Loaned My Brother and His Wife £4000 to get married

Tina20

Wow they sound like horrible people!

Although, I'm confused on one point. You say you extended the loan and had planned to use the money for yourself. But then your brother and his wife asked for it, so you gave it to them. THEN you say that any repayments they make to you is going to your PARENTS? So you took out the loan, and the money they are giving you to pay it off isn't even going towards the loan?

I know you must love your parents, but I really don't understand why you keep giving them quite a lot of money, putting yourself into more financial difficulty. If you know the money you are giving them is just going to THEIR debt, whilst YOUR debt then goes unpaid, why are they letting you pay their debts while you can't pay yours?

If your parents are in terrible financial struggles, there are other avenues of help for them, you don't need to make it your financial problem too.
As for your brother, there is legally nothing you can do about it, and getting angry at them is just giving them an excuse not to pay.

I'd write them a very calm, rational letter outlining the issues you are having as a result of lending them the money. Mention the things you have here, that they are obviously buying things and not paying you back. Tug at the heartstrings, and maybe they will feel a shred of guilt.

ruggedtoast

Mara69 wrote: »

Edited your post for you. Personally, I'd tell my brother and his wife that I expected them to pay the money they owe me. Then I would have nothing more to do with them. Delete them from Facebook, block their numbers. Tell your parents that they are a pair of wasters and you never want to hear their names mentioned in your company. If they fail to pay the money back then that is a harsh lesson learned.

Don't lend any more money to anyone. Ever.

Yes this basically.

I can't imagine what the OP would do now, Judge Judy?

TotallyBroke

I think all you can do is forget about getting the money back off your brother and SIL... I also think you should stop bailing your parents out.
You say you are getting their house up to standard to sell. Is it really that bad that it cant sell now.
Why are they having you buy half your Grandmothers house? can they not move in anyway.
I think the best thing you can do is do SOA for your parents at the moment and one for yourself. Maybe then do one for the 3 of you if you really have to help them out and see what can be done and where.
Your SIL has already cut you out of their life so its one less thing you need to do but you have to stop helping them and stop your parents from helping them. A 3 way SOA to show them how you are bailing them out will hopefully make them realise they cant do it anymore

DCFC79

The OP's experience is a classic testament why money shouldn't be lent within the family.

BugsyBrowne

DCFC79 wrote: »

The OP's experience is a classic testament why money shouldn't be lent within the family.

Don't class every family with the same brush!!

ruggedtoast

BugsyBrowne wrote: »

Don't class every family with the same brush!!

I quite like mine and I still wouldnt lend them anything.

DCFC79

BugsyBrowne wrote: »

Don't class every family with the same brush!!

It wasn't the intention.

Granted not all families are the same but if money isn't lent then it shouldn't cause any hassle

Taadaa

I agree that as hard as it is, there is no point in getting heavy handed because they will high-tail it away and you won't ever get a penny back.

You did do something very generous (although please don't do it again - it was obvious they were going to mess about when it came to paying it back), but don't hang on the fact that they haven't been grateful. Just don't lift a finger to help them with anything again, ever. They strike me as the type that expect the moon on a stick for nothing, and in fact can you hold it for them please when their arms get a bit achey? And you have been doing it. Well stop it, right now.

No more two hour drives to collect tickets. In fact, do collect the tickets. Then flog them and take it off the balance they owe you. No more freebies, no more favours, delete them off Facebook and when you have your money back delete them completely.

I would also be insisting that car gets sold to pay off what they owe family as well. He wouldn't sell it because he couldn't get the money he wanted? Does he think that has changed now it has been sitting idle for three years with presumably no tax or MOT?

No wonder he keeps on taking the !!!!, you keep on letting him.

BugsyBrowne

DCFC79 wrote: »

It wasn't the intention.

Granted not all families are the same but if money isn't lent then it shouldn't cause any hassle

Oh yeah see what your saying, I suppose it's the same with anything if I have been in need before luckily enough I have had my family to fall on with which has always been paid back and vice versa.

27col

You do know, don't you, that you are never going to get your money back from this pair of freeloading wasters. So you might as well cut them off from both you and your hard earned money.