brownies problem- question for leaders

mumto2loves

Hi
I tried searching for the brownies thread that was on here a while a go but couldn't find it?

My problem is..

My daughter (8) has been going to brownies and loving it for over a year, but recently she's been a little bit 'not quite as excited' about going.
Tonight when she came out she looked like she was going to burst into tears. She said her sixer and seconder keep being mean and they don't let anyone else in their six do anything good or listen to her ideas. Another mum was sat next to me and over heard and she said that her daughter had said the same thing many times before.
When I questioned my daughter the other girls haven't really said anything horrible, its just bossy !!!!!y 'girls'.

Now should I go and mention it to 'the leader'? or not?

I just feel really sad because my daughter feels sad, but should I tell her to buck up a bit and stand up for herself first and see if that works?

Tia

peachyprice

I'm not a leader, but have been a mum to a Brownie.

I would say yes, definitely bring it to the attention of Brown Owl, this kind of behaviour goes completely against the Brownie ethos.

Sixers and Seconders are supposed to be setting a good example to the younger girls, not being cows to them.

fiscalfreckles

Yes, mention it to one of the leaders. I've been a helper & we did have one Brown Owl, who was a bit lazy & tended to let the girls get on with things themselves; part of the role of the Sixer & Second was to kind of take charge for a bit. This can work but some girls can be a bit bossy; sometimes they need a bit of guidance. If you have a quiet word with the leaders, they can chat to the Sixer & Second about including everyone, listening etc. They should spot it ideally, but they don't always.

KiKi

I would mention it.

However, I would also add that the sixer and seconder are just young kids themselves; it's not like they are completely responsible people old enough to know better. And as such, there will always be kids who are mean to others, so I think you should also teach your daughter to stick up for herself, too.

KiKi

mumto2loves

Thank you

Its very hard this mum thing, I never know know when I should get involved, steam in blaring:p, or stand back and get her to sort things herself.
I can't stand the mums who are 'always there' bleating on about their poor poor children but I want to support my dd.♥
Just read the thread about teenagers at senior school - i'm dreading it:(

~(and sorry of course I appreciate opinions from anyone -not just brownie leaders!:))

roadiegirl

Hi there, I'm a Young Leader at Brownies, and would say to definitely let the leader know, if its a large group she might not have spotted it happening. The group I lead is quite small, therefore we do mostly everything as a pack rather than by patrol, but we do sometimes see things like this happening, mainly from the older girls (9-10) towards the younger girls (6-8), and when we do we always make a point of making sure each girl gets their say and gets to have some input, and it's not just the bossy ones taking over.

GlasweJen

I'm a brown owl.

I'd want to know if this was going on in one of my sixes, some of the girls can be very sneaky and we don't see everything all the time.

I would tackle this first by giving all of the girls a talk about including everyone, if that didn't work I'd send split the sixer and seconder and if that got me nowhere they would find themself demoted.

Usagi_2

I would rather a parent said something and allowed the chance to sort out a problem than the girl just left quietly...

Some units are pretty hectic, not many volunteers, a high ratio of younger girls in the unit or problems to deal with.... it perhaps hasn't been spotted, please do say something.

kingfisherblue

I'm a Brown Owl and would prefer a parent (or the Brownie) to approach me and tell me what is going on. With the best will in the world, we are only human ourselves and don't see everything that happens and we cannot read minds. In a busy group, or a large hall, it is possible to miss something like this - as Jen said, girls can be sneaky.

Guiding is for all girls, not just those who have stronger characters. I don't know of any leader who would tolerate this bullying, and I think most wouod thank you for bringing it to their attention.

djtonyb

Another BrownOwl saluting.

Please speak to BrownOwl. We cannot always see or hear what happens in a noisy room and if we're not told we cannot deal with it.

I have recently been made aware of a similar issue at my unit. I was really upset when a mum approached me, as I have not seen or heard anything untoward. When mentioning it the following week I have 3 other brownies come and tell me the same thing :-0. I have now asked the im4mers ladies in our district to come and do a session on 'bullying' as I felt I needed outside help to bolster my response in the unit

dizsiebubba

I'm a Brown Owl and would prefer it if you told me quietly and then i could watch out for it and solve it xx