to rent somewhere they'd prefer.

SunnySusie

It's critical that you set your own budget and stick to it. Sounds like you have a good grasp of the market, and I'd definitely recommend viewing other houses in the area (even the ones you know you won't buy) as this will give you confidence in your market knowledge.

It sounds like a neat solution but if your neighbour, for whatever reason, can't make the sums work then unfortunately you gotta let it go. As someone else suggests, make a "decent" offer on their house and then leave it with them. If they don't accept then please don't scupper your own finances over it, there are always other options and whenever Ive lost out on a place Ive always ended up finding something better!

Good luck

BobQ

lowlitmemory wrote: »

I think they are just trying it on and want more money off you personally! They probably CAN afford to sell for less, they just want to see if you'd bite. Walk away and see if they come running after you.

I agree with this view.

One question I have is whether you have considered the possibility that your neighbours might recognise themselves from your post were they the sort of people who used this site? Have you considered this? Of course you may not care!