Step-son

slightlyodd

Dearest MSE'ers
I have registered a new name because I am very embarrassed by this topic.

I am male, gay and partnered for nearly ten years. My partner's son stays with us typically about once a month, but hasn't been with us since January. He is 20 and at uni.

The mortification bit:
I found a video of him having sex with a couple of guys on a popular amateur gay !!!!!! site. It's definitely him. He isn't "out" and tbh we just assumed he was straight and not telling us about his private life.

I haven't told my partner about it but feel guilty for not doing so. And, hence my change of user name, I feel even more guilty and a bit repulsed with myself because the video turned me on. And I have not watched it just once.

I know MSE isn't really the forum for this but I'm not on any gay ones (never felt the need). My partner's son is coming to stay for a week next week and I'm feeling a bit weird about it.

My partner and I are very open but there is a difference when its your own son in the !!!!!! video. I don't know what I want people to comment really. Just bottled this up for a few weeks and needed it to do somewhere. Mods delete if inappropriate - its probably just therapy for me.

UKTigerlily

I personally don't think you should feel like you have to tell your partner, so long as you don't think your Stepson is in any trouble etc he obviously didn't want you to know & I think as he's an adult his privacy should be respected. I take it at 20 he knows all about safe sex? That'd be my concern, maybe a general chat about staying safe etc if not but i'm guessing he's aware of that.

!!!!!! turns many people on, maybe don't watch that video again but get some you & your Partner can watch together?

I'm sorry I don't really know what to say but I do think the Stepson's private life should remain private from his Dad (I have a gay friend who's Mum found similar photos of him & know how he felt when she did)

FatVonD

Hmmm, I'm quite open to the idea that my son could turn out to be gay and it wouldn't bother me a bit unless I felt he was being used/degraded/taken advantage of by someone older and more experienced, is that whats bothering you, would your partner feel like that? If your partner had a daughter that you'd discovered in a regular !!!!!! movie would you tell him then?

*max*

Well, he's an adult, and allowed to do whatever he wants with his own life, assuming he is not being taken advantage of. I suspect he would be absolutely mortified to know you have seen the video.
I wouldn't say anything to his father, it's not your place to do so.

And please, do not watch it again. That's the part that actually disturbed me more here. Once maybe, to make sure it is him. But more than once - after admitting to feeling aroused by it, now that is very, very wrong! He is your step-son. Urgh.

sassyblue

slightlyodd wrote:

I feel even more guilty and a bit repulsed with myself because the video turned me on. And I have not watched it just once.

Haha course you did.... You certainly chose an appropriate name. :spam:

lostinrates

*max* wrote: »

.

And please, do not watch it again. That's the part that actually disturbed me more here. Once maybe, to make sure it is him. But more than once - after admitting to feeling aroused by it, now that is very, very wrong! He is your step-son. Urgh.

this. Your sexualty in this is irrelevant, it would be no less seedy if your partner were this young man's mother.

Ada_Doom

Don't watch it again and don't tell his Dad. SS being gay is irrelevant, but him appearing in a porno will upset his Dad. At 20 the lad is old enough to make up his own mind about his sex life.

System

I'm afraid if it was me i'd plead ignorance.... Video? What video? Its none of anyones business anyway (other than the stepsons).

slightlyodd

Was thinking about this driving home from work and yes, you are all right. It's nothing to do with me. I accept it excited me but I can get over that. Maybe he'll come out, who knows. Just writing it down on this forum has helped. I feel a bit daft now.

Thanks to all those that replied.