Obtaining a court order to change sons name by deed poll

Dontknowanymore

Hi
Has anyone here done this?
I have information overload and just want a real life personal experience!
My son is 8 and we have been discussing names etc, he wishes to change his surname to mine, I know I can just start calling him it etc but I really want it all done legally and properly, especially seeing as I will be applying for his passport sometime within the next 10 months.

Now his father has seen him a total of 3 times in 8 years, never paid me a penny etc etc, strangely enough I saw him the other week when walking down the street of the town we have recently moved to and he saw my son for all of 15 mins and never agin, the last time before that was about 4 years ago.
Last I heard he was moving to cambridge or somewhere like that, but who knows?! None of his family talk to him anymore after he robbed his sister so I can't even go through them.

I have asked him through his mother about consenting to a name change a few years ago and agreed but stupidly I never followed it up, I have just found him through facebook and asked him again, he's agreed but when I asked to meet up to sign he said he's too busy at the moment! :mad:
I just phoned a deed poll service and they said he would have to put his address on the consenting letter, something I know 100% he wont do.
So basically I feel my only option is to go to court, but the woman said if I don't know his adress then that might make it hard to get the order!
To cut another long story short 2 years ago my children were on care orders under social services due to the youngests dad being violent, but my children lived with me, SS contacted him and he basically told them he didnt want any part of it. Would that be able to be bought up in court?

I'm at a loss of what to do really, so was wondering if anyone had any experience of going down the court route where the absent father's wherabouts is unknown.

MissMonkeyMoo

I've just had a look at the link below and if you scroll down it says that the procedure for court orders is not aslong or as expensive as people might think. Not sure who you spoke to, but would prob worth a look. I would still get the process moving asap and get the form filled in and sent, but I don't have any practical experience I'm afraid.

http://www.ukdp.co.uk/child-name-change-court-order/

Dontknowanymore

MissMonkeyMoo wrote: »

I've just had a look at the link below and if you scroll down it says that the procedure for court orders is not aslong or as expensive as people might think. Not sure who you spoke to, but would prob worth a look. I would still get the process moving asap and get the form filled in and sent, but I don't have any practical experience I'm afraid.

http://www.ukdp.co.uk/child-name-change-court-order/

Thanks, yes thats what I saw, but then the woman at the courts has made me worried lol
She is sending me out the forms and advice guidance.

daska

Does he have parental responsibility? i.e. if you weren't married is he named on the birth certificate, or does he have a parental responsibility agreement/order? If he doesn't then you don't need to involve him at all.

Dontknowanymore

Yes he has auto PR thats why I have to get consent.

Caroline_a

My children from my first marriage became 'known as <second husband's name>' which they were happy about at the time. I never bothered with deed poll, etc as I felt it was a cost that I didn't want to incur. However, when they were 17 and 18 I divorced husband no 2 and went back to my maiden name, and the children reverted back to their 'original' names. It was their choice, and no legal fees at all.

noodles86

You can get a deed poll done without his consent, you write a letter with the deed poll with all the reasonable steps you have done to get consent, which sounds like you have done. I did this for my now 5 year old in 2010. However I did have a problem with getting her a new passport (she previously had one in her old name). They wouldn't process without his consent or a court order. Sorry not much help! x

Dontknowanymore

Yes I know I can just use the new name or get a deed poll but I need the legal papers for the passport and school etc.

Fosterdog

I have to say that it might not be the best idea to change his name, I know you say he want's to but he is only 8 so may change his mind later on. Would it hurt anyone to leave his name as it is until he is legally old enough to change it himself?

My cousin took her ex to court to change their kids surnames and she won, the kids wanted it at the time at age 9 and 11. They are now 18 and 20 and are back in contact with their dad and now both want to change back to his name. The oldest boy has said that it's not just his dads name but the family name that he wan't to carry on as he's always been close to his paternal grandparents even though his dad hasn't been around.

On the other hand I have a few friends who never had a dad around and when they were old enough chose to change to their mothers maiden name and are happy like that.

incorrect_2

There is another way, my boys were 7 and 9 and had very little contact with their father and I was the same as you and did not want to just call them by my 2nd husbands name. I saw a local solicitor and we had their names changed by statutory document this was free as it was all done in the kids names not mine and as they were minors and not earning there was no cost involved. The process took around three weeks as far as I can remember.

Janepig

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

Yes I know I can just use the new name or get a deed poll but I need the legal papers for the passport and school etc.

Can you not get the school to call him what you want? Does it have to be legally done for them? Obviously you do for the passport, but I'm sure you can tell the school you want them to call him by a different surname. Two girls I know from DD's cheerleading group have recently changed their surnames - their parents aren't together any more and their mum is married again. I've heard that their father has "done something" and as their surname is quite unusual they've changed it to the same surname as their older half sister (are you following?:D) to avoid being linked with him. I don't think it was done legally - my friend who works in their comprehensive school was telling me that they'd changed their name (although didn't say why).

Jx