What do you think of my complaint that I am about to send to Barclays?

p0ttz

edit: i get the point, its bad, will do it again

SaLoGo

It's not entirely clear what you want from them. You come across too emotional and personal. It needs paragraphing and explaining better.

I'd suggest splitting it into... what happened, how it affected you and what you want them to do.

I'm sure someone will come along soon with some better advice.

opinions4u

Reduce your first paragraph to about five lines.

Remove "I have rights" as it will lose sympathy with any complaint handler.

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A template for a complaint letter would be along the lines of:

This happened to cause the problem
I was told this should happen to put it right - it didn't
I feel <insert brief summary of emotion>

I would like you to put it right within 14 days
Please do this and make an offer of compensation for your failures

Give them clear ways of contacting you, ideally mobile phone number.

p0ttz

SaLoGo wrote: »

It's not entirely clear what you want from them. You come across too emotional and personal. It needs paragraphing and explaining better.

I'd suggest splitting it into... what happened, how it affected you and what you want them to do.

I'm sure someone will come along soon with some better advice.

It is paragraphed but when I pasted it, it didn't

agrinnall

Pretty difficult to read a huge block of text like that, and the English is not very good. If I was writing it I would use bullet points and I would get someone to check that what I'd written is understandable to someone else (it probably all makes sense to you because you know what it's about).

A few questions:

1) The letter suggests you are a minor, if so, how old are you? I'm not sure how much legal control of the account you will have, especially if you are under 16.

2) At least one of the disputed transactions appears to be a payment into your account, this may well be why the account has been closed. Banks don't like people getting payments in from unverifiable sources, they think it could be from illegal activity, so it's quite likely that they suspect money laundering and have closed the account for that reason.

3) Have you actually been into your branch to talk to anyone about this? It's not clear how you have communicated with them, but if you haven't spoken to a real person I suggest you do that.

pmduk

OP you might want to link to the other posts about this saga to illuminate others to the problem.

meer53

It's really not very clear. Bullet points help. State what happened and when. What you are expecting from them.

Why haven't you queried this before now ?

Gromitt

To be brutally honest, if I had received that letter, I'd probably throw it in the bin after reading the first few lines.

For example, instead of "I had been a victim of fraud in November 2011", try "In November 2011, I was the victim of fraud". It reads and sounds better. Don't say "you said" unless you know your talking to exactly the same person as before (unlikely if its going to a complaint department). "I had not received a form since" doesn't even make sense - did you or did you not receive a form?

Explain exactly what happened and what you want. Be short and to the point.

innovate

I'm afraid, it is mpossible to understand what your complaint is about (even taking into account your other posts).

Also, if you were a victim of fraud in November 2011, why are you complaining only now? Exactly what fraud has been committed on you?

If you are a minor, and your mother recommended Barclays to you, why has your mother not been helping you with this problem? Or did she and you forgot to mention it?

agrinnall

Four threads relating to the same issue is three too many. If the OP is still 15 an adult should be dealing with this. I have my doubts whether this is a real post at all, so to quote Duncan Bannatyne, "I'm out!".

thatsean

I don't understand the timing here, you're either very organised at shopping for xmas this year, or very slow at writing complaints letters. What happened? What do you want them to do? How did you not notice your bank account had been closed for months?