ASD and terrifies by rain/hail.

lallysmum

Hi all, just after a little advice, please.

DS is 5 and has been diagnosed as having an ASD.

He is a happy little boy, very clever and usually very easy to handle (by me anyway, I think they struggle with him at school sometimes as he has no concept of playing or friends.)

And none of that is what I wanted advice on, lol!

So, last night at school pick up time, I got him from school, it was raining slightly which he was happy about as it meant he got to use his umbrella. And then a thunderstorm hit, very loud crashes and bangs, bright lightening.. and HUGE hail stones. Seriously, for about 10 minutes it was like the end of the world.
But he was absolutely terrified. Literally screaming in fear, crying, shaking, white faced. I picked him up and managed to get him back into the school where we waited it out. Started walking back to the car and it hit again.. picked him up and ran him back inside where the Head and his LA waited with him whilst I went to get the car. Took him home. He was fine playing at home, we talked about how it's ok to be scared and that mummy will always try to make it better and he seemed ok.

And then this morning it was raining again when I went to take him to school. And he refused to go. Not like a teenager refusing to go, but the shakes started again, catch in his voice when talking about going outside, etc.

I managed to persuade him, with the promise that he could take his dictionary to school, and got him into the car. Parked as close as I could to the school, but whilst walking it started raining heavily and the sheer terror started again. I had to abandon all umbrellas and pick him up and carry him in whilst he begged me to get him out of the rain.

Now, the school have been and are brilliant, they let us go in through the office (nightmare in itself as he goes in the same door every day and that's what he does, but he was happy to be different today) and got his LA to take him to the classroom, and will let me know if he struggles to settle today.

But... does anyone have any experience of.. well, helping to get over this fear or rain/hail? I know DS and I know that if I don't try something straight away he will end up becoming incapable of going out in the rain at all, or even worse group school and rain together and refuse to go to school*

I am going to call the Autism Helpline to see if they can suggest anything, but thought I'd ask on here as well. It honestly is as if he is traumatised by the damn rain.





*Obviously, I am aware that he is 5 and has to go to school and can't get his own way about things, but he is autistic so I have to deal with him differently than I would DD who isn't.

PS: Title should be terrifieD by rain, can't type and that's going to annoy me forever now, lol

fluffnutter

I was very phobic of severe weather when I was a child to the point where it affected my life. I'd worry even when the weather was fine and avoided anything to do with bad weather, e.g. weather forecasts, books about meteorology etc. My personal bugbear was wind, but I didn't like heavy rain or thunderstorms much either. If it's any consolation I do think your boy will grow out of this.

But how to tackle it in the meantime? Obviously you have a challenge because he's on the autism spectrum and reasoning/reassurance is often a bit more difficult with autistic kids. Additionally euphemistic stuff like 'it's just God moving furniture' or 'it's just the clouds bumping into each other' will probably just confuse him.

I think with any fear or phobia the most important thing is to keep exposing yourself to that event. Regardless of whether he's ASD or not, he needs to learn that the rain is not actually going to hurt him. If he avoids it, it will enable his fears to grow. This is why I think it's important to not change your behaviour. Whilst it's tempting in the short term to be able to go inside the school office etc. it might be storing up problems in the long term. It's far better for everything to remain the same - that way he'll start to realise that rain is just a normal thing.

It's also probably quite important to do this in tandem with a bit of reassurance. He's only little and it's still very much your job to make his world safe. It's a fine balance between acting normally whilst trying to reassure him at the same time. One involves ignoring the event whilst the other one involves focusing on it! Having said that, the most reassuring thing for him to see is his mum acting cheerfully. This way hopefully he'll realise that there's nothing to worry about. Does distraction help at all? He might be too fearful to think about anything else but if he can have something to take his mind off the weather then that would be a good start.

If it persists, you might want to get some advice about phobias from a child psychologist with particular emphasis on phobias in the ASD child. AFAIK, irrational fears and phobias are very common in kids on the autism spectrum so there should be plenty of support and help out there. Good luck.

londonsurrey

It depends on what aspect of it that is disturbing him.

I'm an aspie with a heightened sense of smell, touch, etc. Does he find it simply too loud, in which case maybe ear defenders/plug would help?

The other thing is maybe getting him to really appreciate the cycle of weather, e.g. evaporation, clouds, rain, rivers, and then leading on to the exciting majesty of nature, so it's more of an identifiable event in a recognised series, rather than the gods randomly trying to zap and drown him.

I remember my mother being inexplicably proud of the fact that I could spell "evaporation" at the age of 5, extolling this skill to numerous people who I'm sure weren't that interested. Lol.

mucklebones

Have you tried ear defenders/ ear muffs to block out the noise? We carry a pair about for those just incase moments, it helps us stay out in those noise sensitive situations (sometimes).

Contacting NAS is a great idea, they will be full of good ideas I suspect.

