advice/support please -finally facing up to it/ how to convince husband?

muddywinter_2

My husband and I are in debt by approx £28K :eek:

we seem to have always been in debt and it feels like there is no end in sight, it feels like running up the down escalator.
Im not sleeping, im being treated by my doctor for depression (have been for 2 yrs now), all I can think of is the debt. I cant go on like this.

I think we lost control in 2005 when we were forced to move for my husbands work and we lost £500 pm wages/bonus's. we were over commited and couldnt keep up with the payments.
We applied for an IVA (approx £20K debt then), it wasn't accepted by a company with a large percentage of the debt. we ended up having paid about £2ooo to the IVA company but without getting the IVA :mad:.
We started a DMP with Debtcare (now Abacus), at that time we had back rent, a car on hp, childcare costs ect. We have since finished paying the rent and car and no longer use childcare as oldest is in school and youngest in free nursery place. but we have not update the budget/payment of the DMP.
They are now chasing us to redo budget.

We have been SO stupid, and got stuck in a cycle of using payday loans . firstly to fix the car, then a new tyre ect. and its spiraled out of control. for the last 18mths we have been paying £300 pm interest to wonga just to standstill.

We currently owe:
1) stuff in DMP (loans & cards) est £23,000 -I have asked for an up to date list of totals to be sent.
2) pounds to pocket Loan (to pay off PDL in jan) £1500
3) vanquis visa card £800
4) wonga £1400 (due 31st may)
5) other payday loan £450 (due 31st may)
6) another payday loan £375 (due 31st may)

I think the only way forward is to open a new bank account that the payday loans dont have access to. and to approach the CCCs to help start an accurate free DMP including everything.

my biggest obsticle may be my husband who seems to think that because we are currently meeting the pounds to pocket loan that this is worth holding onto to improve our credit rating! we are so screwed one thing paid on time cant possibly do any good. what does he think is going to happen? next month we will be £1700 short once payday loans go out!

In a few weeks he will be going to USA to work for two months. I cant face this alone, im fed up of not answering the phone, pretending all is fine to my mum
( i cant tell her about our debt, we owe about the same as my father did when his business failed and he killed himself when I was eleven, she would be horrified and SO worried).

Any advice on how to move forward would be hugely appreciated.

If I do a soa should I include debt payments? or do it as a budget to show whats left to put against debts?

honey

Hi muddywinter,

I didn't want to read and run (((big hug)))

There will be lovely posters along shortly who have a lot of experience and can help you out with advice and support.

honey x

Nivea_2

i too didn't wnat ot read and run, i am totally new to all this so can't give you any advice, there are lots of lovely people on here with tons more experience and knowledge, but i know you mustn't panic xxxxx

TotallyBroke

Also big hugs.. but you are making a start by acknowleging the problem.
Do a SOA and yes include all the debts etc on there.

I saw a thing on the Fairy Jobmother programme that seemed to hit a lot of people. She had a wad of cash that equated to their incoming. She then asked them to pay each of the bills from that amount and then asked when they ran out what they were going to do next. Obviously you cant withdraw all your money and get Husband to do the same, but maybe cutting up some paper and writing £10, £20 etc might make it sink in a bit.

I'm not sure what you can do with regard to DMP as I have no dealings with them but doing a very realistic SOA will be a starting point. Go through last 3 months of statements to make sure you have everything covered and can account for all cash withdrawals.

VitaK

muddywinter wrote: »

I think the only way forward is to open a new bank account that the payday loans dont have access to. and to approach the CCCs to help start an accurate free DMP including everything.

You said it yourself. This is a very resonably approach to deal with your debts. Talk to your hubby so your both onboard.


From one in debt to another. Ask yourself how important your credit rating is. If you are worried about your credit rating you should have a look at the link below. Just remember, its all about how financially attractive you are.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/credit-rating-credit-score

MOGGYMALONE

at least you've had the courage to face up to these problems. I've no experience of these matters in order to advise but just want to wish you all the best and like others there is plenty of good advise on this forum which will hopefully help you. best wishes, moggy

BrownBear9

Hello...

Did I read this right? -for the last 18 months you have been paying Wonga £300 in interest only payments ??

So you have paid Wonga £5,400 !!! and you have paid nothing off the actual loan ?

I can totally understand- I fell into the trap of payday loans- fortunately a friend came to my rescue and gave me the money to pay them off.

Well done on realising things can't carry on like this, stay calm and my advice is to draw up a complete list of your income and outgoings and go from there... tell your husband that you have to work together as a team on this....

I wish you all the very best and hope you get back on your feet again soon!

Hovel_lady

Hello and welcome to DFW board muddywinter :wave:

The link for the SOA is here:

http://makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Why are you paying a company for a DMP? The debt charities can arrange one for free so all the money you are paying will go towards your debt.

I would suggest contacting one of them:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2077631

You do realise that as you are on a DMP you are not allowed to take on further debt (ie the payday loans)?

Contact one of the charities and see what they advise is best for you.
And do post your SOA on here if you want the people on here to look at it.

Something else you may find helpful...

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cards/mental-health-guide

muddywinter_2

Statement of Affairs
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1960
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 155 - child benefit & tax credit
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2115
Monthly Expense Details
Rent.................................... 0 -from husbands wage b4 paid
Council tax............................. 0 -direct from wage
Electricity............................. 100 -incl repaying arears
Gas..................................... 100 - incl paying arears
Water rates............................. 0 - direct from wage
Telephone (land line)................... 28 -includes internet
Mobile phone............................ 65 - both our mobiles
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 40
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 300
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 175
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 90
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50
Other child related expenses............ 0 - would like to give pocket money but dont yet
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 16
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 60- insurance (need this as has ongoing conditions and dog is old, and pay vets £20 p.m. towards the excess)
Contents insurance...................... 18
Life assurance ......................... 0 - direct from wage
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30 - i dont put this away yet but obviously should budget for it.
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 20 -kids swimming
Holiday................................. 0- we go camping but only if spare cash
Emergency fund.......................... 50 - see presents
rspb membership......................... 5
husband ciggs........................... 35
husband work expenses (unavoidable)..... 35
hughes- dishwasher rental............... 11
weight watchers membership.............. 20
Total monthly expenses.................. 1346

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1000

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
current DMP ...................23000.....337.......0
vanquis visa...................800.......35........0
pounds to pocket loan..........1500......168.......0
payday loan....................375.......375.......0
payday express.................450.......450.......0
wonga..........................1400......1400......0
halifax overdraft..............300.......25........0
mum............................300.......50........0
Total unsecured debts..........28125.....2840......

Monthly Budget Summary

Total monthly income.................... 2,115
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,346
Available for debt repayments........... 769
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 2,840
Amount short for making debt repayments. -2,071

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -28,125
Net Assets.............................. -27,125

debtfreenewbie

You need help NOW.If you were happy with your dmp company, go back to them as long as they arent charging you.If not then look at cccs or another free one.
Dont worry about dh being away ,may be a chance for you to get things sorted.Pay day loans is not the answer...
good luck and keep posting

muddywinter_2

have been onto CCCS website and done the online debt remedy thing, feeling a bit more like there maybe a tunnel, maybe even a light in there somewhere. will sit husband down when kids in bed tonight and show him and talk it through.
thanks for all the support, i really do appreciate it x