child benefit for both parents

lucyj2011

please help!!!
my partner and i just won shared residency of his 6yo son yesterday. however, the mother is demanding she keep all the child benefit and that we still have to pay her maintenance. it seems soooooo unfair. my partner cared for his son from 4mnths to 5yrs old whilst the mother worked. she was (and still is) such a control freak she refused to allow the child benefit to be in his name or paid to him. we have been told to dispute the child benefit but WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO??? PLEASE PLEASE can someone help us....:(

clearingout

how shared is shared? by what percentage? at which address is the child registered for the doctor, school, dentist etc?

is the SRO in both you and your partner's name? Why call her 'the mother'?

lucyj2011

50/50 shared care, literally down to the minute. the sro is in both her name and my partners. as we only got the order yesterday he is registered at doctors and dentist at the mothers address. the school have been informed of the outcome so will have both adresses on record.
i call her the mother cuz thats what she is

Dunroamin

lucyj2011 wrote: »

50/50 shared care, literally down to the minute. the sro is in both her name and my partners. as we only got the order yesterday he is registered at doctors and dentist at the mothers address. the school have been informed of the outcome so will have both adresses on record.
i call her the mother cuz thats what she is

How many nights with each parent?

lucyj2011

it works on a 2week rota... 3nights with us 1 week then 4 nights the 2nd week. so over 28nights he is with us 14

clearingout

child benefit can't currently be shared and the parent who has the child benefit can claim maintenance through the CSA although there will be a substantial reduction as a result of the shared care. I believe that in cases of 50/50 shared care, this is set to change but it isn't the case at the moment. If he is registered with the doctor etc.

With one child, it is very difficult. Does mum earn less or more than your partner?

You'll have to forgive me - I have 'issues' with new partners who refer to old partners with the word 'the' in front of it. It's not necessary. It stacks up the resentment and anger and just doesn't help - if you have shared residence, there is really a need to co-operate with mum for the sake of the child. I enquired about the Residence Order being in both your names to make the point that the child is your partner's and his exs - as such, you (both you and your partner) didn't gain shared residence, he did. It's pedantic, I know, and step parents can never win, but neither can 'the mothers' (of which I am one and often referred to in that derogatory way by my ex's new partner!) so it works both ways!

clearingout

sorry - half a sentence there. If he is registered with the doctor's at mum's house, this is something Child Benefit would look at if you wanted to appeal the situation. If you tried to change it now, it would just be seen as you wanting to change it for the sake of the Child Benefit - bit of a vicious circle. I don't know their criteria for making a change but I suspect if there's a 50/50 Order in place, they won't change anything.

lucyj2011

she earns at least double what my partner does. she did say she thinks she will lose the CB if changes take effect next year due her income.

i called her 'the mother' on here as i was just trying to make it clearer for people to understand. as for trying to get on with her, we have. believe me i want a civil relationship with her for his sake, there will be times when things need to be discussed. we have tried so many times to work with her for it to be thrown back in our face or met with a brick wall.
after 18months of fighting via solicitors and court we gave up yesterday as it wasnt fair for my step-son or us. we set out for 50/50 and got it. the little things that make the big picture will just have to be worked round.

we just find it very unfair the CB cant/wont be split and we still have to pay here even thought he will be with us (in our care) for half the time

Mojisola

lucyj2011 wrote: »

she earns at least double what my partner does. she did say she thinks she will lose the CB if changes take effect next year due her income.

This might be the answer to the problem. If she is unable to claim CB, your OH can claim it.

She's unlikely to give it up voluntarily so you'll just have to live with the unfairness of the situation in the meantime.

clearingout

I agree, on the face of it it seems unfair. Particularly if she's earning more. However, she may well have higher outgoings, bigger mortgage and all that comes with it? Is she a single mum whereas your partner has you to help contribute to household costs as well? You could try contesting it with the Child Benefit people - you have nothing to lose, I guess.

Other thoughts are does she have costs your partner doesn't? childcare, for example? is she paying for activities, school uniform, trips, haircuts, shoes, school lunches etc. on her own or does your partner make a contribution? It may well be that her outgoings are more if you add them all up. Equally, if you are paying maintenance, that is the end of your partner's legal obligations so if he is contributing with shoes, uniform, school lunches he could stop doing that to try and even things up a bit. Although there's bound to be backlash.

MissMoneypenny

lucyj2011 wrote: »

she earns at least double what my partner does. she did say she thinks she will lose the CB if changes take effect next year due her income.

I think they were talking about staggering the amount earned instead of just one cut-off point, so she might still get CB.

Don't forget also that CB qualification, is just being based on one wage only and as your partner also has your wage to add to the household income, your household income may not be that much lower that the child's mother's household income. I assume you're working too?