Have you also heard of autism assistance dogs? It could be worth a thought if he becomes quite withdrawn, although a dog is another big commitment and word of warning brings change to a household which is why we are heading for a slow transition. They can also be a wonderful companion give confidence in difficult situations and help overcome some of those anxieties by providing a focus. Its not for everyone, and will not suit some people with ASD but just a thought.

Goodluck. x

Thought I would add it might be worth showing him some videos you can often find bits on youtube of children playing in the rain, jumping in puddles and such. There is a cartoon of Peppa Pig in a thunderstorm too, my daughter is not a fan of weather extremeties but that cartoon seemed to help her slightly and there is a come outside rainy day episode. Sometimes I think it helps if they can watch others coping in such conditions and seeing its ok.

SandC

I can't give any constructive advice beyond what's already been given but like Fluffnutter I too had a really bad childhood phobia about the weather - all aspects but again the wind terrified me. I did eventually grow out of it but I reckon I was about the same age as your son when it started. I remember a bad storm and I can even remember the date - 5th June. It was, I believe 1976 when I was 5. The hailstones were huge and it might have been the start of it, or I was already wary and that solidified it.

The ASD issue is going to make it that bit worse but I can only suggest exposure to 'weather'. Strangely, although terrified by it, I was also fascinated by it and I can still remember even now being asked about 'my favourite programme' in school and having to talk about it and mine was ..... the weather report. I would never miss a weather report. We lived in the countryside and I could hear the wind howl in the trees as we lived backed onto a forest. It was in the north east of Scotland so we were subjected to quite bad weather back then.

I hope that you can find access to specific help for ASD sufferers, but I believe that it's fairly common in children anyway (a lot of kids in the 70s had a massive fear of death, triggered by the constant ads about nuclear war - it can often be a symptom of what is around us).

I must've been about preteen when it stopped bothering me so much. As an adult I'm still fascinated and weirdly hanker after going on a hurricane spotting tour so I've gone from terrified to intrigued to plain old reckless about it.

Good luck! And Fluffnutter so glad someone else felt like I did!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I can remember being caught in a thunderstorm at the age of 11 and was absolutely stunned that my friend was absolutely hysterical, to the point of needing her 14 year old sister to cover her eyes and carry her home. I had always been fascinated by extreme weather and never found it scary. She apparently had nightmares about the Wizard of Oz. I didn't think badly of her, but it was just something that had never occurred to me could be scary for her, especially as she would pick up huge live spiders by the legs to scare other kids.


When DD1 developed her fear of storms, I would sit under cover in the entrance of our block of flats with her (aged 4 or 5 at the time) during thunderstorms because she had been told that the sounds meant God was angry and was reminding us all that he could flood the whole world and drown everyone and all the animals again. :mad:


One particularly spectacular storm had pinky, lavender coloured clouds and almost purple forked lightning. That was the one that got her over her phobia, because she saw how pretty it was whilst she was under cover. And we did lots of splashing in puddles and getting wet every time it rained.


Maybe learning about 'safe' weather then progressing to the louder bits, drawing pictures if he likes to do that, might get him to understand and not be frightened anymore - after all, he wasn't expecting the loud bangs and flashes, rain just means water falls out of the sky, doesn't it?


And I would gently enquire whether Noah's Ark has been the subject of discussion at school, or whether they've seen bits of the Sorceror's Apprentice in Fantasia/done the music....

fluffnutter

SandC wrote: »

I can't give any constructive advice beyond what's already been given but like Fluffnutter I too had a really bad childhood phobia about the weather - all aspects but again the wind terrified me. I did eventually grow out of it but I reckon I was about the same age as your son when it started. I remember a bad storm and I can even remember the date - 5th June. It was, I believe 1976 when I was 5. The hailstones were huge and it might have been the start of it, or I was already wary and that solidified it.

The ASD issue is going to make it that bit worse but I can only suggest exposure to 'weather'. Strangely, although terrified by it, I was also fascinated by it and I can still remember even now being asked about 'my favourite programme' in school and having to talk about it and mine was ..... the weather report. I would never miss a weather report. We lived in the countryside and I could hear the wind howl in the trees as we lived backed onto a forest. It was in the north east of Scotland so we were subjected to quite bad weather back then.

I hope that you can find access to specific help for ASD sufferers, but I believe that it's fairly common in children anyway (a lot of kids in the 70s had a massive fear of death, triggered by the constant ads about nuclear war - it can often be a symptom of what is around us).

I must've been about preteen when it stopped bothering me so much. As an adult I'm still fascinated and weirdly hanker after going on a hurricane spotting tour so I've gone from terrified to intrigued to plain old reckless about it.

Good luck! And Fluffnutter so glad someone else felt like I did!

It's so weird isn't it? I was obsessed with it too, although I used to avoid stuff unlike you who used to seek it out. TBH, I think your approach was more healthy. When the weather report came on I used to go and sit on the stairs with my fingers in my ears but endlessly thinking 'the weather's on the telly. I want to see it but I can't'.

