so upset.. have lost my way

princess_skint_a_lot_2

hello all

ive never really posted a lot, but have loved reading and following all your hints and tips and i hope you will all be able to help me now. I found out i was pregnant in january, i was fine and then all day sickness hit, it was awful i couldnt get up out of bed, and since then there has been one thing after another (not all related to pregnancy) that have made me ill. My husband is disabled and has been trying his best to keep on top of things with DD1 and DD2, just getting meals done and trying his best, but everything has gone to pot. Its not his fault its mine ive been trying to do bits but have been so bad, and havent been able to stand the smell of cooking. We have been haemorrhaging money as its easier for him to buy convenience food as he cant stand for long and his hands are v painful to prepare meals.So now the house is a tip, the freezer is empty, as are the bank accounts and i dont know where to start. We both feel overwhelmed by it all. All advice greatly appreciated.

love princess xxxx

Oliver14

Small steps. Don't expect miracles quickly. the first thing I would do if I was you is Budgets. Sit down work out your in going and outgoings and what budgets you have for food etc. So then at least you have a figure to work from.

The rest of it the tidying etc do in small steps do one small area then try and keep on to of that and then do another area and keep going.

Kitchenbunny

I would second that - small steps are the way to go. If you've a slow cooker, I would use that to make some meals for the evening. If not, you can do the same thing in a casserole in the oven on low. It only needs an occasional stir once the prep is done. Stews lend themselves well because you can add potatoes to them and have the entire meal done in one pot but if you have the oven on anyway you can do baked potatoes. Chicken drumsticks and thighs are relatively cheap to buy and can be roasted in the same tray as potatoes so you can save baking trays meaning less washing up. Other veg like carrots can be roasted too so you can get a few extra vitamins relatively cheaply.

Small steps. If you feel that food is the main area you need to tighten up in, make a list of easily prepared meals using this forum and the internet as a resource, and compare it to what you have in. I wish you all the best with getting back into things - we're all here for help and inspiration if you need it.

KB xx

pink_princess

Hi Princess
First of all big hug to you x

What do you have in your fridge, freezer, cupboards? Also where abouts in the country are you? We may be able to suggest local allotments etc to get food from free or very cheap.

Don't worry about the house, I'm sure it not as bad as mine and I have no excuse:rotfl:
Have a look at the messy house thread and you will see that you are not alone there.

You just need advice to get you back on track, could you post up a SOA? So we can help you get a budget together?

I remember the mess we were in when I joined MSE, nothing is as bad as we think, we just need help to get back on track some times.

Congratulations on expecting your new arrival :A

Rowan9

Hello Princess skint a lot...you'll get lots of support here.
Agree with advice for small steps.
Maybe cook one thing in bulk and freeze? If you manage to cook a cheapish thing every couple of days, you'll soon fill your freezer.
I'm thinking things like a sausage casserole but in a pan so not using the oven, then divide into freezer bags if you don't have boxes (although marg tubs are good and when frozen you can empty out, bag up and use the tub for next cooking session).
Pot of soup? You could have soup and toast or sandwich night once a week
The usual things like spag bol/ pasta sauce?
Thinking of you - remember to be kind to yourself
W

mrcow

I've been there. It's awful and seems like it will never end. It's only a few months and you will get through it.

I couldn't even walk into the kitchen without throwing up (not going in your own kitchen for 6 months seems so odd - but it's true!). My solution was to order food online from Tesco and use discount vouchers and to make a menu plan so even if OH had to do it, he still had instructions for doing it. It did help money wise.

I also let friends and family know how hard I was finding it to cook etc. The result was that many of them helped in terms of making pies/casseroles/chillis/quiches/breads etc which was so kind, but nothing less than I would have done for them in similar circumstances. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Most people are more than happy and do understand what's needed.

anguk

First of all, it's not your fault! Things happen, we get ill and we can't do what we want but it can't be helped.

I would go with using the slow cooker too, if you've got a big one you could batch cook and freeze in portions. If you're making something like a lasagne or cottage pie, make two and stick one in the freezer. Or what about a big pan of soup, that's quite nutritious and filling especially if you have it with some crusty bread.

Don't beat yourself up about buying convenience food, sometimes it's necessary and it can help. Some pasta with a packet cheese sauce (they're quite cheap) with some chopped or shredded cooked ham makes a quick and easy cheap meal. Baked beans are a convenience food and make a quick easy meal with some toast.

You could also have a salad for dinner with some cooked meat or steam some frozen salmon fillets? There's also nothing wrong with having a bag of oven chips in the freezer, if you really don't feel up to cooking it's quick and easy to rustle up egg and chips every now and then.

If prep is difficult for your husband, what about frozen sliced/chopped veg? My OH only has use of one hand so I keep sliced onions, mushrooms and peppers in the freezer (the peppers are normally cheaper than buying fresh), frozen veg is great for chucking in a casserole or curry. Or frozen cauliflower with cheese sauce and some grilled bacon makes a nice quick meal.

As for things like housework, just do little bits when you feel up to it, it's surprising how 10 minutes tidying up can brighten the place up. But don't stress and don't tire yourself out, a dusty messy house doesn't matter, your health does.

flutterbyuk25

I echo what the others say, don't beat yourself up about it. Can you post a list of what food you do have in currently, and what budget you have for food until next payday/income? This will help people here suggests meals to cook/things to buy etc.

My house is a state at the moment too! I've been away and then too busy to tidy so you are not alone. Can you enlist your kids to help out? Even if they are young they can still pick things up, wash up, tidy, wipe over, hoover (depending on ages!)

x

BitterAndTwisted

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Don;t accept any blame for something you have no control over.

Think about the things you can do rather than those you cannot. If you can't stand to go near the kitchen, stay out of it and take on the nippers and the tidying up.

It's time to send out a distress-call to family, friends and neighbours for help. Just be honest and people will come running. I know I would. Sometimes I wish we were more like the Americans, who will pop round with a cooked dinner at the least provocation.....

THIRZAH

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Don;t accept any blame for something you have no control over.

Think about the things you can do rather than those you cannot. If you can't stand to go near the kitchen, stay out of it and take on the nippers and the tidying up.

It's time to send out a distress-call to family, friends and neighbours for help. Just be honest and people will come running. I know I would. Sometimes I wish we were more like the Americans, who will pop round with a cooked dinner at the least provocation.....

I've always thought that the American custom of bringing food round in a crisis is an excellent idea-I wish someone had popped round with a few casseroles when FIL died

Princess-it's not your fault-it sounds as you have had a rotten time and nobody can be expected to even think about food if suffering from severe morning sickness.I still can't eat some things that I went off during pregnancy and my youngest child is 27!

Take any help offered. Double up on a few meals such as chilli, spagetti sauce etc and you will soon build up a little stockpile in the freezer.

The rest of the time cook easy meals. Sausages and oven chips perhaps or corned beef hash , rissotto-or roast a chicken then you will have leftovers for a curry or a pie. If the budget will stretch to it a piece of gammon will do two or three meals-hot, cold with salad and the rest in a tomato sauce with pasta.

With a bit of luck the weather will improve and salads will seem more attractive

ginnyknit

I basically agree with all thats been said Princess. Shopping online and having it delivered is good especially if your OH cannot wander round shops like mine. Every little goal you achieve is another few pennies saved, and you have enough on your plate at the mo. Keep your chin up and pop on here when you can we will always give you advice and support and its free :j:j:j