Christ, my parents must have thought I was barmy! When there was that really bad hurricane in the south (October 1987 when I was 14) I actually slept through it! I remember my dad saying in the morning 'Thank God you weren't awake - I'd have had to hit you over the head or something to sedate you'. He'd been awake since 2am patrolling the house because our entire roof was lifting and he thought he might have to evacuate everyone. If I'd have been awake too, I don't think he'd have been able to cope with both the wind and my gibbering panic.

I'm completely over my phobia now apart from one thing... rainbows. Feel really, really uncomfortable when I see one of those.

SandC

We had a stream (or 'burn') at the bottom of our garden before a field. It regularly used to burst over and flood when we had heavy rain. I can still feel that dread in my stomach that I used to feel when it was raining and I could see the burn getting fuller and bigger and spreading. The wind noise in the trees was worst in the bathroom and I could hardly bare to visit the loo cos I knew it meant being subjected to that sound.

We went to see friends in the US and you can imagine the state I got in when I saw a hurricane warning scrolling along the bottom of the tv screen one day. :eek:

I also had problems with loud noises, bangs and such. I had to wander off from a medieval jousting event at at local castle when they had fake canons and things going off - got a proper telling off for disappearing but I had to escape it. I think I used to watch the weather report in the hope that it was going to be good. It meant that I was well aware of the location of Aberdeenshire on a map of the UK at least!

lallysmum

fluffnutter wrote: »

But how to tackle it in the meantime? Obviously you have a challenge because he's on the autism spectrum and reasoning/reassurance is often a bit more difficult with autistic kids. Additionally euphemistic stuff like 'it's just God moving furniture' or 'it's just the clouds bumping into each other' will probably just confuse him.

I think with any fear or phobia the most important thing is to keep exposing yourself to that event. Regardless of whether he's ASD or not, he needs to learn that the rain is not actually going to hurt him. If he avoids it, it will enable his fears to grow. This is why I think it's important to not change your behaviour. Whilst it's tempting in the short term to be able to go inside the school office etc. it might be storing up problems in the long term. It's far better for everything to remain the same - that way he'll start to realise that rain is just a normal thing.

Thank you.. yes, there is no point being silly and telling God's washing up or anything, he'll just not understand that at all. I have ordered a couple of books from Amazon which will explain about weather and he's been completely engrossed in an ipad app which is doing the same thing - we'll be doing our own rain making experiments at the weekend thanks to that app.

I think I was just worried as he has, up to now, been fine in the rain, snow, winds, all weathers.. it was just so bad yesterday that it scared him too much. Sadly, it's expected again for tomorrow, so we'll see what happens then.

Thanks again.

lallysmum

londonsurrey wrote: »

It depends on what aspect of it that is disturbing him.

I'm an aspie with a heightened sense of smell, touch, etc. Does he find it simply too loud, in which case maybe ear defenders/plug would help?

The other thing is maybe getting him to really appreciate the cycle of weather, e.g. evaporation, clouds, rain, rivers, and then leading on to the exciting majesty of nature, so it's more of an identifiable event in a recognised series, rather than the gods randomly trying to zap and drown him.

I remember my mother being inexplicably proud of the fact that I could spell "evaporation" at the age of 5, extolling this skill to numerous people who I'm sure weren't that interested. Lol.

He has never shown any sensory issues, is fine with fireworks etc, I think that this freak storm was just too loud and overwhelming for him to cope with. I have now ordered some ear muffs so maybe they will help if it happens again.

We are now studying all different types of weather.. I'm lucky in that he really is very advanced in his reading and comprehension skills so got a quite technical ipad app which is explaining it all to him properly -it's been a very long time since I studied geography and learnt about whether. I'm pretty sure it rains when there are grey clouds and that's about as far as I can explain, lol.

lallysmum

mucklebones wrote: »

Have you tried ear defenders/ ear muffs to block out the noise? We carry a pair about for those just incase moments, it helps us stay out in those noise sensitive situations (sometimes).

Contacting NAS is a great idea, they will be full of good ideas I suspect.

Have you also heard of autism assistance dogs? It could be worth a thought if he becomes quite withdrawn, although a dog is another big commitment and word of warning brings change to a household which is why we are heading for a slow transition. They can also be a wonderful companion give confidence in difficult situations and help overcome some of those anxieties by providing a focus. Its not for everyone, and will not suit some people with ASD but just a thought.

Goodluck. x

Thought I would add it might be worth showing him some videos you can often find bits on youtube of children playing in the rain, jumping in puddles and such. There is a cartoon of Peppa Pig in a thunderstorm too, my daughter is not a fan of weather extremeties but that cartoon seemed to help her slightly and there is a come outside rainy day episode. Sometimes I think it helps if they can watch others coping in such conditions and seeing its ok.

I have ordered some ear muffs, thank you.

I've never heard of an autism assistance dog - we have a 14 year old shih tzu, but she probably doesn't qualify.. and three cats, lol. That might be something to look into when he's older though, so thank you.